needhelp wrote:I'd like to get some feed from the single guys OR the married guys who have gone through this. I never had ED up till 8 months ago. I had a crazy sexual chemistry with this girl I was dating for a year. Loved her. From an accident we had I now have ED. We got back together and then realized, what use to be an exciting crazy sexy nights was now a sad embarrassing, humiliating situation. I now went FROM the guy who was the BEST she ever had in bed to the WORSE. As of a couple weeks ago she was not returning my text. I text her asking if she would be willing to help me with transportation to and from the hospital when I book the surgery, because nobody knows of this. I get a text back saying "I've met someone" and you know the rest of the story. We always had this agreement neither one of us would ever tell the other if we were seeing someone after we broke up because of the pain it would cause. Well it destroyed me at a very very bad time in my life. I know she is now enjoying a hard dick like the one I use to give her. I never wanted that image in my brain....no guy does and now its there, and it keeps replaying and replaying. Every time we broke up I would start trying to date on some site's. The best way to get over someone is to start dating again and met another girl (or partner) and restart that sexual foreplay all over again. Well we know that's not going to happen with ED. So I'm sitting here thinking, should I date again (now) or wait? Well, if I wait it could take a couple months to figure out IF my insurance will pay , then another couple months to get the surgery and then another couple months for recovery.....that's a long time to sit and wait....and in the mean time I'll still be thinking about my old gf having all sorts of sexual fun with her new dick....while I just sitting.
If I date again and try to get out there and meet some ladies what am I going to do? Ya I know some will say if they really love you and all that shit but the reality of it is at first there is no true love ...it getting to know that other person and experimenting with the new sexual side of things....thats not going to happen ..... how do you get over that painfull feeling of losing your girl to a guy who has a hard dick if you cant be a player and get someone new.....or worse yet what if you find a hot lady???? Lets be friends for about 6 months?? Making this implant decision is stressful enough but when your single and come home to an empty house or come home on a saturday night by yourself (and you know your old gf is geting fucked) knowing it could be this way for months and months, it becomes a very cold empty dark feeling. What do you do? ....date or not to date?
We understand that ED is the cause for all of these bad feelings and for many of us the only way to be rid of that is to get an implant. I know it was for me. As for how to get over an ex, well many of us talk about it with family or friends and have that support but you want to keep this to yourself. You might look to a health professional that is bound by privacy to talk to about this. As you said this is all a lot to handle and if you can't discuss this with family or friends or clergy then maybe you should get in to talk with a professional. You uro may be able to recommend someone who has experience with this.
For me working on getting an implant was a big help. There was a light at the end of the tunnel to focus on. While not a some thing that happened in a few days or weeks I stayed busy working on this and preparing. I exercised more. I watched my diet. I did as much as I could to have the best results possible. The past was gone and I had a goal and worked for that.
As far as dating I tried that. I had the same feelings as you have and while I did meet and go out with a handful of women it was not really spectacular. Didn't really make things worse it was just the ED thing getting in the way even if I was just meeting a woman who had posted on a site she wanted an activity partner. But I met new women and went out and it was ok. It never lasted more than a few dates but It did get me out doing something. As I had not dated since before I was married it also was a way to prepare for after I had my implant.
You can do this. Thankfully we have the implant to fix this. It may not be something that happens in a few weeks but you can get this part of you back again. It's going to take a while. It is going to be different but that does not mean it's going to be bad. Many say better. Many including me say we wish we would have had the implant sooner.