Reflections One Year after Implant from Dr. Clavell

[JackfromWA]

A little over a year ago (November, 2024) I had implant surgery performed by Dr. Jonathan Clavell in Houston. For several years I researched implants and decided that the three best surgeons for me were Dr. Eid, Dr. Hakky or Dr. Clavell. Dr. Clavell’s responsiveness, costs and his age were the primary reasons I chose him.

One of the facts that emerged from reading many forums, articles and researching is the importance of selecting a high-volume surgeon. My case was further complicated because of Peyronies disease. My insurance doesn’t cover sexual health and though I was told there was a possibility they would pay for the surgery if my Peyronies disease made an implant “medically necessary” this would require an appeal post-surgery. With travel to Houston from Seattle and medical fees my costs were a little under $30,000.

I not only have no regrets, I wish I had done it sooner. There appear to be two main groups of men who get implants. There are men who had penises that worked well for decades and then some event such as a prostatectomy result in erectile dysfunction. The other group is men whose penises never worked reliably due to venous leaks or some other physical problem.

If you are in the first group, meaning you enjoyed a penis that worked well for many years, you will likely never understand the impact of being a man whose dick doesn’t get hard naturally or consistently. My first sexual experience at around 17 was with my high school girlfriend. We made plans to lose our virginity at her house after school and after we undressed she said, “I didn’t know they were that small. Does it ever get hard?” No one lost their virginity that day.

In all fairness I am a 62-year-old gay man with a preference for giving penetrative sex (known as a “top”) so perhaps my rendezvous with her was doomed from the start. I tried other times and while I had more success than the first time, I never successfully ejaculated in anyone and my ability to have penetrative vaginal sex never lasted more than a few minutes before I wasn’t hard enough. I didn’t even try anal sex. For many years I was trying to “be straight” and didn’t embrace my sexuality until I was in my 30s.

I first tried trimix injections in the 90s. They worked to a point, but were both painful (it’s kinda weird to put a needle in your dick) lack spontaneity and often didn’t seem worth the effort. I didn’t have a partner and it’s awkward to inject yourself with someone you don’t know so I finally stopped.

When Viagra came out it sort of worked, but the headaches were terrible for me. Levitra and Cialis didn’t do much. I did have a male partner for eight years. I successfully penetrated him one time and we mostly quit trying.

In my late 50s during Covid, I took stock of my life. I had a lovely family with three adopted adult children, I’m many decades clean and sober of all substances, I’m respected in my community as a leader and I’ve had successful businesses for decades with employees that appreciate me and enjoy financial security. I have a good life! But when I thought about everything I had experienced, the one thing missing was a sex life! I didn’t want to leave this planet without having experienced sex.

I found a young male lover who was very patient with sex. I started trimix again and I could penetrate him sometimes for a few minutes. During this time, I developed Peyronies, likely from the injections and I started researching implants.

In 2022 I started a relationship with a man that I am with today. My partner was wonderful. He enjoyed sex, but didn’t put too much weight on it. “It’s kinda like karaoke,” he said. “It doesn’t have to be great to be fun and if it doesn’t go well today, you can do it another time. It’s just sex.” He enjoys receiving penetrative sex and because of Peyronies I couldn’t do injections or penetrate him. I had some success with Stendra (similar to Viagra but less side-effects and under patent and expensive), but it was always tenuous at best.

While I was afraid of an implant and didn’t want to lose what little short-lived natural erections I had, I finally decided I was going to get an implant and try to change my relationship with erectile dysfunction.

The night before the surgery I found myself crying in a Marriott near the Houston airport. I was so nervous about doing this, but I had made my decision, paid my surgical fees and the surgery was less than 18-hours away. I did what I have learned to do when I am afraid. I went inside myself to what I call my inner world and asked my father and grandparents and other ancestors and friends who have passed on to support me. I tried to have the wise and mature parts of me comfort the scared parts.

