Bionic male sex drive mismatches with the sex partner

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.
TANGERINE
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Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2017 11:10 pm

Bionic male sex drive mismatches with the sex partner

Postby TANGERINE » Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:50 pm

I have heard a few complaints on this board regarding the issue of the bionic male, who has gone through the turmoil and risk of implant surgery, only to find out that there is now a big difference libido with his partner.

Men with ED can be fully cured, and they can regain the bedroom prowess of a teenager. If you combine that with testostorone treatments, we lucky bionics can have the sex drive and desire of a raging young 18 year old stud.

Alas, the wife or significant other might not have an interest in rising to that level of sex frequency and intensity. Also, there might be pain issues with vagina dryness in older women. Some on this board have mentioned that it is "not fair for us to expect our partners to suddenly transform into sex kittens" especially after they have sufferred through years of ED disappointments and drama.

Here are the solutions to mismatched sex enjoyment that I have so far learned from this board:

1) If sex hurts, do not pump all the way up -- keep it softer. (remember, you are in total control of your penis)

2) consider using "DHA" 50 mg over the counter (mentioned by Franktalk member "Shaman"):
SHAMAN writes: My wife is 62 years old, 6 years ago I went with her to visit the OBYN, who happens to be kosher, I mentioned that my wife was alway dry with no sex drive. He suggested OTC “DHA” 50mg, I thought what a lot of crap. The thing worked, my wife has passed the information to a couple of co-workers, who have thank her for saving the marriage. It did work.
The question is if she willing to try it for more 3 weeks.
I hope she does, it is a bummer when your partner is not in the same boat.
Good luck
Shaman


3) consider getting your partner to take the medication "Addyi"
Below is the write-up from MayoClinic:
Flibanserin (Addyi)

MayoClinic web site writes: Originally developed as an antidepressant, Flibanserin (Addyi) is a prescription medication approved by the Food and Drug Administration as a treatment for low sexual desire in premenopausal women.

A daily pill, Addyi may boost sex drive in women who experience low sexual desire and who find the experience distressing. Potentially serious side effects include low blood pressure, dizziness and fainting, particularly if the drug is mixed with alcohol. Experts recommend that you stop taking the drug if you don't notice an improvement in your sex drive after eight weeks.

source: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/low-sex-drive-in-women/basics/treatment/con-20033229

4) consider putting yourself on a sex schedule --- it at least manages expectations.

5) consider the alternative medicine message oil named "Zestra""
MayoClinic states:
Another alternative medicine product — a botanical massage oil called Zestra — is applied to the clitoris, labia and vagina. One small study found that Zestra increased arousal and pleasure when compared with a placebo oil. The only side effect was mild burning in the genital region. Zestra is not a good option for women with vaginal dryness or sensitive vaginal tissues.



My thinking was that once I was "fixed" we would be having sex all the time and everywhere. That did not happen, so this is something that bionics need to understand both before surgery and after surgery.

I am certain this problem of mismatched sex desire is everywhere, so any ideas or shared experiences from you brothers would be useful.

please write with your thoughts --- TANGERINE
"Strive to find the best surgeon--experience really matters"
(63 yo, Titan 22cm implant Feb 2017 by Dr Eid) I'm super pleased with my length/girth/implant performance. See my story at "The road to becoming a bionic male: Answers ..."

Smetro
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Location: Australia

Re: Bionic male sex drive mismatches with the sex partner

Postby Smetro » Thu Aug 31, 2017 7:35 am

Really positive step is to ask your significant other if she would help you to be a better lover...because you have discovered that there is more to sex than "sticking it in".
If she is responsive to this ask if she would attend couples counselling for developing greater intamacy, loving and sexuality.
Then commit to becoming much, much more than you have ever been.....develop better technique, learn to appreciate what turns your partner on....give her a chance to discover/re-discover her sexual self.
Quite plainly if you play the game as if it's all about your cock, you aren't going to get much sympathy or sex. After all, if she has stuck with you through all the drama of ED etc you have probably used up a lot of love, care and sympathy.......time to pay it back......love first, sex second.
Be patient and don't let your cock rule your head. Learn to love your girl like you just met her
68,Titan Touch 22cm+1.5cm rte's op done in Melbourne Aust by Dr Chris Love-Feb 2017 Venous leakage over a 2 year period, did pills and Caverject. Length@ 3 1/2years is: 7+” erect, 6.5” flaccid and almost 6” girth. REZUM Feb 21 ejaculation now normal.

