Sexual life after radical prostate surgery for cancer

[josemaria]

Hi guys,
I joined this forum some months ago to learn everything I could regarding penile implants. I had a radical prostate removal surgery back in July 2020 and have not been able to regain/attain/sustain an erection since then. I am 6o and my wife is 59 right now. Although we both knew the prostate surgery was going to render me impotent, we did not realize how bad is was going to be until after the surgery. Our sexual life is completely absent - she no longer allows me to touch her because she says she does not want to get aroused if I cannot penetrate her. I have tried with Viagra 100mg, vacuum, Trimix injections, and nothing works. Now my urologist have recommended an implant but my wife does not want me to have the surgery because she says it will be too painful and that I will nor survive the surgery. She says the implant surgery will be for pleasure and not a life preserving surgery.
My questions are:
1) How do you guys managed your sexual life between prostate surgery and implant surgery? What worked for you or for both of you?
2) Did you use strap on dildos on your wife or vibrators?
3) My wife is not even allowing me to do oral sex on her - did oral sex was sufficient for your wife until you had the implant?

I will really appreciate any suggestions I can follow until I can convince her to support me to get my implant surgery done.
I understand each and everyone of us is a unique case, but I am running out of options here.
Thanks in advance!

[AST2123]

Hi Josemaria,
I was in the same position before my implant. Nothing worked for me after the Prostate removal. When I finally knew about the implant effectiveness and found Franktalk, I decided to get the implant. My wife was also against it. I knew that she doesn't like surgeries, but there was no other solution. I went ahead and did it, telling her that it is a small hernia surgery. I told her about it about a month after that, as she was skeptic about it. She is now very happy that I did it. I meant to keep her out of it, just to remove that burden on her.
This is just my personal experience. You should understand your wife's concerns, and act accordingly, but you are a perfect candidate for IPP. Your life will turn to a nightmare if you don't get an implant asap.

[josemaria]

Thanks AST2123.
I just wish I could count with her support on this. VA has already performed the cystoscopy procedure and my urologist said everything is ok with my ureter and my bladder. I need her aligned with me so I can recover from the implant surgery, but she keeps on saying sex is no longer a necessity for her.
When I tried Trimix I noticed some degree of Periones disease also at the tip of my penis. It did not get too hard but it was bent at the tip pointing down a little bit and she started saying that it was not going into her like that. It has not been easy, man.
I wanna feel as normal as possible again. We only have one life to live. And when I told her that, she replied: "that is why I don't want you to have an implant surgery!".
I wish I could find another way to please her...

[oldbeek]

My wife was also against the implant. Does she know how the surgery is performed. My wife had a vision of the entire penis being cut open to be installed. I was a psychological mess. The RP surgeon assured me that I may need daily Cialis then proceeded to remove all my nerves. Total ED. I am sure I had PTSD. I wanted to kill someone, so I scheduled an IPP for my own sanity. My wife never went to a single appointment. My son took me to the hospital and back home. My wife did help me during recovery. I say just go for it. My mom passed away several years after dad got his IPP years ago. He never expounded on it but I think quite a few older single ladies enjoyed his new tool. After you get it done your wife may learn to enjoy it as mine did.

[MK1965]

josemaria,
You owe it to your self. You are a man and you need to feel like a man.
Same happened to me after RP surgery. My prostate was removed because of cancer.
I had my RP in November 2016. I was 51 at that time.
Tried everything from Cialis, Viagra, VED, Trimix, Bimix and nothing worked.
I made decision to get IPP. My wife was not of big help and was saying after few years years without sex she does not know if she even want it.
After my first implant. She so me couple of times inflating and one evening she said we could put it to use. And we did. She climaxed 4-5 times and fell asleep on top of me.
She regained some interest in sex so we do it only on weekends.
My RP renders me as total anorgasmia. So no release point of fame but it feels good that I can get hard one. Any questions about implant, recovery and sexual satisfaction after implant are welcome.
MK