Rider1400 wrote:Do I wish I had done it sooner???.. NO!!! Did I wait as long as I should have???? Yes!!! You need to be completely committed to getting it done before having it done. It helps with recovery and every other aspect to make up your mind totally that it’s what you want,...
(Sorry for the late response, didn't check the forum last week)
Great reply. Thanks! I think we think alike. Let me illustrate this with personal story from the last months. In my quest for the $1,000,000 answer (IPP yes/no?), after having read tens or hundreds of personal stories and having studied all (?) possible relevant scientific articles, in addition, I emerged in almost daily sexual contact with different women.
The encounters were pleasurable, but never as good "as it could have been". Regardless of the woman's attractiveness or the kinky activities we engaged in, the problem persisted. In longer term relationships the problem persisted as well: i.e. the (logical) performance anxiety that arises in any man with E.D., appears to play only a modest role.
Of greater negative impact in my case, I think, is the inability to fully relax and surrender to sensory stimuli, as in the back of my mind there is always that little voice: "Is it hard enough?" Actually, during sex (whether it is a BJ, penetrative sex, or any other act) I continually feel the need to touch my dick to check the hardness. However, I do not consider this “performance anxiety” as I actually expect suboptimal performance, which takes away the anxiety that it may occur. Moreover, even in the most relaxed sexual encounters (or during solo sex), erections are never what they should be.
In my quest, I also experimented with drugs. The last time I had taken drugs was about 15 years ago, so this is not something I do normally (alcohol's effect as aphrodisiac and relaxant, I - as most - was already familiar with, and do not take into account here). The drug with the greatest positive effect on the sexual act, I found out, was MDMA (‘ecstasy’); I think exactly because it increased the ability to fully relax and surrender to sensory stimuli. Although the quality of the erection remained greatly equal when on MDMA, I - at least - was able to enjoy sex more, and not focus on what was not going well, but in reverse, on the positive sensations (for example, a partner’s horny look during sex got me much more excited than it would normally do).
This ‘N=1 experiment’ has not finished yet, but I think it safe to say that - under whatever condition - I will never experience a fully functioning dick. Thus, as stated before, the question now is if I want to take the plunge and trade what I enjoy now, for a better erection (and possibly greater sexual joy, and all other life’s aspects that may come with a better erection), but brings also the risk that sexual performance will not be (greatly) improved or even declined, combined with the disadvantages of having an IPP (surgery, possible discomfort, loss of sensation, inflation embarrassment, etc.).
26cm Titan (no RTE), Dr. van Renterghem (Belgium), October 2023.