27 and defeated

[Anonymous1smile]

Hi guys.. I originally posted this in the implant section because I'm trying to figure out how I can get one.
I never wanted to consider an implant but I'm at my witts end. I'm literally watching my dick shrivel away.
Just looking at it makes me feel inadequate and less of a man. I'm not the same guy I used to be.
This can't be it.. Made it to 27 just to live the rest of my life with a laughable size. I worry I'll never be able to fully satisfy a woman like before or build a true connection. I'll always be thinking someone else was able to satisfy her more. Because we can talk about love, bond/connection, foreplay. but facts are facts. size is size.
Men lie, women lie, numbers don't

Anyway heres my original post:

Whats up guys. Recently stumbled upon this community because of my current issue. Made a throwaway account for anonymity. Im a 27M who has a venous leak and it's ruining my life. I've become very depressed and have suicidal thoughts quite often. The only thing stopping me is that I'm not a selfish person and I realize the traumatic impact that would have on my family. Not here to look for pity or sympathy but hoping at least one person in here has experience with a similar situation.

I was very sexually active since my teens and had many partners, never had an issue with erections. Then around 25 I had multiple tragic events happen in my life and felt like I needed help. I spoke to a psychiatrist who got me on anti depressants. Like most people I experienced some sexual sides and difficulty maintaining an erection. I quit the anti depressants and got prescribed viagra which led me down a slippery slope. I'm not sure if I actually needed the viagra at a certain point or if i developed a mental dependency.

Anyway, I took viagra way more than I should for around a year and then it no longer worked. I saw multiple urologists and no solution. I tried everything, daily cialis and viagra. Overtime my erection strength kept dropping 70% -> 50% -> 25% until I could no longer maintain an erection. My urologist was convinced it was mostly mental but after me swearing up and down he had me do a doppler exam. Then came probably the worst day of my life, the doctor confirming I had a venous leak and that I would need a penile implant at just age 26!

My gf of 2 years ended up cheating on me (I'm guessing for sexual satisfaction) and I truly can't blame her but still had to break up with her. BTW I'm located in a big city known for modeling (NYC/LA) and a few months after my breakup I met a famous european super model. We hit it off and started dating but I could never get the job done. I even tried trimix injections. I used to be in my bathroom injecting my dick with a needle as I had naked supermodel in my bed. It got so bad I even said "fuck it" and doubled and tripled the recommended dose for the trimix to only get a 25% erection and fail after a few minutes. I had to break things off with the supermodel on my own because I could not keep going through the failures. Funny enough she begged me not to break up with her and somehow was convinced that I was not attracted to her. So yeah as if this hasn't been enough of a mind fuck, I'm now beginning to SHRINK. I was never large to begin with but now my life has become a joke.

Originally 6"x4.5". Now I'm about half the size of that. I never measured my dick flaccid because I was always more of a grower but my flaccid dick is a joke now, like 2.5" and a pencil. This is making me extremely depressed and I don't know what to do.

Its gotten so bad that I finally gave in and considered going forward with the surgery but I can't find any reputable surgeons that take my insurance. All reputable surgeons are private or only take blue cross blue shield (which I don't have)

I'm very tight on money and going through some difficult financial times right now so I need to know where to best allocate my funds.

Questions.

I recently got laid off and lost my insurance through my employer

I'm located in NYC. Which "unemploment" health insurance should I apply for?

What should I do? Purchase a vacuum/bathmate type thing? Will PE help?

Has anyone here tried shockwave therapy for blood flow? PRP?

I don't want to lose anymore size before I find a surgeon so Id appreciate any insight you could provide as possible shockwave therapy, vacuums, or PE exercises



Much appreciated

[zyzzsalive]

I'm very sorry you're going through this man. I'm going through the same one year older than you. I became impotent after an injury and just two weeks after becoming impotent three hot-ass girls moved into the apartment in front of mine, in front of my door. I'm good-looking and they gave me mad signals for days. I played dumb and avoided contact with them because I was 100% they would just grab me and hold me hostage in their apartment... since my dick was still hurting like mf so would not be able to even try Viagra because it could make the injury worse.....and it happened I hear clapping sounds and moaning...yes they got their need met by another dude since my unlucky ass hated by god could not fulfill their needs. Crushing...I've gone through a lot of stuff both mental, spiritual, and physical but this is the worst of the worst...way worse than the worst depression you can imagine or way worse than the time I had a bleeding stomach ulcer and could not eat anything. I rather go back to the stomach ulcer and live with it for DECADES than this. I truly believe that if you are a man under 50 and don't have impotency you don't have any problems. I've seen bums have sex while my middle-upper class can't. CANT MAKE THIS SHIT UP
To make matters worse...I only had one girlfriend for 6 years and she had low libido but I truly thought she was the one then she went crazy and started acting just like her mother and we parted ways. At least you were able to use your penis with many partners I did not.

