My Journal

[merrix]

"h
...
With all that said, with your experience what would you do in my shoes? How long would you wait to have the surgery, and then what steps would you take with Dr Eid to ensure as good an outcome as possible?

I'd really appreciate any thoughts you may have,"

Realized I didn't address this part of the question.
As indicated above, I wouldn't wait at all if I was unhappy or even miserable with what I have. If I am ok with what I have, and I thought I would continue to be happy with it, then I'd wait and hopefully never have to do it. But if I am unhappy already now, or if I know that I will be, then just go ahead.
I remember thinking to myself before I decided to go ahead, that sure, I could probably wait a few years. I would probably not get depressed and crash my life. I could go on with what I have, even if it sucks. But I knew it would get to me more and more. Even if i could stand it then, I knew sooner or later, I would get to the point when I couldn't stand it.
And if I knew that, then why wait? Why?
Why would I want to waste my forties having crap sex and then get it fixed in my fifties? No logic there.
So once you know that sooner or later you will do it, then go ahead.
If you think you can manage for a very long time (or forever) and be happy with what you have, then don't do it.

Regarding what you need to do to maximize chances with Dr. Eid...
Well, just by choosing him, I believe you have already maximized your chances.
All you need to do is trust him, give him all information he needs, and follow his protocol to the minute.
I was careful with taking care of myself before surgery. Tried not to drink much the weeks before, did all I could to avoid catching a cold, got as much sleep as I could, stopped all supplements with blood thinning effect (there's more of them than you think), arranged my travelling in the most conveniant way I could, planned the date for doing it to avoid getting into a situation right after surgery where I would have to travel somewhere, etc. Avoiding any comittments after surgery which could be difficult to do if recovery is slower than planned.
Finally, on the mental side, I was sure I was ready and that I walked in to this with my eyes open and my expectations in the right place.
If you read My Journal early pages, I said that I didn't even expect everything to be perfect. I said to myself that I can live with some issue. Some loss of sensitivity and having difficulties to come. A less than perfect pump placement. One or two centimeters lost length. A larger than conveniant flaccid. Whatever. The only issueI was really afraid of was infection. But for all other issues, I was prepared to get some sort of less than perfect result. I just wanted to be able to fuck with a hard dick without worrying if it went down.
Then I made sure I picked the surgeon I thought would have the highest probability of avoiding infection and maximizing results overall.
As it turned out, I would say everything got perfect. I even got my curve straightened which I hadn't expected.

That's all I think.

Good Luck man.

[stephen54]

I get questions like the one below now and then. As I know that this is very typical questions, I thought I might as well answer it here instead of in a PM.

"Hi Merrix,

I read a few of your posts on implants and Dr. Eid and was hoping you could help me with an advice as our situations seems to be somewhat similar.

I am 35 and have been on sildenafil ever since I got married at 25. Before marriage and I could masturbate with no issues, but sex was not possible a few times I tried. I had 90% success with viagra in the past 10 years until it stopped working about 2 months ago. Nowadays I get some erection, but barely enough for penetration. About 50% of times I get no erection at all.

I tried VED but it did not work for me and was painful. I do not want to try injections, as even if they were effective this will lead to scarring and fibrosis at some point, which I want to avoid at such a young age. I still get good nocturnal erections though.

I am seriously considering an inflatable implant with Dr. Eid, but I am worried that doing it at such a young age I would need multiple revisions and it would lead to loss of length, numbness, scarring etc. Do you think I could have 3-4 more revisions without an issue?

If I had a complete ED, getting an implant would be a no brainer, but having good erections at night, being able to have good sex with viagra until recently it is a tough decision to make. On the other hand, I had no decent sex with my wife past two months and it feels terrible, especially with the libido I have at 35. My balls literally hurt from being full.

Feeling really down and confused. Please help. "


Yes. Good questions, valid questions.
But instead of jumping in to statistics on infection rates for multiple revisions, and discussing how bad ED needs to be before going for implant, let's look at it from the helicopter perpspective first.

What is the option?
Think about it.
Yes, at 35 you will need revisions. I did it in my early forties, and I calculate on having to do a few revisions as well.
But so what?
Based on what you write, you cannot have sex anymore. Pills stopped working. Or your ED got worse, which means the effect from the pills are not enough anymore. Same shit.
You could not have sex with your wife for two months.