David_R
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Joined: Mon Nov 02, 2015 1:03 pm

Re: Bionic male sex drive mismatches with the sex partner

Postby David_R » Thu Aug 31, 2017 7:42 am

TANGERINE wrote:If sex hurts, do not pump all the way up -- keep it softer.

Depending on what "hurts" means, you and your partner could try using some lube. I know that vaginal (or anal, I would assume) intercourse is uncomfortable to the point of hurting if there is not enough lubrication (and the amount of natural lubricantion in women decreases as they age). Just a thought.

Cigar56
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Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2014 10:56 am

Re: Bionic male sex drive mismatches with the sex partner

Postby Cigar56 » Thu Aug 31, 2017 8:00 am

Good topic. This is an important consideration that is not often discussed. Whatever a woman's natural sex drive is now -- it will be the same after the implant. After all, the implant changes you, not her. There is always the chance that she may have been suppressing her drive because of hubby's ED. But if that is not the case, she will remain sexually who she was. That can cause huge problems when hubby becomes bionic and can have sex up to several times a day.

Some guys who are newly implanted may have to supplement sex with their wives by using sex toys, such as the Fleshlight, or simple masturbation by hand. It's still sex. Other men supplement with visits to sex workers. I am not condoning that activity but it happens.

I am considering an implant although I am the high-drive person in my marriage. The wife can go months without it. But she is supportive of the implant "if that is what you want to do" -- but I don't expect her sex drive to change. I would not expect our frequency to improve to more than once a week, with the occasional binge activity on vacations and getaways. But I could live with that. Great sessions every Saturday night and multiples during getaways would be cool. In between there's always the usual self-service options.

All I'm saying is that the implant isn't going to turn your wife into a raging sex kitten, and it is something every man needs to consider before having the procedure.
I've tried everything -- pills, injections pumps -- and now I am at the final frontier.

radioradio
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Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2016 2:44 pm
Location: Philly Burbs

Re: Bionic male sex drive mismatches with the sex partner

Postby radioradio » Thu Aug 31, 2017 8:58 am

Cigar56 wrote:Good topic. This is an important consideration that is not often discussed. Whatever a woman's natural sex drive is now -- it will be the same after the implant. After all, the implant changes you, not her. There is always the chance that she may have been suppressing her drive because of hubby's ED. But if that is not the case, she will remain sexually who she was. That can cause huge problems when hubby becomes bionic and can have sex up to several times a day.

Some guys who are newly implanted may have to supplement sex with their wives by using sex toys, such as the Fleshlight, or simple masturbation by hand. It's still sex. Other men supplement with visits to sex workers. I am not condoning that activity but it happens.

I am considering an implant although I am the high-drive person in my marriage. The wife can go months without it. But she is supportive of the implant "if that is what you want to do" -- but I don't expect her sex drive to change. I would not expect our frequency to improve to more than once a week, with the occasional binge activity on vacations and getaways. But I could live with that. Great sessions every Saturday night and multiples during getaways would be cool. In between there's always the usual self-service options.

All I'm saying is that the implant isn't going to turn your wife into a raging sex kitten, and it is something every man needs to consider before having the procedure.

Great post. Well said.
Born '52. Married '79. RALP 3/1/17. ED 50+% prior to surgery even w/ meds. VED, Injections, ineffective. Considering implant even before PCa diagnosis. Dr. Kramer 8/2/17. LGX 21cm+0.5 RTE. Kramer replaced/repositioned pump 12/13/17. Willing to Show/Tell.