Yes outside of the implant all there is botox, stem cells, and low-intensity shockwave therapy(done with a real machine, not that fake ass shockwave shit)
This forum loves implants but I don't fucking know bro.
As of now I'm just paralyzed, I'm three months into this shit. I've done a lot of research but have no money. Again from what I've seen there are just those three options to help ED.
As long as I stay hidden I don't feel like killing myself but if I go out and see girls walking around or log into ig...that's when the suicidal thoughts kick in. Even worse when girls throw themselves at me and I...just got to run away like a bitch.
I even started to use anti-naturalist thoughts to cope like "People like sex because they want to reproduce, it is an instinct lol" yeah but bro I would love to act out that instinct.
Still, we should not kill ourselves until we run out of options lol God hates us but we should not go out without a fight

[Al1962]

I'm sorry, I'm not young but would be horrified at that age.
A penis can be wonderful thing, or the most crushing joke. I'm 61yrs, not sexually active and have been dealing with ED for 6yrs. First, I understand the size worry. You are not small as you describe. You all do need to make a consistent effort to maintain size as much as possible in case you do get an implant. The sub forum (pumps) here, has much information about VED usage and several very knowledgeable members hang, lol, out there.
Good luck. Keep talking and asking.

[jackhammerdreamz]

Shit, I just spilled water on my couch and it went down my crack just as I was about to write this

Life is full of incredibly tragic ups and downs, don't end the rollercoaster early there are so many highs left to experience. We are more valuable to others than we'll ever know while we walk this earth.
I truly hope you stay with us and continue to bring joy to those you might not even realize you bring joy to.
People care about each other. That's one reason this awesome site exists.
I don't have to know you, to know that you matter!

27 is a brutal age to hit these road bumps, but I was in a very similar place.
Gorgeous gorgeous woman on the couch, I was pretty much ready to go, but then in the moments it took to get undressed and unwrap a condom, my dick abandoned me.
Panic and frustration and she said it was fine and we didn't have sex. That shifted our friendship from the direction it was going (towards a relationship) to her finding another guy and leaving me in the cold... It happens, her loss, she sucks and got knocked up by some loser who left her. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but we are more than just our dicks.
Dating someone, even if you have sex a lot, the sex is not the majority of the relationship.

Anyway, that was at like 21 or 22 years old... I focused on school, family, friendships and kept sex out of my head for a few years. I bought generic ED pills off sketchy sites and those helped somewhat and kept me hanging on for something better. Fast forward to my 30's and I ran out of options. Sex with my girlfriend at the time became embarrassing and upsetting cuz I would lose my erection mid intercourse and she was so mentally messed up she couldn't cum without intercourse. (run if you meet one of those women, they're the truly broken one lol)
Trust me I know how it feels... Every time you see a sex scene in a movie you get anxious and nervous cuz you think about how you can't do that... it truly fucks with our head.

Ultimately my only solution was an inflateable implant, but I know that is an extreme as well as an expensive procedure.
I would suggest focusing on life outside of sex. Wait til you do secure a job and it's likely their insurance will cover the implant.
If you have any female friends I would confide in one or two that you trust with this delicate information.

I have been candid about my past issues and some women (certainly not all) are understanding and also realize that there's more than just a penis for sex. Get good at eating pussy, or how to make a girl cum with toys, fingers, mouth etc and honestly a woman that enjoys your company won't even care about a lack of penis performance. That is certainly a vulnerable thing to bring up so I would stick to trusted friends.

I would also consider talking to a psychologist again if or once you can afford it, they may be able to help with thought exercises to keep you from spiraling or fixating on the problems and focus more on the things that are going well or that you have the power to control in the present.

Sending you good vibes man, if you have any questions feel free to DM me