Then so what if you need a few revisions if you get implanted?
Are you going to sit there and say, for the rest of your life, that because you never got an implant, then: "Yes!! I never needed any implant revisions! Great!" But you will only be able to bang your wife once every six months when the pills luckily worked. For five minutes.

What is more important, being able to have sex or not having to do revisions?

I think the first question we all must ask ourselves in your situation is: Am I OK with the sexual performance I have now? If I can maintain what I have now for the rest of my life, is that ok?
If the answer is yes, I can live with this. It is not perfect, but it is within some reasonable standards, and at this level I will be ok, then fine. Don't risk the implant surgery and the following revisions.
But if you say that, fuck no, this is definitely not ok. It makes me feel miserable, it makes my wife feel miserable, and I know that this is not going to work in the long run - then you have to do something.
If that is moving on to another treatment instad of pills (e.g. injections), then so be it. But you have to do something.
And if the next step is implant, then so it is. Don't stay away from an implant you need because you are afraid of revisions.

It is like when people have miserable sex, but they hesitate to get implanted because they are afraid they will lose half an inch of length. I never understood the logic of that. What they say then is that it is better to have a dick that COULD be 5 inches when erect if it just could get hard (but it can't) than it is to have 4.5 inches rock hard whenever you want.

???????

Same logic with the revisions. So it is better to not have sex, or just having shitty sex once in a while, than it is to treat the problem and then having to do multipe surgeries to keep it that way?
If you really think so, then of course, go ahead with a sex-less life.
But if sex is important enough to have a surgery every ten years, then go the implant route.

Bottom line, we must stop comparing the implant to something we WISH we had, but don't actually have (i.e. a working penis), and start comparing the pros and cons of an implant with what we ACTUALLY have. Which in most cases is a crap dick which doesn't work as it should, or as it needs to for us to feel good overall.

And to go into some details, as you are young, you will most likely need more revisions than a guy who gets implanted at 75. All the more important to let a top surgeon do the work.
Infection risk is slightly higher with a revision than a virgin surgery.
Let's say they are double.
if you do 1+3 surgeries with a top surgeon (0.3% infection rates on virgin, 0.6% on revisions), then your chance of never getting infected is (1-0.003)*(1-0.006)^3 = 98%
If going with a low-volume surgeon who has a 1.5% virgin infection rate and 3% revision infection rate, you end up at (1-0.015)*(1-0.03)^3 = 90%.
So you will have 2% of getting infected with the top doc and 10% with the low-volume doc.
One might not think that 0.4% or 2% makes much of a difference. But in the long run, when doing multiple revisions, it sure does.
Do you research, look at infection statistics of the doctors you are considering. If thy don't keep any statistics, I'd stay away.

Good luck.

Am new here and just stumbled across this old (and new/revived) thread. Love it. What a treasure trove of great information. Your patience and forthright bluntness play well here and are what a lot of guys need to hear, I think. This post in particular crisply and correctly dissects one of the key (and in my opinion) illogical elements to the implant consideration arguments.

What you said here always made entirely perfect sense to me. Assess your current day status quo, whatever that means to you. If you are genuinely and deeply unhappy with it...and if there is a next-step approach you have not tried...then fucking try it. Whatever it is. And don't look in the rearview. Go have the best sex you can have with pills. Then, go have the best sex you can have with VED and then injections and then the piggybacked combinations of all of those. When those run their courses and you're staring at the end-of-the-continuum reality of implants...and if...IF...excellent sex remains a very high priority in your life...then leap, embrace the implant, and embrace that thing with whatever inevitable idiosyncrasies and nuances it (and everything) inevitably brings. Roll with it. Have rock hard on demand sex. Stop contemplating the unachievable ED-fix-Utopia.

People are so different, and with such different qualities in terms of their risk-tolerance and their caution vs faith/just leap mentalities. I only know myself and my wife firsthand on this subject of ED leading to implant...and she, for sure, had more questions and concerns than I seemed to (to her). But I had been thinking, reading, questioning, researching, and communicating with others on the implant topic for the better part of 2 years. I was well-armed with information and I had done the math in my head, for myself, about the risk vs upside. On balance, if I'm being honest with myself...I knew perfectly well 2 years ago that, with my very high dose injections faltering and failing and causing pain, fibrosis, etc...I for sure obviously knew where things were heading.

