How to get over getting dumped, to date or not to

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.
needhelp
Posts: 202
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:07 pm

How to get over getting dumped, to date or not to

Postby needhelp » Sun Feb 10, 2019 12:31 pm

I'd like to get some feed from the single guys OR the married guys who have gone through this. I never had ED up till 8 months ago. I had a crazy sexual chemistry with this girl I was dating for a year. Loved her. From an accident we had I now have ED. We got back together and then realized, what use to be an exciting crazy sexy nights was now a sad embarrassing, humiliating situation. I now went FROM the guy who was the BEST she ever had in bed to the WORSE. As of a couple weeks ago she was not returning my text. I text her asking if she would be willing to help me with transportation to and from the hospital when I book the surgery, because nobody knows of this. I get a text back saying "I've met someone" and you know the rest of the story. We always had this agreement neither one of us would ever tell the other if we were seeing someone after we broke up because of the pain it would cause. Well it destroyed me at a very very bad time in my life. I know she is now enjoying a hard dick like the one I use to give her. I never wanted that image in my brain....no guy does and now its there, and it keeps replaying and replaying. Every time we broke up I would start trying to date on some site's. The best way to get over someone is to start dating again and met another girl (or partner) and restart that sexual foreplay all over again. Well we know that's not going to happen with ED. So I'm sitting here thinking, should I date again (now) or wait? Well, if I wait it could take a couple months to figure out IF my insurance will pay , then another couple months to get the surgery and then another couple months for recovery.....that's a long time to sit and wait....and in the mean time I'll still be thinking about my old gf having all sorts of sexual fun with her new dick....while I just sitting.
If I date again and try to get out there and meet some ladies what am I going to do? Ya I know some will say if they really love you and all that shit but the reality of it is at first there is no true love ...it getting to know that other person and experimenting with the new sexual side of things....thats not going to happen ..... how do you get over that painfull feeling of losing your girl to a guy who has a hard dick if you cant be a player and get someone new.....or worse yet what if you find a hot lady???? Lets be friends for about 6 months?? Making this implant decision is stressful enough but when your single and come home to an empty house or come home on a saturday night by yourself (and you know your old gf is geting fucked) knowing it could be this way for months and months, it becomes a very cold empty dark feeling. What do you do? ....date or not to date?
61 years old, single, Charlotte NC, Had a penile fracture. Implant scheduled for April 17. Dr Terlecki Winston-Salem, NC

kosh200
Posts: 100
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2018 12:49 pm

Re: How to get over getting dumped, to date or not to

Postby kosh200 » Sun Feb 10, 2019 1:08 pm

A couple things come to mind for you situation. I think waiting till you recover from surgery might prolong a lot of time missed and you may miss some opportunities. If you start dating now, you may find someone that is willing to support you through this journey. It might even be refreshing for them if you took sex off the table. You can absolutely do foreplay with them so it’s not like you’ll be celibate and if you develop a bond with them they will be in for a reward that both you and them will never expect!

I would date and be totally up front with them. Just say that you had trauma to your penis and you need surgery to get it fixed. But tell them when all is said and done, you’ll be better than before. I wouldn’t put yourself in a situation where you are bound to fail, so abstain from trying penetrating sex. You may be surprised with the outcome and have a companion to go through this with! If you do, you must pay it forward for others to hear your story
44 years old. Diagnosed with Peyronies over 4 years ago. Successfully implanted on 9/6 with a Coloplast Titan 18 cm + 3 cm RTEs 4.5”-1st Activation, 6.00” three months of cycling. Dr. Levine. Chicago, Illinois

needhelp
Posts: 202
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:07 pm

Re: How to get over getting dumped, to date or not to

Postby needhelp » Sun Feb 10, 2019 1:27 pm

kosh200 wrote:A couple things come to mind for you situation. I think waiting till you recover from surgery might prolong a lot of time missed and you may miss some opportunities. If you start dating now, you may find someone that is willing to support you through this journey. It might even be refreshing for them if you took sex off the table. You can absolutely do foreplay with them so it’s not like you’ll be celibate and if you develop a bond with them they will be in for a reward that both you and them will never expect!

