The imperfect implant

[Cnidium]

AussieJay and Merrix could not say it better.

I found myself in the land of fantasy chasing. I bought a 4.5k class IV infrared laser (to attempt to heal myself, wtf?), every herb in the book, and even attempted to sign up for some kind of new scar dissolving pharmaceutical that hasnt made it out of stage I testing.

And what has happened so far? No sex, having to reject every female that expresses interest in me, and a roller coaster of mental insanity that sometimes seems hopeful, but always managed to drop to a shit hole level.

Im 27 years old. I have lost 4 years to injury induced ED. I dont plan on wasting anymore.

And if you have a correct perception of what an implant can offer you, then the implant can in fact be 'perfect'. If you expect it do imitate your natural erections, then you are delusional. If you think you can get a working erection, that can be rock hard, and lets you have sex for a long time, while simultaneously understanding that true spontenaity will never happen, then I think you can have a 'perfect' result.

IMO, not everything about an implant is a bad thing, or something that is less that what your natural erection was. Maybe you can only get half-ass erections with injections. In that case, an implants rigidity is a clear upgrade. Maybe you are sick of taking pills that don't always work that leave you wondering you will be even be able to have sex that night. In this case, an implant will let you forgo that. Maybe, like me, you have scarring which cannot be cured and the only way of having a hard functioning erection is through an implant. In this case, knowing what the trade-offs are, the implant sounds perfect.

I have said this a lot now... be a boss, be in command of yourself. Execute a decision based on facts. If you go the implant route, then own it. Accept the cons, and use all of its pros to your benefit.

[alibaba]

AussieRjay, That was an EXCELLENT post. merrix, you were spot on as usual. Cheers boys, have a great weekend.

[JayGould]

Im 27 years old. I have lost 4 years to injury induced ED. I dont plan on wasting anymore.

I've only lost 6 months personally but from everything I read and the way I assess my own situation I know natural improvement is very unlikely. Going for an implant within the next 6 months as well. Hopefully I can regain some size (at least girth).

Did you lose any dimensions Cnidium?

[ThePlumber1964]

Brothers,

I find this one of the most fascinating threads around. Ali, thanks for opening it! And it has turned in the complete opposite direction of what you might have expected, and it has served to clarify a lot of areas.

Let me be clear, VERY CLEAR: this is a prosthesis that is being implanted in the most psychological-connected anatomical area. Hence, the expectation to get a result as close to the real thing MUST be the MAIN goal of the surgeon, because the physical and psychological consequences are unparalleled.

That is why the most stressed advise given here is that you should get the best surgeon you can. And when I say the best, is not only based on their technical abilities, but having a compassionate mentality when dealing with EVERY single patient. We are a completely different entity one from each other. So, their approach must be to understand our uniqueness before the implant, and use such understanding to help guiding us to achieve full recovery. This is a monumental responsibility, and not everyone is equipped to do it.

This is not an easy decision to make, so let's do not make it in a rush, nor dwell on it more than it's needed. So, brothers, it is out duty to do our homework because by doing so, we will be able to serve ourselves the best way we can in order to achieve both, the physiological and the psychological healing that this procedure can provide.

With brotherly love,

ThePlumber

[lunacynic]

my installation did not go well. worthless post-op instruction and early and incompetent drain tube withdrawal led to massive internal bleeding, 3 days of blood leakage from the tube incision, and a lot of needless swelling and discomfort. my surgeon chose the wrong implant and the wrong size and unnecessary rte's. my pump still hangs high and horizonally with the bulb sticking out in front.

but .. it goes up and down on demand.

i live in asia where i have ample opportunity to field test this baby. the first thing i do when i find a partner is show her pix of the appliance and explain how it operates. without exception they find everything fascinating. once they see it in the flesh they can't keep their hands off their new toy, and because it's adjustable i can always make it fit

i think of it like this: for most of my life i drove a ferrari. it was intoxicating! but eventually it started to break down. i lost 5th gear. the shocks wore out. the steering got loose and the brakes started locking up. i could still drive it after the turbo went but finally the engine just froze and all i had was a pile of italian junk.

then i discovered i could replace it with a z06 corvette. not italian but still a beast! i ordered one but my dealer delivered a 4-banger toyota instead. the driver door won't close all the way and there's a big dent in the hood.

but .. it starts every time .. and takes me wherever i want to go

my doc did just about everything wrong but i'm still the happiest guy in the world

[Smetro]

You have to adopt the right mindset. You are not being "cured" in terms of a restoration of full natural function and health. That, of course, is the gold standard anyone would want. Reality intervenes however, inasmuch as it is simply not possible to effect a cure. This is true of many ailments, and wishing it were otherwise will not change things.

What you are (potentially) having done is the installation of a prosthesis. This word is bandied around, but I wonder sometimes if people really let this sink in. In almost all respects, it is analogous to the installation of a hip or knee prosthesis. You are replacing a natural body part / function that has broken down to the point where it is no longer functional.

