When someone backs out

[aslanglobal]

Anyone ever been sure they found the doc, found the time, made the appointment, but a few weeks out, backed out completely? At 36, I've lost a good bit of the best years of my life to ED, at least of that related to dating and sex. That said, the thought of the doing this to me has me revolted inside. Anyone ever deal with this and how did you work through it? Obviously, I don't want them to do this, I don't want that thing inside of me. However, I'm damn sick of being alone and watching my years go by because of this. Anyone else worked through it?

[Mark74]

Im revolted by the idea also, but Im getting more inclined to do it

Its either do it or live the rest of my life with a bent penis that cannot penetrate. I cannot even masturbate in a normal way anymore. I can only masturbate in certain positions or grind my sheets to ejaculation

And my testosterone is good and my sperm in good quality for 47

The biggest hurdle I think is that it isn't so common, so if I do it I feel a little bit like a freak. If it were more common it would be much easier psychologically

[Lost Sheep]

Looking to learn everything I can.

I don't know if you have done this, but when I first joined FrankTalk, I took a couple weekends to read through two and a half years of posts/threads with titles that interested me and appeared informative. I recommend this to you. I also scoured the internet for articles from (legitimate, peer-reviewed) medical journals for information.

Personally, I also recommend doing extensive research as you choose a surgeon and interview him (or her) pointedly and make yourself an integral part of the medical team. (Of course, many men choose not to do that and I cannot fault them - just do what is comfortable for your personality and approach to your medical care.)

Your primary care physician has probably already given you a list of urologists specializing in men's sexual health and function. If not, ask if he or she could do a little research for you. The two U.S. FDA-approved manufacturers also maintain lists of surgeons who use their devices.

Dr. Eid (I communicated with him and Dr. Kramer because they were mentioned so often on FrankTalk, so are the "gold standard" here, though, by no means guaranteed to be the best, but are assured to be 'way up there) advised me once, "Find a surgeon in love with his craft." In that way you know he will put his patients' welfare and outcome above all other considerations. That advice led me to my chosen surgeon. There are plenty of good urological surgeons with deep experience and good skills. Sorting through the ones near to you might be a daunting task, but once you know enough about implants and what you want and expect, you will be equipped to vet them adequately.

My surgeon commented to me (and to his P.A. which I heard back second hand) that I was the most well-informed patient he had ever had. My primary care physician also commented that I knew more about E.D. E.D. treatments and implants than he did. That went a long way towards them accepting me as an integral part of the decision-making process.

Knowledge dispels fear.

[Time2Change]

I agree with Lost Sheep. Getting information helped dispel many of my reservations.

This included me bringing a long list of questions for my doctor at our pre-operation appointment the month before surgery.

By the way, at 36, you still have many years of good sex ahead of you if you want. I'm looking forward to a long time of good sex at 52. There are guys posting on here about getting implants in their 70's, so there is still a ton of time left!

[eisenhower]

aslanglobal, I totally understand where you're coming from. Now battling Peyronie's Disease for the fourth time in my life (started in my 30s, and I just turned 50), I am increasingly thinking an implant may be in my future - if not as the result of this battle, perhaps the next (as I seem to have flares every 5-6 years).

On the one hand, it seems like it would be tremendous relief and a new lease on life to never have to wonder or worry about your penis again. It will be a mechanical process I control at will.

On the other hand, the surgery itself and recovery just scares the hell out of me. As I'm sure it does you. I think that's only natural.

I guess the moral of the story is, if we determine it really is the only solution, then we have to be brave - there's no way around it. You'll have to walk through the fire to get to the other side, which promises so much hope.

Just wanted to share - I think I know exactly what you're feeling.

[Txagq8]

A.Global: sent you a lengthy pm. Please check your inbox.

[Agfa13]

You really struck it with FT. I wish I found FT BEFORE my surgeries!
Lots of info, talk to Dr. ask questions here and Dr.

[ViaSwiss]

It is common to get nervous and question what you are doing before the surgery.

It is also common to realize, after the surgery, that you made the correct decision.

[Gt1956]

Some members decided that they didn't have a working penis at the time. If the surgery was a total bust. They wouldn't be any worse off.
As men, we don't want our organs tinkered with. Almost a primal fear of pain. I can assure you that my circumcision for phimosis caused that fear. The pain & discomfort isn't as bad as your mind is likely making it out to be.
Keep your eyes on the goal of the negative effects of ED that go away after recovery. Sadly, you've likely become accustomed to them because they happen to you slowly so they are diguised as normal.
Reading FT can help you. Perhaps you could ask your doctor to recommend a local therapist that works with people that have surgery anxiety. A trained professional can make a big difference sometimes.
These feelings are normal. You just need to sort thru them with some well founded logic. Best of luck to you.

[traveler]

asianglobal,

I'm in a similar spot where you are right now. My thoughts are my experience so far....

Can't comment on life after implant, not there yet. But I have been in the spot your in now, (still there actually), I have decided to proceed, largely due to the wealth of information I've gleaned from the many men that have traveled this journey and have so graciously shared on this site. My ED was not gradual, happened in an instant due to prostate cancer in 2018 and subsequent prostatectomy followed up by 8-weeks radiation treatments in 2019. So first off, I'm thankful to still be here typing this. Early on I never gave a thought to an implant thinking that was a "weird" procedure that other guys had done. But the reality of ED set in quickly and all the baggage that comes with it. For me, the meds were virtually no help, VED pump works most of the time but is a totally new experience. It's better than nothing but is a strange new twist to intimacy with my wife of 46 years. I'm not trying injections due to not wanting to experience the long term effects from that. And not willing to shoot up into my penis. So I have decided to pursue the implant.

I made the first step last year by seeing my local urologist that "specializes" in implants but does nowhere near the volume that the heavy hitters in this field do. Unfortunately my insurance at that time did not cover this procedure so I had to wait until I went on Medicare this year. Looking back this was actually a blessing because it gave me time to look deeper into this option. I have narrowed down my choices for surgeons to Levine in Chicago or Eid in New York. I'll be talking to both of them later this month and making a decision. It was a relief to finally say I'm going forward with this, although still scary as your experiencing now. I see that your 36 yrs old, you have a long road ahead of dealing with ED. I am 65 and I don't want to go another day without intimacy and dealing with this. I have done my research and based on all I've read and heard the procedure is worth the risk for me.

Each guy has to come to that decision for himself, no one else can or should make that decision for you. My biggest concern was/is finding the right surgeon. Early on I said there was no way I would travel to New York, (1,200 miles), for a surgery, it sounds insane, but after hearing some of the horror stories from local guys I've gotten past that. Every guy that has posted their journey on here describes virtually the same scenario, right up to laying on the gurney prepped for surgery thinking, "what the hell have I gotten myself into?" But, every single guy has been glad they proceeded and life on the other side of getting an implant is amazing. That's the storyline I'm working toward. Take as much time as you need, research, research, research and most important pick the most experienced surgeon you can find, make your decision and move on.

Best of luck.