I am really scared

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.
jfruedam
Posts: 20
Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2019 2:37 pm

I am really scared

Postby jfruedam » Sat Aug 17, 2019 9:15 pm

So, this is my story. I am 30 years old, never had a girlfriend, virgin. In my youth I realized I had a ventral curvature in my penis, which turned out to be congenital after urologic examination. Last three years I have noticed a really high decrease in libido, and this has been accompanied by the inability to get an erection while masturbating. I know there's something seriously wrong with me, I never have spontaneous erections, never wake up with morning wood. By my own, I decided to try sildenafil (50 mg) but it didn't make any difference while playing solo. I then decided to try one injection, which again didn't make any difference whatsoever. I know I shouldn't have self medicated but all of it was just a confirmation to myself there's something extremely wrong going on.

Since then, I have started developing pain in my testicles, it might be epydidimitis from what I can read. The thing is, I don't have the courage to setup an appointment with a specialist because I am afraid of confirming my suspicions. In my mind I kinda know my only alternative is an implant. I don't have the courage to deal with all this.

I am extremely depressed, in part because of this, in part because of my extremely loneliness. I have not been alone this long by choice you know? I crave for human contact and attention of the opposite sex as any other guy. But I am ugly and no matter how hard I have tried I have never been good enough for anyone. So now I just look at my future without hope. Even if I went to an specialist, confirmed my suspicions and got an implant, that would become another obstacle in my road. I mean, I can't even get a girl to like me even when they think I am sexually healthy, how could I explain it?

Then there is the fact that I am from a third world country and I would be at the hands of a local urologist who at the most does no more than a dozen of implants per year. No Kramer, no Eid for me. I have around 17000 dollars saved, and it would take me at least another 3 years to go to one of those guys. And I am talking about all my freakin savings...it just doesn't seem possible. I just don't know what to do, I feel lost forever.

FMLFML85
Posts: 578
Joined: Thu May 10, 2018 12:18 am

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Postby FMLFML85 » Sat Aug 17, 2019 9:24 pm

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Last edited by FMLFML85 on Fri Jan 24, 2020 2:01 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Toronto67
Posts: 71
Joined: Sun Jul 21, 2019 11:20 am

Re: I am really scared

Postby Toronto67 » Sun Aug 18, 2019 1:50 am

jfruedam wrote:So, this is my story. I am 30 years old, never had a girlfriend, virgin. In my youth I realized I had a ventral curvature in my penis, which turned out to be congenital after urologic examination. Last three years I have noticed a really high decrease in libido, and this has been accompanied by the inability to get an erection while masturbating. I know there's something seriously wrong with me, I never have spontaneous erections, never wake up with morning wood. By my own, I decided to try sildenafil (50 mg) but it didn't make any difference while playing solo. I then decided to try one injection, which again didn't make any difference whatsoever. I know I shouldn't have self medicated but all of it was just a confirmation to myself there's something extremely wrong going on.

Since then, I have started developing pain in my testicles, it might be epydidimitis from what I can read. The thing is, I don't have the courage to setup an appointment with a specialist because I am afraid of confirming my suspicions. In my mind I kinda know my only alternative is an implant. I don't have the courage to deal with all this.

I am extremely depressed, in part because of this, in part because of my extremely loneliness. I have not been alone this long by choice you know? I crave for human contact and attention of the opposite sex as any other guy. But I am ugly and no matter how hard I have tried I have never been good enough for anyone. So now I just look at my future without hope. Even if I went to an specialist, confirmed my suspicions and got an implant, that would become another obstacle in my road. I mean, I can't even get a girl to like me even when they think I am sexually healthy, how could I explain it?

Then there is the fact that I am from a third world country and I would be at the hands of a local urologist who at the most does no more than a dozen of implants per year. No Kramer, no Eid for me. I have around 17000 dollars saved, and it would take me at least another 3 years to go to one of those guys. And I am talking about all my freakin savings...it just doesn't seem possible. I just don't know what to do, I feel lost forever.



I am very sorry to heard about your problems, but before jumping into conclusions and getting into a procedure that may not be needed you need to go to a Doctor who can look into your problem as a whole and not just from the point of view of not being able to achieve an erection while stimulating your self.

A personal coach may also provide you with some guidance and help to deal with some of the other personal issues and insecurities you have, which also could be part of the problem.

You are a very young man with many options, a good doctor should find the cause of the problem and prescribe the best solution.

I hope you the best.
Born 1967, diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2016, prostatectomy performed in 2018, current PSA 0.10, implanted with LGX 700 on Jul 2019.

QuestionGuy
Posts: 128
Joined: Tue Sep 22, 2015 6:50 pm

Re: I am really scared

Postby QuestionGuy » Mon Aug 19, 2019 1:24 pm

When simultaneously dealing with multiple sources of adversity, it is important to "fight one war at a time". If you try to look at all this as one big hopeless mess, you'll go crazy (or worse) . In your case, "girls are for down the road".

1) Doctor - find out if there is anything medical going on with the pain and swelling. This is the lowest hanging fruit you have to pick here. If they tell you everything is fine and you have no "known ailments" then you are in the same boat as alot of us here, and can move to the "next war".

2) Confidence and Self Esteem - Ugliness "never has been" and "never will be" a show stopper for men. We are able to bring so many other things to the table, that this is usually easily worked around. You all ready know this though, as you regularly see ugly men with women (and sometimes very striking women)

3) ED Solution: One thing which is seldom mentioned here, is asking yourself "what are your needs and desires". The advantage a single guy has over the married guys here is : that when your single you have options. There is no shortage of women on this planet who want a husband/boyfriend but are actually asexual and don't dig sex. There is no shortage of women who can do without penetrative sex but love oral sex. There are also women with their own issues, who will be quite relieved to find someone who is "equally yoked". My situation is a good example: I actually get pleasure and have great orgasms even when I cant get an erection. I had an amazing relationship with a woman who liked face sitting and pinching my nipples while I wanked. I had some of the most intense orgasms of my life that way.

I think the things to look at are: your own libido, your own sensitivity and receptiveness to pleasure, as well as your need for penis-in-vagina sex. If your vision for yourself and your life involves being a Casanova and screwing like a porn star, then the implant is absolutely the way to go.
I'm 55. PostFinasterideSyndrome/Peyronies . Initially had good erections but numbness. Now erections are compromised, but good sensitivity. I see Dr. Irwin Goldstein and do : TRIMIX-Clomiphene-Arimidex –Cabergoline -Cialis -Traction-VED-Pshot-gainswave


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