Donnie1954
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Re: Bionic male sex drive mismatches with the sex partner

Postby Donnie1954 » Thu Aug 31, 2017 9:32 am

When your bionic the conversation changes from, 'Again? Tonight? to AGAIN TONIGHT! Yes, I am that good!
Donnie
Implant AMS 700 CX, MS (18cm x 12mm with 5.5cm RTEs) on 10\4\16. 64 Dr. Edward Kata of Orlando. Awesome surgeon. Check out, 'DD Bryan. My implant journey, Wit and Wisdom, Stretching routine, Implant Pics, Natural Hang. Live in Ga.
.

radioradio
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Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2016 2:44 pm
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Re: Bionic male sex drive mismatches with the sex partner

Postby radioradio » Thu Aug 31, 2017 9:57 am

ddbryan1972 wrote:When your bionic the conversation changes from, 'Again? Tonight? to AGAIN TONIGHT! Yes, I am that good!
Donnie

Donnie,
Not to get too personal (as if that's possible on FT), but was your wife into AGAIN TONIGHT prior to your ED? Is this completely new since you've become Bionic, or is she back now to a prior state?

I've never heard it in capital letters. Maybe italics, but never CAPS! :lol:

Bob 2.1
Born '52. Married '79. RALP 3/1/17. ED 50+% prior to surgery even w/ meds. VED, Injections, ineffective. Considering implant even before PCa diagnosis. Dr. Kramer 8/2/17. LGX 21cm+0.5 RTE. Kramer replaced/repositioned pump 12/13/17. Willing to Show/Tell.

Donnie1954
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Re: Bionic male sex drive mismatches with the sex partner

Postby Donnie1954 » Thu Aug 31, 2017 10:24 am

Bob,
Prior to implant we tried pills, shots (she did it) and when nothing worked anymore a VED. It made my dick as hard as a balloon rock and she hated it. Also when your making love and she needs more but you can't do it, it gets frustrating to her. Now she knows everytime we have sex it will be incredible. She would fuck twice a day if I had the stamina I had when I was 18. Prior to my ED she had a good sex drive but nothing like now. Before we go to bed it's, "aren't we going to make love tonight?"
Donnie
Implant AMS 700 CX, MS (18cm x 12mm with 5.5cm RTEs) on 10\4\16. 64 Dr. Edward Kata of Orlando. Awesome surgeon. Check out, 'DD Bryan. My implant journey, Wit and Wisdom, Stretching routine, Implant Pics, Natural Hang. Live in Ga.
.

Zxylpk
Posts: 156
Joined: Mon Apr 17, 2017 12:58 am

Re: Bionic male sex drive mismatches with the sex partner

Postby Zxylpk » Thu Aug 31, 2017 10:32 am

Smetro wrote
Then commit to becoming much, much more than you have ever been.....develop better technique, learn to appreciate what turns your partner on....give her a chance to discover/re-discover her sexual self.
Quite plainly if you play the game as if it's all about your cock, you aren't going to get much sympathy or sex. After all, if she has stuck with you through all the drama of ED etc you have probably used up a lot of love, care and sympathy.......time to pay it back......love first, sex second.
Be patient and don't let your cock rule your head. Learn to love your girl like you just met her[i]
[/i]


Well said! Universal fact: men like sex, women like foreplay. Foreplay includes: Complimenting her on something every day. Taking her to dinner. Enjoying a sunset. Treating her like you just met her. Make her feel loved, desired and special - it's probably been awhile. She'll melt.
74 y/o Implant 21cm, 1cm rte ams 700 CX, Feb 21, 2017, Dr. Karpman, Mt View, CA

Donnie1954
Posts: 2518
Joined: Wed Feb 19, 2014 9:04 pm
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Re: Bionic male sex drive mismatches with the sex partner

Postby Donnie1954 » Thu Aug 31, 2017 11:21 am

Well said dude,
I would add:
Tell her she's beautiful.
Massage her feet and paint her toe nails.
Tell her how glad you are that she's yours.
Do the dishes and the laundry.
Kiss her often.
Take time to ask her about her day.
Watch a movie together.
Remind her you're her's anytime.
After all you are bionic!
If you want her to treat you, and bed you, like a King.
Treat her like a Queen!
Donnie
Last edited by Donnie1954 on Thu Aug 31, 2017 11:28 am, edited 1 time in total.
Implant AMS 700 CX, MS (18cm x 12mm with 5.5cm RTEs) on 10\4\16. 64 Dr. Edward Kata of Orlando. Awesome surgeon. Check out, 'DD Bryan. My implant journey, Wit and Wisdom, Stretching routine, Implant Pics, Natural Hang. Live in Ga.
.


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