Postby CTR5000 » Sun Feb 25, 2018 3:10 am
Dared, I'm (going to try) not to lecture. With all the lectures that folks gave me over the years, I'd be a hypocrite to do the same to you. Plus, there's no way I could offer any better words and experience than the rest of the gang has already given in their responses. But I'll simply add a glimpse into my life:
My husband (Jim) and I quit smoking 10 years ago. I was 53 then, and he was 49. These days I feel as if I'm more caregiver to Jim than spouse. What he lives with today isn't due to lung cancer but may as well be. Each week his condition worsens, following its natural course of progression.
In 2008, a chemo drug to treat Hodgkin's Lymphoma ended up destroying his lungs. Two and a half years ago, I found him on the living room floor at 6:00 AM one morning. His blood pressure was at 50/30; his pulse oxygen level was at only 50%. Within hours, he was put into a drug-induced coma and onto a ventilator for the next 14 days. I never knew if I'd see him after that but almost miraculously he did come off it.
Since that hospital discharge, Jim's been on Oxygen 24/7, and the amount is increased every few months. His condition is like the stock market: ups and downs; "okay" days but way more bad days. He's 59 now and doesn't expect to see 60. The tail end of 2017 was 5 admissions within just 10 weeks. His last discharge was the eve of New Years Eve. No price can be put on living like this and money is the least of his or my thoughts in the whole ordeal. But just the same, the summary of just the last 3 of those 5 hospital stays amounted to $300,000. The past week, most nights sound as if Jim is drowning and gasping to compensate for the buildup of fluid. Had I heard him like this a year ago, I would have had him to the ER by now. But living through so many episodes, I know to wait. Yet I'm constantly watching and listening for the signs that it is indeed another run to the ER.
I cringe to think what Jim's life would be if he actually did have lung cancer.
All I can say to you, Dared, is PLEASE don't smoke. I totally understand the desire and feeling of "somewhat relief" having a cigarette in hand when going through a crisis. Years before I ever met Jim, I went through 16 years of major depression. It turned out to be due to a pituitary tumor, (aka: Cushing's Disease) finally getting 7-hour-long microsurgery to remove it at the end of those 16 years.
If what you're going through is depression and/or anxiety related, seek help for that, please. Even if smoking wasn't at the heart of this discussion, I'd be asking you to do that.
We all care, Dared... we're sincerely concerned for you ~
Colin