ED is the worst thing that can happen to a man

[Rufian]

ED is the worst thing that can happen to a man's confidence, self esteem and mental health imo short of being penile amputated. Sex life for women is so easy, many just lay there like fish. As a man you have to worry about a lot of stuff.

If you're too big, then it hurts, no good. If you're too small, they don't feel it, you suck. If you're too hard, it hurts. If you can't get hard, you're a failure. If you move too much, no good, if you don't move enough, you suck. If you ejaculate too fast, you suck, if you can't ejaculate, why don't you like, am I no attractive to you?

Plus, you're the one doing ALL the work during the deed, while the lady, all she has to do is either lay there or be on her knees. Many barely move. On top of that, your mind is worrying about whether you'll get hard, whether you will be good enough, whether you will measure up, whether she will stay or leave.

So if you suck at any of these, especially the ones about being hard, hitting the right spots, etc, many just leave or cheat without giving a care about your feelings and find someone else who can. As such, we are seen as machines, who are just supposed to shut up and do the work, and if you can't, if you are broke and out of order, then you're replaced by another one.

Dating for men is much harder, as it is men who have to approach, face rejection, etc. So is more difficult for you to secure a nice woman, than it is for a lady to find a man to have sex with. You either step up and perform or your left out in the dust This is why if you can't deliver, you're easily replaced, as is very easy for them to find someone who will want to have sex and who may deliver. So you're only option is to basically become a machine, that's what the implant, you're literally an enhanced man who has an advantage over other men.

[bldoink]

That's pretty dark man. Life isn't perfect but it's not that bad. And yes, there are worse things that can happen. The death of a child for starters. I hope you were typing drunk. If not a little therapy is in order.

[pete199]

Totally agree. There is nothing worse mentally it robs you of your confidence and self esteem. I have gone to a very dark place on this journey and still fighting to get better after over a decade. It sucks.

Also agree on the comments about women. I’d say most (possibly not all but most likely) they don’t care about men and will happily cheat / dump / throw you under the bus if you happen to have the disastrous health issue which is ED. I thought that by being respectful, looking after my health and dressing well, taking on good dates would be enough. Unfortunately I have learned the hard way about female nature and how they operate. Absolutely ruthless and will drop you like nothing for the next man without a second thought. This has been exacerbated through the (perceived) unlimited options of online dating, to a degree.

At least we learn through this nightmare that they don’t actually give a fuck about us and are probably incapable of loving a man beyond what he provides (sex, money, status etc)

Waiting for someone to come along and tell me I’m wrong and they’re not all like that. Unfortunately my experience and reality dictates otherwise. I gave up after being replaced 4 times in a row, I couldn’t take it anymore. Even now I have women staring at me everywhere I go and I just have to ignore them and go about my business as despite my ED I refuse to be treated like a worthless piece of garbage.

[Spontaneous1]

Ruffian, yes ED definitely sucks, but I don't think putting all women in your category is a fair assessment. There are women who suffer along the same lines as a man with ED, and they would love to have a man stick around to see their other qualities. They may feel inadequate, not sexy enough, not pretty enough, their breasts are too small or too big, they're too heavy or too skinny, or they just don't fit in. Then there are those who have trouble reaching orgasm, and some that never have, not even on their own! They're underappreciated because they're not the life of the party (wallflowers), or teases when they are. I'm betting they feel just as worthless when a guy insinuates that they just lay there, or don't do "things" other girls do, just as much as a guy with ED does when he can't perform.

When you say they have all the power, you're wrong! I have ED, but I have a great wife I wouldn't trade for the world. We don't hold power over each other, even given our sexual circumstances, it's just life, "nothings perfect"! She's understanding, we communicate, try different things, and move on.

It sounds like you definitely haven't met the right woman yet, and I hope you do, but you really need to change your attitude.

[Txagq8]

Maybe I am just screwed up in my way of thinking, but I can think of lots of things worse than ED.

I have a tendency to compartmentalize. Sex and love aren’t the same thing. Yeah, they overlap. But they’re quite different. There’s no shortage of sexless marriages where both parties are more-or-less content. Marriages without love are doomed. A couple who marries primarily for sex will likely be disappointed at some time, possibly with great frequency. A marriage where you have unconditional love will weather most storms.

What’s worse than ED? Let’s start with penile cancer requiring amputation. Having an IED blow your balls, dick, and nerves to smithereens in a war. Burying a child. The inability to provide for your family.