And at the end of the day, the highly sexual situation/relationship I am in was going to very, very dramatically change (already was changing) if I did not do something. She's too highly sexual. I'm too highly sexual. No risk. No reward. That fucking simple. We were (and are, still) in a situation where we cannot un-know the absolutely ridiculously awesome sex which is possible with a reliable rock hard dick. You can lie to yourself, but ultimately you cannot un-know awesome sex. The 2 of us, our basic natures said, "Ok let's leap here and give ourselves the best possible chance at the closest version of that" - ie, what it was like when injections worked with perfection, reliability, and crazy duration. Only speaking for the 2 of us, but we deeply sought a return to that.

I'm day 22 post implant. Not even activated yet, that's a week out. But one thing I've learned here for sure, is that the consideration of the entire spectrum of ED therapies from pills to injections to implants...it's deeply personal, of course...but it's also not fundamentally different from so many other things in life where people second guess and get paralysis by analysis noise unrelenting in their heads. We're all different. I get it, we all need encouragement and a push at times and for someone to throw back the veil on the contradictions in our thinking. Not to push an implant agenda on us, per se...but rather, to challenge our thinking. What a great thread and a great post here to help do just that.

[merrix]

Thanks. Good to know those hundreds of hours ( I guess) was useful to someone...

[merrix]

I got some comments, both in another thread and by PM, on my flaccid.
Some anti-Titan members here preach the idea that if you get a Titan you will be doomed to walk the earth with a stiff, ugly accordion sticking right out, poking a hole in your pants, scaring the shit out of kids and virgins as you struggle to live your life.

I always said that was BS. I, and several other members here with great results, are living proof of that. So why is it then that some people get these poor (flaccid) results with Titans?
Three reasons come to mind.
Doc oversized them, they don't know how to deflate properly, something wrong with the implant (the valve) causing refill problems.

Oversizing will make the cylinders wrinkle (the accordion effect, or dog ears). My doc, Eid, said a perfectly sized Titan will have some (some, not a lot) crinkles when deflated and none when inflated fully. I think that says it all.

Poor deflating, due to user error or faulty valve, will of course give you a semi instead of a flaccid.

Also, the Titan cylinders are made of stiffer plastic than the silicon of the AMS. This is good and bad. Good because it adds to the stifness and axial loading strength of the Titan erection vs the AMS erection, good because it makes the cylinders more durable (it has happened AMS cylinders actually break down even though unusual), but bad because it makes the flaccid stiffer.
However, the Titan cylinders do become softer with time. Dr. Eid explained this to me as that the cylinders absorb fat with time and this softens them up. This has definitely happened in my case.

So, looking at my pics below, I think it is evident that a Titan, properly sized, properly deflated, and given some time to soften up, will produce a totally natural looking flaccid. Of course, we might argue that it looks unnatural due to the size. My flaccid is 50-60% longer now than my pre-op flaccid was. But ok, let me change that then and say that it looks totally normal compared to other big dicks.

I have said many times before that I spend all my time in any of three type of clothes: Snug fit modern suit pants (with shirt tucked in of course), tight street shorts, or swimwear. I am not the speedo type, but I do wear rather tight fit swim shorts. These I wear for hours all weekends in and around the pool and at the beach. Always in the company of friends, their wives, their kids etc. I never feel uncomfortable. I doubt anybody even notices I have a big dick. I just wear tight boxer briefs under my swimwear and that is enough to keep things decent.

I also want to add that my flaccid needed some time to get to where it is.
For the first 1-2 weeks I had no flaccid. It pointed up at 1-2 o'clock with minimal inflation. Swelling main reason.
After activation at third week, my "flaccid" was still a joke. 3-4 o'clock. Still because of swelling, poor deflation skills and stiff cylinders.
Then it gradually got better after that, but even after 2 months it didn't hang right down as now. Not even close.
I can't say exactly when it did, cannot remember and of course it doesn't happen over night.
What I can say is that it kept improving for a very long time. 1-2 years I would say.