I would date and be totally up front with them. Just say that you had trauma to your penis and you need surgery to get it fixed. But tell them when all is said and done, you’ll be better than before. I wouldn’t put yourself in a situation where you are bound to fail, so abstain from trying penetrating sex. You may be surprised with the outcome and have a companion to go through this with! If you do, you must pay it forward for others to hear your story


Thank you...... I hoping for something good in my life....I will pay it forward
61 years old, single, Charlotte NC, Had a penile fracture. Implant scheduled for April 17. Dr Terlecki Winston-Salem, NC

Weazer
Posts: 23
Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2019 3:25 pm

Re: How to get over getting dumped, to date or not to

Postby Weazer » Sun Feb 10, 2019 1:40 pm

Let me tell you my story. My ED had progressed to a point that I no longer tried with women but I just couldn't pull the trigger on an implant. I'm sure it was fear of the unknown. The fear that I would never have a natural erection again with a dick that that wouldn't get hard anyway.

One Friday I stopped in a shop that I am a regular in. I was chatting with the manager, a really cute woman who I have known for a long time. I have tried to date her in the past but she didn't seem interested. She asked what I was doing over the weekend and I told her I was going to visit family in another city. She got excited and said she had been given 2 tickets to a concert in that city and she could not find anyone to go with her and since I was going to be there anyway. I of course accepted. Still iI was not sure where I stood with her especially after I had a mutual friend call me and tell me she had been asked first. We went to the concert and had a great time. After the show we go outside and are talking on the street. I am looking into those big blue eyes of hers and I realize all I have to do is to take her by the hand and walk her the block to her hotel and it will be a night I will never forget. Because, I will fail miserably. I will be in bed with a beautiful woman, one I have desired forever and I know my dick won't get hard. So I gave her a hug and walked away. The next week I was in my urologists office talking to him about being implanted.

There is an old saying, "The best way to get over a woman is to get on top of another one.", and you can't do that. So what are you going to do about it?

As far as your old girlfriend, the bitch that broke your dick and dumped you, resolve right now to thank her. Thank her for convincing you to get an implant. thank her for showing you what a cunt she is before you got too involved then thank God that you live in a time and place that you can get it fixed.
57, not married, Peyronies Disease in 2014, plication surgery 2016, failed, grafted in 2016, implant Dec. 27 2018. Titan 20cm +1RTE

needhelp
Posts: 202
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:07 pm

Re: How to get over getting dumped, to date or not to

Postby needhelp » Sun Feb 10, 2019 1:50 pm

Weazer wrote:Let me tell you my story. My ED had progressed to a point that I no longer tried with women but I just couldn't pull the trigger on an implant. I'm sure it was fear of the unknown. The fear that I would never have a natural erection again with a dick that that wouldn't get hard anyway.

One Friday I stopped in a shop that I am a regular in. I was chatting with the manager, a really cute woman who I have known for a long time. I have tried to date her in the past but she didn't seem interested. She asked what I was doing over the weekend and I told her I was going to visit family in another city. She got excited and said she had been given 2 tickets to a concert in that city and she could not find anyone to go with her and since I was going to be there anyway. I of course accepted. Still iI was not sure where I stood with her especially after I had a mutual friend call me and tell me she had been asked first. We went to the concert and had a great time. After the show we go outside and are talking on the street. I am looking into those big blue eyes of hers and I realize all I have to do is to take her by the hand and walk her the block to her hotel and it will be a night I will never forget. Because, I will fail miserably. I will be in bed with a beautiful woman, one I have desired forever and I know my dick won't get hard. So I gave her a hug and walked away. The next week I was in my urologists office talking to him about being implanted.

There is an old saying, "The best way to get over a woman is to get on top of another one.", and you can't do that. So what are you going to do about it?

As far as your old girlfriend, the bitch that broke your dick and dumped you, resolve right now to thank her. Thank her for convincing you to get an implant. thank her for showing you what a cunt she is before you got too involved then thank God that you live in a time and place that you can get it fixed.


LOVE IT! Thank you buddy ......
61 years old, single, Charlotte NC, Had a penile fracture. Implant scheduled for April 17. Dr Terlecki Winston-Salem, NC

needhelp
Posts: 202
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:07 pm

Re: How to get over getting dumped, to date or not to

Postby needhelp » Sun Feb 10, 2019 1:52 pm

needhelp wrote:
Weazer wrote:Let me tell you my story. My ED had progressed to a point that I no longer tried with women but I just couldn't pull the trigger on an implant. I'm sure it was fear of the unknown. The fear that I would never have a natural erection again with a dick that that wouldn't get hard anyway.

