I had a breakdown yesterday.

What are your fears? Ideas? Hints? to coping with ED. What helps you with your mental game? How are relationships affected?
Endoftheline
Posts: 176
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2022 4:49 pm

I had a breakdown yesterday.

Postby Endoftheline » Fri Apr 01, 2022 9:21 am

I'm moving into an apartment with my friends, as I was leaving the place I heard my roommate hav ing sex with his GF.

It hit me hard that I never got a girl to moan like that. All my years of relying on pills for a penis that can penetrate, is for nothing because it's JUST good enough for penetrating. My entire sex life revolved around taking viagra, stalling till it kicks in, than quickly penetrate before it's too soft again.

I had to speak loudly to myself in my car, everything needed to be vented but I have nobody to share this with. It was a very cathartic experience that allowed me to have peace with my decision to get an implant. Its either an implant or this miserable existence. I'm at a point where I fully believe I got nothing to lose.

Worst case scenario I'll be living with a malleable implant in my dick. It's much easier to get used to folding my dick than subject myself to all the humiliating experiences that culminated my sex life.

My appointment with Eid is in 2 weeks. I hope it goes well because I am fully willing to be 30k in the hole and pay it off over a year or 2.

Money is a problem that can be fixed, my dick ISNT.

Hope my 30s aren't nearly as pathetic as my 20s was.
29 years old and suffered from ED for over 16 years
I had hard flaccid (Potentially Post SSRI Sexual Dysfunction) , turned to long flaccid after priaprism incident.
implanted June 24 2022
24 cm XL Titan
L: 5.7 G: 5.0 (no arousal)
L:6.5 G:5.3 (aroused)

Halfman
Posts: 24
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2022 9:24 am

Re: I had a breakdown yesterday.

Postby Halfman » Fri Apr 01, 2022 11:27 am

I can FULLY relate. FULLY.
Not only do i - i speak for myself - have to put up with the inability of fulfilling an istinctive need human's existence is meant to be based upon. As it werent't enough, i even have to look around every fucking day of my fucking life and see guys of my age, in their mid 20's, fucking and getting girls satisfied and flabbergasted simply by resorting to the most natural and granted thing a man could possibly have: a functioning dick. The same thing i didn't get after losing the genetic lottery.
Nothing can make up for such humiliation, for the whole of devastating experiences i went through and for the awareness of being doomed to live and die as a miserable half man.
That's it, at least for me.
I'm gonna get implanted too, but, in my specific case, the psychological, social, relational existential full-blown devastation i've been experiencing is irreversible.
What's broken, is broken.
I hope you'll benefit from surgery better than i do.
Good luck.

Baseballfan11
Posts: 215
Joined: Thu Mar 29, 2018 3:13 am

Re: I had a breakdown yesterday.

Postby Baseballfan11 » Fri Apr 01, 2022 12:13 pm

Halfman wrote:I can FULLY relate. FULLY.
Not only do i - i speak for myself - have to put up with the inability of fulfilling an istinctive need human's existence is meant to be based upon. As it werent't enough, i even have to look around every fucking day of my fucking life and see guys of my age, in their mid 20's, fucking and getting girls satisfied and flabbergasted simply by resorting to the most natural and granted thing a man could possibly have: a functioning dick. The same thing i didn't get after losing the genetic lottery.
Nothing can make up for such humiliation, for the whole of devastating experiences i went through and for the awareness of being doomed to live and die as a miserable half man.
That's it, at least for me.
I'm gonna get implanted too, but, in my specific case, the psychological, social, relational existential full-blown devastation i've been experiencing is irreversible.
What's broken, is broken.
I hope you'll benefit from surgery better than i do.
Good luck.


You wrote my exact story. Would love to chat more with you guys if you want. I consider myself a very social, relatively decent looking 24 year old. Living with 3 guys in undergrad who constantly had girls home was a living nightmare. Forget the physical pleasure I’m sure they had. The mental agony I had was unreal and shameful, so I never told them
26 years old. USA. ED problem since teenage years. Doctor prescribed ED meds showing some efficacy but not a guarantee. As much as I’d like the implant I now think I should hold off if I’m seeing some results from pills

Halfman
Posts: 24
Joined: Sun Mar 20, 2022 9:24 am

Re: I had a breakdown yesterday.