Another thing I must mention is the deflation. I was, like many others here describe, also forced to hold the deflate valve pressed while deflating in the beginning. I used to squeeze my dick with my left hand, and kept the valve pressed with my right hand. Then I moved my left hand to my perinneal area and squeezed the cylinders from the back while still pressing the valve with my right hand.
I didn't give 5 cents for the "One Touch". BS I said.

Nowadays, all I do is give the deflate button one good, firm squeeze for 2-3 seconds and my dick goes down to what you see on the pictures. I do not squeeze my shaft even for a second. Haven't done that for a couple of years. No need.
So what has happened? What has changed? Don't know. My best guess is the valve need a long break-in period.

Anyway, even with my size, I can honestly say that my flaccid is almost never an issue. I do as I said wear clothes that is not doing anything to help hiding it, but it is still ok. I am quite active with sports and lifting weights and that is not a problem either.
The only time I have had issues with it was when I did a couple of grappling classes with my boxing trainer. Sometimes a bit uncomfortable, and I guess he could feel my dick as well when e.g. doing a lock with my legs around him.

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[David_R]

Looks totally natural flaccid, Merrix. (And I bet you get some envious looks in the locker room!)

[LeRoastBeef]

It does look natural. Looks great. I was disappointed to hear the issue during grappling.
I was worried about this, but it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.
What was your coach's response, does he know about the implant. Lol, that would be an uncomfortable situation.

[merrix]

Yesterday when having sex, I started off with giving my wife oral.
Before she orgasmed, she gave my a BJ. Standard procedure would be that I would stop her well before I feel I will come and penetrate her, give her orgasm, and then come myself.
However, for some reason, the BJ felt even better than normal. And I noticed she wanted to keep going and make me come.
So she did.
Afterwards she left the bed to get rid of the cum in her mouth, and came back a minute later. I was still inflated, and recovering from a great orgasm. Normally, any sex act would be over by now. Or at least on hold for recovery break. But not with an implant. I just penetrated her, fucked her for a while in the best possible way for her, without any concern about my own preferences. She came within a few minutes and we both fell asleep happy.
Just a short little story about the advantages of an implant...

Next random topic:
I have been having some pain in my knees lately. I know I have treated them really badly over the years, with football, tennis, squats and deadlifts. Never listening to the signals, but rather always pusing through pain and keeping on doing my shit despite the pain.
Anyway, to get to the point, I was seeing a specialist back home in my nordic country while being her me over christmas/new years. His judgement was arthrisis and that I probably rather sooner than later would need a knee implant. Tough news, but what I wanted to say was this:
Even though the doctor explained the risk of infection and the rather serious consequences thereof (removal of implant, heavy antibiotics, risk of not being able to ever insert a new implant, but rather just put in a stiff prosthesis which makes your leg unbendable for the rest of your life), that risk would never prevent me from going through with the surgery if I needed it.
It was all about the symtoms I have now, the pain, the limitations my knee pain sets on my life and the activities I like to do. How I weigh the implant with its pros and cons and risks against my current natural but sometimes painful knees' pros and cons. How well do my natural knees function, how much do they hinder me from doing the things I love.

It is easy to draw a paralell to a penile implant. Why is the worry for infection so much on the table here and not in other cases? Fucking up your knee and losing your joint and never being able to bend your knee is pretty heavy shit. But I don't think anybody who needs a knee implant will avoid surgery because of this risk. If you need it you need it. But with a penile implant it seems not unusual that people who really need one hesitate to go through with it because of risk of infection.
Regarding risk, they seemed to be similar. About 1%.

And for the records, I am not going to get a knee implant yet. But I am sure I will one day.

[LookingUp]

well thought and said.

Happy New Year.

LU

[MK1965]

Merix,
Every Titan does not look good as yours.
We have here people with not so good looking penis implanted with Titan.
I am not alone who complains of my semi erect penis all the time.
And yes, I know how to properly deflate it. After complete deflation, my penis looks flat like being run by bus tire and still is not going lower then 4:30 or 45 degrees angle. When I wear scrubs in the hospital, my bulge is still very visible at 16 months post implant. If I knew this before implant, I would avoid Titan like a plaque. Titan neither feels nor looks natural in my case. I need stiff penis for an hour a day and I have that, but other 23 hours a day , I hate it.

[stephen54]

I got some comments, both in another thread and by PM, on my flaccid.
Some anti-Titan members here preach the idea that if you get a Titan you will be doomed to walk the earth with a stiff, ugly accordion sticking right out, poking a hole in your pants, scaring the shit out of kids and virgins as you struggle to live your life.