One Friday I stopped in a shop that I am a regular in. I was chatting with the manager, a really cute woman who I have known for a long time. I have tried to date her in the past but she didn't seem interested. She asked what I was doing over the weekend and I told her I was going to visit family in another city. She got excited and said she had been given 2 tickets to a concert in that city and she could not find anyone to go with her and since I was going to be there anyway. I of course accepted. Still iI was not sure where I stood with her especially after I had a mutual friend call me and tell me she had been asked first. We went to the concert and had a great time. After the show we go outside and are talking on the street. I am looking into those big blue eyes of hers and I realize all I have to do is to take her by the hand and walk her the block to her hotel and it will be a night I will never forget. Because, I will fail miserably. I will be in bed with a beautiful woman, one I have desired forever and I know my dick won't get hard. So I gave her a hug and walked away. The next week I was in my urologists office talking to him about being implanted.

There is an old saying, "The best way to get over a woman is to get on top of another one.", and you can't do that. So what are you going to do about it?

As far as your old girlfriend, the bitch that broke your dick and dumped you, resolve right now to thank her. Thank her for convincing you to get an implant. thank her for showing you what a cunt she is before you got too involved then thank God that you live in a time and place that you can get it fixed.


LOVE IT! Thank you buddy ......


..... what are your thoughts on dating until I get it done...could be some months in between
61 years old, single, Charlotte NC, Had a penile fracture. Implant scheduled for April 17. Dr Terlecki Winston-Salem, NC

tomas1
Posts: 1153
Joined: Tue Jul 23, 2013 5:12 pm
Location: Tempe, AZ

Re: How to get over getting dumped, to date or not to

Postby tomas1 » Sun Feb 10, 2019 2:04 pm

As far as your old girlfriend, the bitch that broke your dick and dumped you, resolve right now to thank her. Thank her for convincing you to get an implant. thank her for showing you what a cunt she is before you got too involved then thank God that you live in a time and place that you can get it fixed.

Well put lol. I can add that for a normal implant the time to use it is way leaas than 2 months.
I'm old and 2 1/2 weeks post-op and know I could do it today, but will wait a bit longer.

Sorry, I can't give relationship suggestions, but you must move on and stay well.
80 years
Got implant on 1/22/19 by Dr Avila.
Scrotal, horizontal incision just over 1"
18cm AMS 700 CX, 3.5cm RTE 100cc reservoir
Diagnosed with Gleason 6 prostate cancer. Monitoring it for now.

Weazer
Posts: 23
Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2019 3:25 pm

Re: How to get over getting dumped, to date or not to

Postby Weazer » Sun Feb 10, 2019 2:19 pm

needhelp wrote:
needhelp wrote:
Weazer wrote:Let me tell you my story. My ED had progressed to a point that I no longer tried with women but I just couldn't pull the trigger on an implant. I'm sure it was fear of the unknown. The fear that I would never have a natural erection again with a dick that that wouldn't get hard anyway.

One Friday I stopped in a shop that I am a regular in. I was chatting with the manager, a really cute woman who I have known for a long time. I have tried to date her in the past but she didn't seem interested. She asked what I was doing over the weekend and I told her I was going to visit family in another city. She got excited and said she had been given 2 tickets to a concert in that city and she could not find anyone to go with her and since I was going to be there anyway. I of course accepted. Still iI was not sure where I stood with her especially after I had a mutual friend call me and tell me she had been asked first. We went to the concert and had a great time. After the show we go outside and are talking on the street. I am looking into those big blue eyes of hers and I realize all I have to do is to take her by the hand and walk her the block to her hotel and it will be a night I will never forget. Because, I will fail miserably. I will be in bed with a beautiful woman, one I have desired forever and I know my dick won't get hard. So I gave her a hug and walked away. The next week I was in my urologists office talking to him about being implanted.

There is an old saying, "The best way to get over a woman is to get on top of another one.", and you can't do that. So what are you going to do about it?

As far as your old girlfriend, the bitch that broke your dick and dumped you, resolve right now to thank her. Thank her for convincing you to get an implant. thank her for showing you what a cunt she is before you got too involved then thank God that you live in a time and place that you can get it fixed.


LOVE IT! Thank you buddy ......