I got officially diagnosed with ED and went on shots in the mid 1980s, not long after the book “The Potent Male” came out. At the time there was great hope that they’d perfect vascular surgery, something called a crural tuck…coupled with venous ligation. I got a big work up done at the University of Kansas med school around 1999-2000. They dropped the bomb on me, telling me the surgeries were a bust, and what I had to look forward to were shots, pills, implant. I was pretty depressed but my wife kicked me in the ass and reminded me how lucky she was to have me as her husband.

ED is an obstacle, nothing more. Sure, I wish I hadn’t had to deal with it. But I refused to let it define me. My 7 incher made me no less if a man than some hung dude with 9. The fact I had to fight impotence didn’t define my manliness either.

I consider James Brown to be the hardest working man in show business and now, at age 68 with my LGX, I am truly like his song “Sex Machine.”

Bottom line: life is not always fair. Nor is it always easy. But it is always worthwhile. You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometime, you’ll find, you get what you need.

[Never_Enough]

Maybe I am just screwed up in my way of thinking, but I can think of lots of things worse than ED.

I have a tendency to compartmentalize. Sex and love aren’t the same thing. Yeah, they overlap. But they’re quite different. There’s no shortage of sexless marriages where both parties are more-or-less content. Marriages without love are doomed. A couple who marries primarily for sex will likely be disappointed at some time, possibly with great frequency. A marriage where you have unconditional love will weather most storms.

What’s worse than ED? Let’s start with penile cancer requiring amputation. Having an IED blow your balls, dick, and nerves to smithereens in a war. Burying a child. The inability to provide for your family.

I got officially diagnosed with ED and went on shots in the mid 1980s, not long after the book “The Potent Male” came out. At the time there was great hope that they’d perfect vascular surgery, something called a crural tuck…coupled with venous ligation. I got a big work up done at the University of Kansas med school around 1999-2000. They dropped the bomb on me, telling me the surgeries were a bust, and what I had to look forward to were shots, pills, implant. I was pretty depressed but my wife kicked me in the ass and reminded me how lucky she was to have me as her husband.

ED is an obstacle, nothing more. Sure, I wish I hadn’t had to deal with it. But I refused to let it define me. My 7 incher made me no less if a man than some hung dude with 9. The fact I had to fight impotence didn’t define my manliness either.

I consider James Brown to be the hardest working man in show business and now, at age 68 with my LGX, I am truly like his song “Sex Machine.”

Bottom line: life is not always fair. Nor is it always easy. But it is always worthwhile. You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometime, you’ll find, you get what you need.

Your 7 incher made you no less of a man?

Given you were already in the top 10% and hung then no doubt

[Flavio]

I totally agree with Rufian, the pressure is all on the males. Over the years I've matured and learned to deal with it, sex is not the most important thing in life. My 20s were pathetic because I worried too much.

[Flounder]

ED can certainly rock a man’s confidence in the bedroom but it doesn’t need to define you as a total man.

* Rumination is far worse than the physical limitations of ED.
*A mental disorder, similar to OCD, involves repetitive thinking or dwelling on negative feelings and distress and their causes and consequences.

I suggest you spend some time volunteering at a children’s hospital or a cancer treatment center and you’ll find out real quick there are many people dealing with far worse conditions than ED.

As for your battle with women and the dating scene; it’s true they can fake orgasms and take the passive role easier than men. But keep in mind, many of them are dealing with their own insecurities and problems too. If a girl is just laying there expecting you to put forth all the effort with sex, believe me, you’re lucky if she moves on.

Rufian, I’ve read some of your other posts. I think your real problem is being stuck in your situation by not taking action to fix your ED. And in your own words from another post;
the main reason is MONEY $$$

I’m sorry you don’t have insurance or financial resources to book the appointment today. But you can set a goal and develop an action plan to start working towards that goal today. Maybe it’s additional skills training to get a better job with benefits. Maybe it’s a second job and saving all that money towards your goal. Only you can pick the right path to make it happen for yourself.

[NotDoneYet!]

Ruf, being a bit rough. Man, we all sympathize with your problems, but start off by looking in the mirror and giving yourself a little assessment. Instead of whining, ask why women are disappointed in you. The right partner embraces the other, accepts the other, even when times are not “hard”. Me and my closest buddy both went through the post prostatectomy ED. Yeah, it can be frustrating, but our wives are heroes to us. They get it even when they dont “get it”. Life is a journey with challenges. How we face them matters most. Good luck, keep talking to others, consider a counselor if your thoughts remain dark, there are great resources out there.

RRP june 2023, 66 , healthy, happy.
On the road to full giddy up but it takes time

[indeed]

I have to agree with OP. I had an extremely solid mind before this. Always felt like as long as i have my healthy body, i can handle every problem. Life can be rough.
The implant is good but comes with it's own set of problems and worries. We'll have to live with that and make the best out of it.