Did you tell your partner? Why? How?

[dan_bionic]

You are going to be changed, especially as a relatively young, long time sufferer. I’ve been listening to a lot of guys on here over the past year react to their new bionic dicks. As far as I can tell, almost no one is like “eh” and goes on with their lives. Instead, most are like “this is fucking amazing!” and proceed to bang every woman in sight [...]

This has been me, lol. I didn't realize how high my sex drive was until I had an implant...

Duke, that's what happens to most of us, after getting the implant, we suddenly realize how strong our sex drive is...

[ElbowRoom]

Going too medical with terms like “erectile dysfunction,” “implant,” or “pump between testicles” would, I’m sure, freak a lot of people out. I understand the value of being fully transparent, but I also don’t want to drop a huge shock on someone who might not be able to handle it, and catapult them into a surreal situation from one moment to the next.

Probably something like:
“I’ve got a pretty common circulation issue down there that would cause problems later in life if I left it untreated, so I decided to finally get it sorted. It’s a very common procedure: they’ll replace two faulty veins and add a tiny sack that fills them when needed. It’s all inside, so you’d never even know it’s there. It’ll keep everything working perfectly, for life. It might only need a quick replacement every 5–10 years. I just wanted to mention it out of honesty and trust in you, even if it’s very personal.”

You know her and we don’t. However, as a general rule I’d say unless she’s super sensitive or just not very bright, to treat her like a smart adult woman capable of understanding the situation. Saying things like “down there” sounds child-like and ashamed to me, and makes me kind of cringe. These things have names and terms associated with them, just use them and I think you’ll sound more adult about it and she’ll appreciate the clarity.

As I said, I don’t know either of you so this might be way off-base for you.

[Rider1400]

I would start with the obvious issues and go into the fact that you’re having an implant placed. From there it’s more in her ball park as to how much detail she wants to know. I think some women would be very interested and others may just say wow that’s cool and not ask any questions. I think your WAY overthinking it on how to describe it to her.just admit what’s happening and roll with it. Also agree with others, in that it’s going to be several months before it really feels normal again if not 6-8 months! So having her along for the ride to discuss your thoughts would be an asset in the healing process. I had sex at about 14 days after but was very gentle and with lots of lube. Was sore for days afterwards. This gradually improved. Also the cycling you have to do for the first ever how many months would be hard to hide in the long run. Just go with 100% truth and roll with it! Stop overthinking it. It will sure make pumping much easier so you don’t have to run to the John every time. If she’s worth keeping it shouldn’t be an issue! If she has an issue, better to know now before you spend a lot of time and effort on this relationship just to find out she’s that one in a thousand women that gets freaked out about it. My wife has been with me 39 years and it’s been as much a relief to her as it’s been to me as she’s seen the misery and frustration I’ve dealt with for over 10 years! She’s commented many times over the last couple years that my implant has changed our sexual relationship and our mental relationship all for the better!

[UpNorth]

Thank you very much, Dan and Leto. I really appreciate you, as your perspective is super useful.

However, how would you phrase it? Given that she’s a 30-year-old woman prone to anxiety, I’d like to put it in the most casual and unconcerning way possible, if that makes sense.

Going too medical with terms like “erectile dysfunction,” “implant,” or “pump between testicles” would, I’m sure, freak a lot of people out. I understand the value of being fully transparent, but I also don’t want to drop a huge shock on someone who might not be able to handle it, and catapult them into a surreal situation from one moment to the next.

Probably something like:
“I’ve got a pretty common circulation issue down there that would cause problems later in life if I left it untreated, so I decided to finally get it sorted. It’s a very common procedure: they’ll replace two faulty veins and add a tiny sack that fills them when needed. It’s all inside, so you’d never even know it’s there. It’ll keep everything working perfectly, for life. It might only need a quick replacement every 5–10 years. I just wanted to mention it out of honesty and trust in you, even if it’s very personal.”

Give her an overview, then send her links to your doctor or you-tube.