..... what are your thoughts on dating until I get it done...could be some months in between


I didn't but that is me. I think it depends on how comfortable you will be in potentially awkward situations and how comfortable you are discussing your ED with potential partners. I'm not but that is me.
At 6 weeks I am looking around for potential partners because I am anxious to use this thing.
57, not married, Peyronies Disease in 2014, plication surgery 2016, failed, grafted in 2016, implant Dec. 27 2018. Titan 20cm +1RTE

QuestionGuy
Posts: 116
Joined: Tue Sep 22, 2015 6:50 pm

Re: How to get over getting dumped, to date or not to

Postby QuestionGuy » Sun Feb 10, 2019 2:37 pm

I think I am someone that this board would consider a "player" . . . so Ill respond with my opinion: If I were not in a solid relationship when I went to be implanted, I would sit on the sidelines and work out all the bugs before I ever considered bringing a female into the equation. The exception would be a professional escort, or if you have FWB’s or FB’s (or as we used to call them : “lovers”) . but start a new relationship with a new gal and then try to overlay your surgery on the already existing stress of the two of you “vetting” each other? Why put yourself through that? And make no mistake: you cannot go back and start over with a woman once you’ve done anything to be seen as “weak” in her eyes. At that point the horses have left the barn.

Frequently women are painted as “paragons of virtue”, who will “love you for you” and don't care about the physical aspect of the relationship. I think the situation is different for the guys here in long term committed relationships, with a partner with whom they are "in this together"..... But for the guys in the singles scene, it is different, and some of the concerns men have with respect to ED and implants are valid. .....Since i started having ED issues 10 years ago, i have been asked to leave and been ghosted by 6 different women when i could not perform. This was tough medicine to swallow ....because in my younger years, I occasionally went to bed with women who had poured themselves into ridged shapewear or girdles, and when the "big night" arrived, some of them had bodies that were literally deformed. I knew they were “dying a thousand deaths”, anticipating my reaction, and I also knew that “as a decent human being” I needed to act as if nothing at all was out of order....and I proceeded on, and went out of my way to make them feel desirable. Seems like common courtesy ...right? In fairness to the women who will dump you though: I think part of it is : they tend to think the erection is some kind of lie detector to gauge how desirable you REALLY find them PERSONALLY. Like if you were with a hotter chick you would immediately get rock hard. So their ego is invested in the situation.

So I’d say be realistic when it comes to women. Deal with the situation “the way it is” and not “the way we would like it to be”.
I'm 55. PostFinasterideSyndrome/Peyronies . Initially had good erections but numbness. Now erections are compromised, but good sensitivity. I see Dr. Irwin Goldstein and do : TRIMIX-Clomiphene-Arimidex –Cabergoline -Cialis -Traction-VED-Pshot-gainswave

needhelp
Posts: 202
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:07 pm

Re: How to get over getting dumped, to date or not to

Postby needhelp » Sun Feb 10, 2019 3:06 pm

QuestionGuy wrote:I think I am someone that this board would consider a "player" . . . so Ill respond with my opinion: If I were not in a solid relationship when I went to be implanted, I would sit on the sidelines and work out all the bugs before I ever considered bringing a female into the equation. The exception would be a professional escort, or if you have FWB’s or FB’s (or as we used to call them : “lovers”) . but start a new relationship with a new gal and then try to overlay your surgery on the already existing stress of the two of you “vetting” each other? Why put yourself through that? And make no mistake: you cannot go back and start over with a woman once you’ve done anything to be seen as “weak” in her eyes. At that point the horses have left the barn.

Frequently women are painted as “paragons of virtue”, who will “love you for you” and don't care about the physical aspect of the relationship. I think the situation is different for the guys here in long term committed relationships, with a partner with whom they are "in this together"..... But for the guys in the singles scene, it is different, and some of the concerns men have with respect to ED and implants are valid. .....Since i started having ED issues 10 years ago, i have been asked to leave and been ghosted by 6 different women when i could not perform. This was tough medicine to swallow ....because in my younger years, I occasionally went to bed with women who had poured themselves into ridged shapewear or girdles, and when the "big night" arrived, some of them had bodies that were literally deformed. I knew they were “dying a thousand deaths”, anticipating my reaction, and I also knew that “as a decent human being” I needed to act as if nothing at all was out of order....and I proceeded on, and went out of my way to make them feel desirable. Seems like common courtesy ...right? In fairness to the women who will dump you though: I think part of it is : they tend to think the erection is some kind of lie detector to gauge how desirable you REALLY find them PERSONALLY. Like if you were with a hotter chick you would immediately get rock hard. So their ego is invested in the situation.

So I’d say be realistic when it comes to women. Deal with the situation “the way it is” and not “the way we would like it to be”.


Thank you.... i appreciate your support
61 years old, single, Charlotte NC, Had a penile fracture. Implant scheduled for April 17. Dr Terlecki Winston-Salem, NC


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