Decisions, Decisions

[defiant]

I do hope you guys will bear with me throughout another of my long-winded musings but this is being written by someone who is truly seeking every sliver of relevant information and further to that some guidance to inform my decision-making.

And while at the end of the day only I will know what the right decision is and when to make them, your help is invaluable so thank you for that.

I have a somewhat familiar story, which I won't go into in detail as I have done already, a few times now. My signature sums it up well enough. But - I find myself at a point where I am so fed up of this mental anguish, the toil that this scourge brings to a man and his state of mind, his confidence and sense of identity.

For over ten years now, I've been dealing with this and month by month, it gets worse and worse. Yes there have been some ups with certain partners throughout the years but by and large, I'm now thoroughly dependent upon pills and who knows if they even work still, I think about this issue every other minute, I can't masturbate to completion, my attitude to sex and arousal is so damaged and my confidence is zero right now.

I've been told it's all in my head and even night time studies show what is regarded as normal activity but certainly in my waking state, there is some kind of block or shutdown or some kind of profound disconnect (whether due to an undiagnosed physical shortcoming) or entirely due to an extremely powerful sympathetic nervous system and stress response that prevents me certainly from keeping it up for a protracted period of time.

As for morning wood, I might get it once in a blue moon.

Psychologists haven't worked. A shrink was nonsense. Meditation, chilling, the lot. It hasn't helped.

I'm almost there. I'm fed up. Life is happening now. I'm an otherwise very good looking young man, with endless potential, modest too haha! I want to take the plunge.

But a few things hold me back

- What will women truly think (as a young single man in the dating world)

- What if the surgery is an absolute disaster

- A sense of regret

- Will my 'sense' of erection really feel like a pulsating hard-on

And for me probably the main thought....

- Will I still *want* to go out and have sex with women as before with the sensation of having a foreign body inside my most prized area and all that that entails.

Your thoughts on any of the above are welcome.

I hope you're all very well and a public thank you to the very awesome Merrix whose candid and upfront, no-BS information was so wonderful to hear. Thanks for the phone call, mate!

[edsince18]

Few months ago, you told us that your female friends said they would be okay with implanted man if they have sex with him.

what woman think is also one of my main concern but infection is obviously most scary concern.....

I am about 10 years younger than you.
Your worries evoke sympathy for me

[oldbeek]

Some of us can not have an orgasm, or to clarify intakes 40 minutes to get one, after having the implant installed. Your mental state seems so fragile, I wonder what that would do to you. Have you tried a hypnosis?

[defiant]

Some of us can not have an orgasm, or to clarify intakes 40 minutes to get one, after having the implant installed. Your mental state seems so fragile, I wonder what that would do to you. Have you tried a hypnosis?

Actually yes, I did try it. Was a load of bollocks as we say here in England. (sh*t).

My mental state is fragile but how long I wonder can I stay in this limbo, utterly paralysed, and in some of the most important and formative years of a man’s life.

[defiant]

Few months ago, you told us that your female friends said they would be okay with implanted man if they have sex with him.

what woman think is also one of my main concern but infection is obviously most scary concern.....

I am about 10 years younger than you.
Your worries evoke sympathy for me

Yes, I think this is one of my lesser concerns though it is of course still a concern.

I have so much sympathy for you too mate.

[oldbeek]

Hypnosis does work. MY sister was a hypnotharipist and I saw her cure many people, but you may be like me in that she could never get me to go under. I have tried to join into the fun at hypnosis shows and could never be put in a trance by anybody. Sorry for your problems. All I know is natural hardon by use of pills or even injections are better than this mechanical rod. Have you tried professional girls? If they know up front that you may have problems, they will not care. They are there for the $$$. Some are very good at getting a guy up.

[mikestap]

Defiant,
It really seems as though you have done your homework on this one. I can appreciate that you want every sliver of information that is possible, but each of us seem to have different experiences, so after hearing from many of us, I am sure you may conclude the outcomes are virtually infinitely variable. Not one of us represent your potential outcome, so be cautious about “analysis paralysis.”

As for me, I like my Titan; after 7 months, it feels quite “unforeign;” sex with my wife is wonderful; I have no problem coming, but I like to wait for her. And I can. I can pump up my dick to a suitable level in under 60 seconds, thirty if it has been “primed” during foreplay. It is oval shaped more than round, but rounds a bit as I get excited. My dick frequently pulses involuntarily during foreplay. My orgasms are so mind-blowing, I cannot tell you what happens then. Having had a RP, I no longer ejaculate. My wife can feel the cylinders in her hands and in her mouth, but not in her vagina. It is ALWAYS ready. And I am always up for making love to her. We are best friends, devoted lovers; we trust each other and love one another without condition. We are happy and grateful for the implant and my skilled surgeon.

Having said all that, I’ll repeat what I believe you have heard from all of us. I would prefer having a natural erection that sprang to life at the mere thought of my wife. We would be happy if it got hard and stayed that way with a little foreplay. Not to be. I went through the pills at increasing doses, which were preferable to the implant, until the pills stopped working. I used the shots for a couple years, amazed at first, but those had become unreliable, and as I am sure you can imagine, quite disappointing when we were in the moment.

As I understand what you have told us, there is no medical deficiency to explain your circumstances. Given this, I would try like hell to prove to myself I needed the implant, or to overcome whatever it is that keeps your dick from working while you’re awake. You have advice to find a professional lady, but you haven’t supplied any info on your experience there. You can read from my message here that I have been blessed with an amazing woman whom I love deeply. Maybe you’re like me and need this kind of loving trust from a friend for things to click. You’ll read many comments on these pages that say if your woman cannot accept what you have or what you don’t, she’s not likely worth your angst.

My point is if you have qualified physicians telling you the hydraulics are all in working order, test them. Give yourself a year. Try a patient professional for a month. Or find a woman who will love your handsome self for who you are. Tell her what’s up with what’s not. And when you get her clothes off, get her to show you how to satisfy her orally. If there were ever a best way to make a good first impression, my friend, this has to be among them. I’ll bet she knows how to return the favor, even on a soft dick.

I wish you the best of happiness, Defiant.

Mike