Postby Halfman » Fri Apr 01, 2022 2:14 pm

Baseballfan11 wrote:
Halfman wrote:I can FULLY relate. FULLY.
Not only do i - i speak for myself - have to put up with the inability of fulfilling an istinctive need human's existence is meant to be based upon. As it werent't enough, i even have to look around every fucking day of my fucking life and see guys of my age, in their mid 20's, fucking and getting girls satisfied and flabbergasted simply by resorting to the most natural and granted thing a man could possibly have: a functioning dick. The same thing i didn't get after losing the genetic lottery.
Nothing can make up for such humiliation, for the whole of devastating experiences i went through and for the awareness of being doomed to live and die as a miserable half man.
That's it, at least for me.
I'm gonna get implanted too, but, in my specific case, the psychological, social, relational existential full-blown devastation i've been experiencing is irreversible.
What's broken, is broken.
I hope you'll benefit from surgery better than i do.
Good luck.


You wrote my exact story. Would love to chat more with you guys if you want. I consider myself a very social, relatively decent looking 24 year old. Living with 3 guys in undergrad who constantly had girls home was a living nightmare. Forget the physical pleasure I’m sure they had. The mental agony I had was unreal and shameful, so I never told them

"Agony" is maybe the word which sums up everything.
I went through every tragedy you could possibly imagine during my existence.
But NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING, any existential tragedy, mourning, traumatic experience i went through during the course of my life gets even a bit close to the psychological burden of living with a limp dick. Again: nothing.
A walking miserable with a plastic dick pretending to be a man: that's who i am, who i'll be. That's what i was doomed to.
On top of everything, It hurts when, being 28, you live like and in fact you're an alien surrounded by individuals of your same age who, in the overwhelming majority of cases, don't even know what andrology is.
Instead, the only thing i don't know and i'll never know is what's like having a girl moaning, screaming and coming in front of a natural blood-filled erect penis. What's like to be a man.
One day i'm gonna end this pathetic existence and get back the dignity i lost.
That's for sure.

Baseballfan11
Posts: 215
Joined: Thu Mar 29, 2018 3:13 am

Re: I had a breakdown yesterday.

Postby Baseballfan11 » Fri Apr 01, 2022 2:53 pm

Halfman wrote:
Baseballfan11 wrote:
Halfman wrote:I can FULLY relate. FULLY.
Not only do i - i speak for myself - have to put up with the inability of fulfilling an istinctive need human's existence is meant to be based upon. As it werent't enough, i even have to look around every fucking day of my fucking life and see guys of my age, in their mid 20's, fucking and getting girls satisfied and flabbergasted simply by resorting to the most natural and granted thing a man could possibly have: a functioning dick. The same thing i didn't get after losing the genetic lottery.
Nothing can make up for such humiliation, for the whole of devastating experiences i went through and for the awareness of being doomed to live and die as a miserable half man.
That's it, at least for me.
I'm gonna get implanted too, but, in my specific case, the psychological, social, relational existential full-blown devastation i've been experiencing is irreversible.
What's broken, is broken.
I hope you'll benefit from surgery better than i do.
Good luck.


You wrote my exact story. Would love to chat more with you guys if you want. I consider myself a very social, relatively decent looking 24 year old. Living with 3 guys in undergrad who constantly had girls home was a living nightmare. Forget the physical pleasure I’m sure they had. The mental agony I had was unreal and shameful, so I never told them

"Agony" is maybe the word which sums up everything.
I went through every tragedy you could possibly imagine during my existence.
But NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING, any existential tragedy, mourning, traumatic experience i went through during the course of my life gets even a bit close to the psychological burden of living with a limp dick. Again: nothing.
A walking miserable with a plastic dick pretending to be a man: that's who i am, who i'll be. That's what i was doomed to.
On top of everything, It hurts when, being 28, you live like and in fact you're an alien surrounded by individuals of your same age who, in the overwhelming majority of cases, don't even know what andrology is.
Instead, the only thing i don't know and i'll never know is what's like having a girl moaning, screaming and coming in front of a natural blood-filled erect penis. What's like to be a man.
One day i'm gonna end this pathetic existence and get back the dignity i lost.
That's for sure.



I am not a mental health professional and can’t help you in that way. As someone who is going through what you’re describing hopefully you can at least find some comfort that you aren’t the only person out there in this condition. I’m sure more of us are out there. I’ve seen a handful of articles about a rapid rise in ED in young men. I am in the process of gathering more information so I can approach this issue with confidence, as others have. I have a lot of respect for the people on this board
26 years old. USA. ED problem since teenage years. Doctor prescribed ED meds showing some efficacy but not a guarantee. As much as I’d like the implant I now think I should hold off if I’m seeing some results from pills

abhishek26
Posts: 249
Joined: Sat Feb 20, 2021 12:23 am
Location: Florida

Re: I had a breakdown yesterday.

Postby abhishek26 » Fri Apr 01, 2022 3:56 pm

Endoftheline wrote:I'm moving into an apartment with my friends, as I was leaving the place I heard my roommate hav ing sex with his GF.