How do knee implants compare to natural knees? They are painful and complicated to install. They carry substantial surgical risks. They are prone to failure and to wear - they do not last forever, and are therefore quite rationally installed as a last resort. They don't behave exactly like a natural knee - in range of motion, and other respects - but they get very close.

Sound familiar?

Now take someone with a worn out or damaged knee. That person can hobble around on crutches, singing woe is me, and live that way. They can scan journals of regenerative medicine, keeping track of progress toward treatments that will grow them a new knee from stem cells or some other miracle cure. They can spend a decade doing that if they like, all the while their mobility growing poorer and poorer along with their quality of life, waiting for a cure that may not come within their lifetime, or one which comes so late that years or decades of quality of life effectively have been wasted for nothing. They might get their cure in 20 years, by which time their cardiovascular system is in a bad way and they still can't walk far or at all! What a pyrrhic victory that would be.

Alternately, that person can have the knee replaced, now, and be walking again in a few weeks or months. It will not be the same as their original knee, but functionally it is usually a brilliant move which rapidly and durably restores significant quality of life.

I'm 44. I just had an implant installed. I spent years (25 - read that again: TWENTY-FIVE YEARS) hoping that I could be cured, that some miracle treatment for venous leak would present itself. So far, there have been a lot of hopeful noises and little else. Lots of hopeful noises that turn into nothing, and lots of shysters preying on desperate men. Dangerous experimental surgeries leaving people sometimes worse off than before (witness poor gollam's struggle with that). Stem cell treatments being run out of poorly regulated clinics. The list goes on. Half-way treatments that occasionally make small improvements but ultimately do not cure the problem, and do nothing but keep men in a holding pattern of fear, anxiety and false hope. One thing after another, for many men, tried and failed, each of them eating up months or years of that man's limited time on this Earth.

My choices, as of the day before implant, were to try one of those poorly evidenced procedures, continue to wait for a miracle (having already waited two+ decades for one, losing most of my prime male years to anxiety, stress and celibacy) or get the implant, a mature, refined technology with four decades of experience, incremental improvement and success behind it. Then start enjoying my life again. Once you run an impartial ruler over your options, with the rose coloured glasses off and the fantasies stripped down to actualities, it didn't seem like much of a choice existed at all. Be potent with an implant, however imperfect they might be, or remain impotent indefinitely. Remain stressed. Remain celibate. Remain that way til I am in a box.

Medical science may well cure the problem at the organic level in another 20 years (I don't for one second believe it is significantly closer than that). That will be magnificent if (big IF)/when it occurs. By then I will be 64. Should I bank on that, give up what's left of my prime, and endure another 20 years of ED and celibacy so I can screw like a maniac only once I am in my 60s? Come on. Firstly, I could be hit by a bus next week, and secondly I don't have the wealth to ensure that in my mid 60's I will be making out with partners as compelling as those I could attract now. That may well sound shallow, and it is, but I missed out almost wholly on sex in my late 20s, my 30s and early 40s with partners of that same age. From most accounts, the best years of many people's sex lives. I am having those that remain, thanks, not waiting and waiting for something that may not come or come far too late. I am unmarried / single. Should that too be allowed to persist another 20 years? Should I be looking to spend up to 40 or more years with the love of my life, or only to spend 10-20 with whoever will have me during my golden years - all because I held out for "perfection"? That certainly doesn't sound like a "perfect" life outcome to me.

No, implants are not perfect. They can never be perfect, because they will never cure the problem that caused the dysfunction in the first place. They restore most of that functionality and, like any other prosthesis, there are massive benefits to be had from that. This is where your focus must be - reality. A desire for perfection in an implant is really just another way of expressing the desire for restoration of full natural functionality - the very same fantasy that has caused all the angst to date and which will continue to do so as long as you refuse to accept any lesser outcome (ironically tolerating instead a much lesser outcome, in the form of choosing to continue to suffer your current disability).

The implant is quite rightly the option of last resort, just as knee replacements are. However if you are at the point of having no other options then you can choose to continue to pine for what will likely never be (or come too late to do you personally any good) or you can accept the best functional outcome you can obtain.

What causes people the most grief is lack of perspective. It certainly was for me. This is true of many mental health issues, and deciding what to do about persistent and disabling ED rapidly does become a mental health issue. Once you are able to make yourself perform a rational, dispassionate assessment of the situation you are in, you will perhaps then have the necessary perspective to make the best decision. While ever your head is full of anxiety and self-pity (how do I get cured when there is no cure, life sucks, woe is me) and fantasy (something will come along soon and cure me, I just know it) you can't perform that dispassionate analysis of your situation and options and you can't get the necessary perspective to make the right decision for yourself. If you want to take anything from this post of mine, take this: don't allow 25 years to elapse before you get your head into the real world and make that dispassionate assessment.

