How farm standard erection should be?

[Ali Abdul]

Hello,
I am 36 years old straight male and married for 6 years. Recently my wife has told me that she thinks that i got ED. She told that she thinks that i am not hard enough during sex. I am the first man in her life. So she didnt knew how a farm erection feels like. But as she did not experience orgasm most of the time she went over intetnet to learn about this issue and then reached the conclusion that i have ED. During sex i also feels that my farmness gradually reduces but i can yet penetrate and ejaculate. Lately i went through internet and found that it might be caused my porn addiction.
Can u guys suggest me that how much hardness is normal during sex? Once i am watching porn i can become rock hard and keep the hardness. But once i am with my wife it requires lot of effort but most of the time not rock hard. Yet i can comfortably penetrate and cum.

[ftwabeck3533]

Watch this video and I think you'll conclude that your system is intact, yet your brain may not be firing the right signals while you are having sex with your wife. Good luck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33m9pN_vAI4

[bldoink]

Hi, and welcome to the forum.

Well the porn addiction can't be good and helps nothing. You might want to address that.

Many guys that just need a little boost have found that the "right" novelty/sex shop cock ring can do the trick. Don't wear one that's too tight or you will then have limitations on how long you can wear it or risk damage to your dick. What's the "right" sex shop/novelty cock ring? Well, you'll have to experiment to find out. I'm currently using the PerfectFit PlayZone set which can be found on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Perfect-Fit-Rings-Sturdy-Storage/dp/B01J84E5OK . I'm sure they can also be found elsewhere. I like this set for the size options you get plus I like silicone rings. Other members that use rings use different options. All are legit options if it works for you. I wear one around my shaft behind the boys. I put it on before I'm fully erect. It can be removed without much difficulty when erect, especially if lube is involved.

There may be other stuff you might want to try to up the excitement level. Try adding some toys to the mix. Upping the kink factor a bit might give you that extra excitement you get from the porn. Make sure to include the wife in this to up her excitement too and to make sure you don't weird her out too much. Outfits for her could be fun.

I could go on but I don't think you solicited this type of response so I'll quit.

[Lost Sheep]

Hello,
I am 36 years old straight male and married for 6 years. Recently my wife has told me that she thinks that i got ED. She told that she thinks that i am not hard enough during sex. I am the first man in her life. So she didnt knew how a farm erection feels like. But as she did not experience orgasm most of the time she went over intetnet to learn about this issue and then reached the conclusion that i have ED. During sex i also feels that my farmness gradually reduces but i can yet penetrate and ejaculate. Lately i went through internet and found that it might be caused my porn addiction.
Can u guys suggest me that how much hardness is normal during sex? Once i am watching porn i can become rock hard and keep the hardness. But once i am with my wife it requires lot of effort but most of the time not rock hard. Yet i can comfortably penetrate and cum.

The fact that your wife went to the trouble to research an issue that she feels is worth the effort tells you several things which are VERY important to your marriage's happiness.

She feels something is lacking in the sex department.

She wants to continue having sex with you.

She told you this, which means she trusts you to "man up" and fix whatever issue there is. If it is in her imagination or faulty interpretation of what she found in her research or a real problem, either way you two will be better off to communicate about it.

The fact that you lose firmness during coitus with your wife (and more loss than during masturbation and porn) suggests that bldoink's post is good advice to heed.

I want to ask you (please forgive me if this type of sexual activity is in opposition to your value system) if your wife orgasms regularly and if she does not, what measures you are taking (or are willing to take) to ensure she is sexually satisfied? Up to and including cunnilingus, sex toys, manual stimulation, extended foreplay, extended afterplay (cuddling, etc)? I found, as my ED progressed, that satisfying my lover(s) does not really require a working penis every time. Attending to your wife's sexual needs goes a LONG way to keeping a marriage happy and intact in ways that extend far beyond the sexual arena.