It hit me hard that I never got a girl to moan like that. All my years of relying on pills for a penis that can penetrate, is for nothing because it's JUST good enough for penetrating. My entire sex life revolved around taking viagra, stalling till it kicks in, than quickly penetrate before it's too soft again.

I had to speak loudly to myself in my car, everything needed to be vented but I have nobody to share this with. It was a very cathartic experience that allowed me to have peace with my decision to get an implant. Its either an implant or this miserable existence. I'm at a point where I fully believe I got nothing to lose.

Worst case scenario I'll be living with a malleable implant in my dick. It's much easier to get used to folding my dick than subject myself to all the humiliating experiences that culminated my sex life.

My appointment with Eid is in 2 weeks. I hope it goes well because I am fully willing to be 30k in the hole and pay it off over a year or 2.

Money is a problem that can be fixed, my dick ISNT.

Hope my 30s aren't nearly as pathetic as my 20s was.

Brooo, I totally understand and can relate to your situation. It sucks that sometimes the mental/emotional pain of ED appears to be worse than the physical pain in a sense. Yes, we have the right outlook now, we just have to focus on solving this issue by any means/treatment and move on with life.
24 y/o suffering from sudden onset of severe ED (from previously having no ED at all). perfectly normal penile doppler and blood/hormone/urine test results. UPDATE: diagnosed with tight pelvic floor dysfunction :roll:

Old Guy
Posts: 2473
Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:31 pm
Location: Ohio

Re: I had a breakdown yesterday.

Postby Old Guy » Fri Apr 01, 2022 5:15 pm

It's so good that more information about ED is available and advertised these days. It's not just us old guys who suffer from ED. As a young man my dick would get hard at the suggestion of sex. When pills and injections failed the implant was the only solution. I will say that years ago when wife & I married I could get her to moan, pant and breathe hard. We had sex daily, some days more. ED destroyed that for us, and as time passed and sex had to be planned or interrupted to go inject it just wasn't the same. Especially when things failed to give lift off.
Had my implant for 2 1/2 years now. Just the other day I had the wife moaning I'm cumming I'm cumming and I just keep cumming. Sex is like 20 years ago again!
I say any man who has issues getting or keeping an erection for sex to consider an implant. It can change your life.
Nov. 8, 2019
4+ years, Coloplast Titan OTR
Married 36 years to my beautiful young bride
Always here to answer questions if you PM me

Endoftheline
Posts: 176
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2022 4:49 pm

Re: I had a breakdown yesterday.

Postby Endoftheline » Sun Apr 03, 2022 3:57 pm

Old Guy wrote:It's so good that more information about ED is available and advertised these days. It's not just us old guys who suffer from ED. As a young man my dick would get hard at the suggestion of sex. When pills and injections failed the implant was the only solution. I will say that years ago when wife & I married I could get her to moan, pant and breathe hard. We had sex daily, some days more. ED destroyed that for us, and as time passed and sex had to be planned or interrupted to go inject it just wasn't the same. Especially when things failed to give lift off.
Had my implant for 2 1/2 years now. Just the other day I had the wife moaning I'm cumming I'm cumming and I just keep cumming. Sex is like 20 years ago again!
I say any man who has issues getting or keeping an erection for sex to consider an implant. It can change your life.


it saddens me there there arent any long term studies with young men being implanted, when i do go for this procedure im basically going to be part of a data set to inform the next generation of what can go wrong. :cry:
29 years old and suffered from ED for over 16 years
I had hard flaccid (Potentially Post SSRI Sexual Dysfunction) , turned to long flaccid after priaprism incident.
implanted June 24 2022
24 cm XL Titan
L: 5.7 G: 5.0 (no arousal)
L:6.5 G:5.3 (aroused)

Old Guy
Posts: 2473
Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:31 pm
Location: Ohio

Re: I had a breakdown yesterday.

Postby Old Guy » Mon Apr 04, 2022 10:01 am

Unfortunately, you will be a statistic for future men. That is a good thing my friend, help other guys who don't think it can happen to them. Good Luck, keep us informed.
Nov. 8, 2019
4+ years, Coloplast Titan OTR
Married 36 years to my beautiful young bride
Always here to answer questions if you PM me

JimBeam
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Dec 09, 2020 5:28 pm
Location: NE Oklahoma, USA

Re: I had a breakdown yesterday.

Postby JimBeam » Wed Apr 06, 2022 6:03 pm

I'm older than you are, I'm 69, but severe ED has also caused me to have depression and I broke-down 6 months ago over it. A VED has not solved my problem either - it's an Encore and is a total flop.
My doctor has mentioned a penile implant and it's my next step to having an active sex life.
Hope you have success and can get back to a sex life you enjoy.


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