You can't choose whether your natural function returns. You most certainly can choose your own headspace. If you are considering implantation, I exhort you to obtain counselling or any other support necessary to get your head to the place where you have the required perspective to make an informed decision about the risks and rewards. Anyone going into an implant surgery with their head still in the messed up place I describe above would, I think, be at much higher risk of an adverse outcome in terms of satisfaction with both the implant and with their life generally post-implant.

My implant has not been activated yet, but I certainly did all the mental hard yards before I wound up on the operating table. My attitude to life generally improved considerably within hours of the surgery. I had made the dispassionate assessment, and I had followed through. The difficult part was over. All that remains is to adhere diligently to rehab (same as with a knee replacement), assess the functional outcome and maximise the life satisfaction to be had from that degree of restoration of function. For me, if that means that I can go from depressed sexless "victim" who lives with a dog, to a man with a loving partner, an active sex life and my headspace freed for concerns other than the non-working state of my dick, that's as good a functional outcome as I could reasonably hope for. Will it self-erect on a sexy thought? No. That's reality. Will it erect on demand and eradicate performance anxiety? Yes. That's reality. Is that as good as it gets for me? Yes, that is the final reality. At my present age and with the present options, that is as good as it gets for me. Is that something to be sad about? That's down to your state of mind. You can continue post-implant to wallow in misery with a victim complex if you wish. It won't change anything and wholly defeats the purpose of going through the procedure. Or you can take the minor miracle you've been given and - like someone with a new knee - get out of the house and go walking once more. That is a choice entirely within your own control - you can choose to wallow in a victim mentality as long as you wish, and you can choose to cease doing so. Which of those is likely to lead to happiness, do you think?

If you are still researching and deliberating, make sure your decision making process is grounded in reality, not tossing around fantasy "options" which aren't actually open to you and may never be. What can I do about the problem in real concrete terms right now? Not pie in the sky stuff - reality. That would be pills, injections, VED or implant. Assume the first three have failed. What is likely to come along in the near (not distant) future that might present another option? Anything? No. Not really. Will an implant cure me of the original causation of the ED? No. Will it give me back a life and a level of functionality I can be happy with? That depends on the success of the surgery, your own attitude, and whether you have set your expectations in accordance with reality - or if you are still living in a world of fantasy cures. The reality is that an implant can provide something approaching full function, not unlike the replacement knee. You will be able to have sex, and you will be able to remove the debilitating anxiety and self loathing from your life. It is astonishing, really, that an option so successful is available at all. Men's health generally doesn't get a lot of attention and we are beyond fortunate that this option is open to us.

I choose to be optimistic about where my life will be in a few months. Like the man with the bung knee, I choose not to sit at home and moan that never again will my knee work like it used to. I choose to restore my ability to walk, and then go walking.

If they are growing new knees in 20 years, I will look then at whether there is anything in that for me. In the meantime I will have been out walking and living my life for the prior 20, not sat at home whining, embittered and atrophied.

Well said mate
I am a little older than you but definitely not old....no they aren't perfect but the person who is extremely happy with my Titan is the lovely Miss H-Bomb.
No hang ups, went to Melbourne with me for the op, has experienced the process and now (past 110 days) bonks me crazy and has multiple orgasms over a considerable period.
Was my cock ever this reliable? This firm? For 2 or more hours?....maybe when I was 17 or 18!! But not in the last 15 years that's for sure!
Apart from still getting it to be comfortable during the day my implant/prosthesis has given me nothing but comfort and JOY!
Maybe I was lucky, maybe I chose the right surgeon and maybe my extreme good health has fed into my satisfaction...... But satisfied I am! In the extreme.

[Tenk11]

For me, if that means that I can go from depressed sexless "victim" who lives with a dog, to a man with a loving partner, an active sex life and my headspace freed for concerns other than the non-working state of my dick, that's as good a functional outcome as I could reasonably hope for.

Bro, what happened to the dog!?

Seriously, amazing post. I'm getting my implant on Thursday. I am both excited and scared. This thread has been a great read at the right time.

[charlesr]

Hi, alibaba,

I just read this post now. Perfectly and eloquently said! I couldn't agree more, nor could I have said it any better myself.

[AussieRjay]

Bro, what happened to the dog!?

The dog's curled up on the couch with a belly full of chicken necks. Most spoilt cattledog I ever met (since his predecessor, anyway). He's not going anywhere. Guess I will need to date dog lovers

Hope it all goes smoothly for you Tenk11!

[IJN1324]

My two cents

You cannot satisfy some people. They will always look for the negative in every situation.

You couldn't get your dick up before, now you can keep it up for as long as you like. Whats not to love?

Rather than complain, think about how frustrating it was whilst suffering ED and thank God that you were able to get this nearly perfect solution.

I love ddbryan and alibaba cos they have such positive things to say about a horrible situation made good by this surgery. We should all follow their lead.

My mom always used to tell me if you have nothing good to say "SHUT UP"

I didnt join this forum to hear negative comments, so keep them to yourselves and celebrate your bionic-ness (if that's a word) with your frank talk brothers