I always said that was BS. I, and several other members here with great results, are living proof of that. So why is it then that some people get these poor (flaccid) results with Titans?
Three reasons come to mind.
Doc oversized them, they don't know how to deflate properly, something wrong with the implant (the valve) causing refill problems.

Oversizing will make the cylinders wrinkle (the accordion effect, or dog ears). My doc, Eid, said a perfectly sized Titan will have some (some, not a lot) crinkles when deflated and none when inflated fully. I think that says it all.

Poor deflating, due to user error or faulty valve, will of course give you a semi instead of a flaccid.

Also, the Titan cylinders are made of stiffer plastic than the silicon of the AMS. This is good and bad. Good because it adds to the stifness and axial loading strength of the Titan erection vs the AMS erection, good because it makes the cylinders more durable (it has happened AMS cylinders actually break down even though unusual), but bad because it makes the flaccid stiffer.
However, the Titan cylinders do become softer with time. Dr. Eid explained this to me as that the cylinders absorb fat with time and this softens them up. This has definitely happened in my case.

So, looking at my pics below, I think it is evident that a Titan, properly sized, properly deflated, and given some time to soften up, will produce a totally natural looking flaccid. Of course, we might argue that it looks unnatural due to the size. My flaccid is 50-60% longer now than my pre-op flaccid was. But ok, let me change that then and say that it looks totally normal compared to other big dicks.

I have said many times before that I spend all my time in any of three type of clothes: Snug fit modern suit pants (with shirt tucked in of course), tight street shorts, or swimwear. I am not the speedo type, but I do wear rather tight fit swim shorts. These I wear for hours all weekends in and around the pool and at the beach. Always in the company of friends, their wives, their kids etc. I never feel uncomfortable. I doubt anybody even notices I have a big dick. I just wear tight boxer briefs under my swimwear and that is enough to keep things decent.

I also want to add that my flaccid needed some time to get to where it is.
For the first 1-2 weeks I had no flaccid. It pointed up at 1-2 o'clock with minimal inflation. Swelling main reason.
After activation at third week, my "flaccid" was still a joke. 3-4 o'clock. Still because of swelling, poor deflation skills and stiff cylinders.
Then it gradually got better after that, but even after 2 months it didn't hang right down as now. Not even close.
I can't say exactly when it did, cannot remember and of course it doesn't happen over night.
What I can say is that it kept improving for a very long time. 1-2 years I would say.

Another thing I must mention is the deflation. I was, like many others here describe, also forced to hold the deflate valve pressed while deflating in the beginning. I used to squeeze my dick with my left hand, and kept the valve pressed with my right hand. Then I moved my left hand to my perinneal area and squeezed the cylinders from the back while still pressing the valve with my right hand.
I didn't give 5 cents for the "One Touch". BS I said.

Nowadays, all I do is give the deflate button one good, firm squeeze for 2-3 seconds and my dick goes down to what you see on the pictures. I do not squeeze my shaft even for a second. Haven't done that for a couple of years. No need.
So what has happened? What has changed? Don't know. My best guess is the valve need a long break-in period.

Anyway, even with my size, I can honestly say that my flaccid is almost never an issue. I do as I said wear clothes that is not doing anything to help hiding it, but it is still ok. I am quite active with sports and lifting weights and that is not a problem either.
The only time I have had issues with it was when I did a couple of grappling classes with my boxing trainer. Sometimes a bit uncomfortable, and I guess he could feel my dick as well when e.g. doing a lock with my legs around him.

IMG_3079.jpgF 1912.jpg

Again, many thanks for the well-explained landscape of your TItan experience. I'm only day 48 post-implant and have not even taken this thing for it's first official test run yet with my wife, but...soon. And I find that, while I was (I thought) extremely diligent before opting for and progressing to surgery in terms of information gathering...there's just no substitute for reading experiences like yours as to the post-implant world. No bullshit, pragmatic, blunt, and all the more helpful in my view precisely because of that. I'm going to go backwards here on FT and read your older posts tracking your post implant experiences. Thanks. Excellent resource for those of us with the entire array of post-surgical "hmmm's" and "what the fuck?!"'s...