The next morning, I took the Uber to the hospital and went forward with the surgery. One thing surprised me. Dr. Clavell said, “With a penis of your size I want to use the Titan XL but because of the Peyronies I’m worried about the girth and might not get the size of cylinders I need. I will do what I can. I also usually prefer the Titan with gay men as you need good rigidity for anal sex.” I never thought I had a large penis, and usually it wasn’t. Fortunately, he didn’t need to use the narrow cylinders. My implant is a 22 cm Titan XL with one RTE (rear tip extender). My erect length is now 6.75” and my girth is 5.25”. I had significant hour glassing and a nasty Peyronies curve. My dick is now straight with no curve or hour glassing. From my perspective, Dr. Clavell is not just a surgeon, he is an artist. He did everything perfectly and my results are amazing.

The first few weeks were hard. The next few months were better but scary. I had my first ejaculation about a month after surgery and everything felt a little different, though the orgasm was in the range of good orgasms I had experienced in the past. To be clear, even though my entire life I couldn’t consistently get hard, I could masturbate and enjoy orgasms. Prior to the surgery, my sex life was basically imagining the sex I’d like to have, masturbate while thinking about that and then bring myself to orgasm. I remember the first six months that my penis “felt” different and the ways I had masturbated my entire life no longer felt the same as I needed to adapt to the implant.

At around three months I had penetrative sex with my partner. It was great! But I was so conditioned to wondering if my dick was hard, I kept looking and thinking about it. My partner laughed, “Don’t worry. It’s working really well.” I had pumped it up all the way and it was incredibly hard. When he performs oral sex, he doesn’t like it fully pumped up as there is no malleability or curve and near 7 inches can be a lot to deep throat when it’s ramrod straight.

The last six months, things have kept getting better. I have learned to integrate pumping and releasing my erections and the implant has become part of our sex life. Likely just like a person with any physical prothesis, I have adapted. The human body and mind are amazing. The implant is simply part of me now.

I believe for men like me who never had a dick that worked that the psychological impact of an implant is significant and life altering. I have lost 90 pounds in the last two years (I was 260 at surgery, I weigh 210 now) and have more attractive clothes and sexier underwear. I am using moisturizer on my skin and I enjoy how I look and feel. For the first time in my life, I see myself as sexually desirable. I walk in a room and I know my dick would work for as long as I want with anyone there. I didn’t expect the implant to encourage some vanity, but it has and I enjoy being 62 and liking how I look and feel.

Last night, my partner and I had penetrative sex and he said, “Hey, can this not last as long as usual?” I often am happy to have sex for an hour, which he likes sometimes, but I’m also learning that ten or fifteen minutes can be fun too. I never imagined having a partner telling me I was hard too long and they were ready for a break!

If I die tomorrow, I feel like I finally experienced sex the way nature intended it. It isn’t perfect and when I couldn’t have sex I built it up in my head as sometimes being better than it usually is, but now that I don’t worry about erections I am free to explore, try new things, and not take it all so seriously. Sex is becoming fun and I am getting comfortable with it.

I am so grateful for the men and women who figured out how to manufacture implants and the surgeons and doctors who assist with receiving them. My care is now at the University of Washington and my urologist is an extraordinary woman who does implant surgery. While I will likely go back to Dr. Clavell when I need a revision, I also trust her. I feel I have extraordinary medical support.

I can’t advise anyone whether they should get an implant. I can only share my experience that it has worked really well for me. I did appeal my denial. I won the appeal seven months ago, but I still am trying to get paid. Our medical system is in dire need of improvement. I’ll likely get about half of the money back that I paid, but even if I never get anything, I was in a position to afford to pay $30,000 and it was more than worth it to me (to be clear, Dr. Clavell’s fees aren’t all of that total. This includes travel and I flew business class to make the flights post-surgery more tolerable and some medically unnecessary, but ascetically desirable procedure I elected to have so my hourglassing was cured. I think his basic implant cost is likely closer to $20,000 than $30,000 for self-pay patients).

What I have discovered a year after receiving an implant is it’s not just about the sex; my outlook has changed. There is something different about being a sexually virile and healthy male that I had never experienced and I am happy that the best sex, and the best I have ever felt about myself physically began at age 61. The implant changed me for the better in ways I never knew it would and I’m hoping to get a few decades of enjoying this.

My advice to anyone considering an implant is do your research, pick the right surgeon for you, trust their recommendations, do all the aftercare and cycling and be PATIENCT with the healing. It WILL get better and I feel that a year post-surgery I am mostly healed and the implant is simply a part of my life that changed my life for the better.

Good luck everyone and thanks for reading.