HELLO EVERYONE!!!!Well shit, it's been 8 almost 9 months since I wrote an update on this site
My last post in this Journal was a seemingly great breakthrough.
I was able to give my girlfriend an orgasm with my Implant.
The celebration was short lived unfortunately.
As we all know, an implant won't fix a relationship.
We got too far into our heads during or leading up to sex and were just never comfortable again.
Seeing a sex/relationship therapist didn't help much and may have made things worse.
I think my ex was starting to understand that a lot of this was on her and her negativity/depression/standoffishness and she couldn't handle that.
She didn't want to (and probably never will) accept that she can be a very cold person.
Anyway we couldn't communicate our needs, we couldn't meet each other's needs, the relationship spiraled into essentially a boring, meaningless, frustrating friendship.
Even worse was the fact that lack of sex started making me cum way way too fast in the rare chance we did try to have sex.
We're talking 45 seconds to orgasm.
It was a painful thing to do but I did end our relationship and she moved out a couple months ago.
Hoping she finds what she needs and I'm working on myself now too.
I think all those months of therapy and shit just underlined how incompatible we had become and that in turn made me avoid this site.
I felt like I failed. I failed myself, I failed everyone here. My girlfriend never really approached sex the same way after the implant.
Because I could get an erection at the drop of a hat, it was like she would just lay and wait for me to pleasure her limp body.
Like she didn't have to engage me at all in the process.
Which was a major turn off to me!
Well I've met a girl about a month ago. We've had sex a few times and she's astonished.
I gave her the first internal orgasm she's had in over a year.
I never thought there was anything wrong with my dick, I just felt ashamed that I couldn't get on the same wavelength as my crazy ex girlfriend.
When you love someone, you want to please them in every aspect of life. We had a good friendship, she was my best friend.
But when you try so hard and want someone to feel pleasure and can't get them to, I just had to let it go. I couldn't live like that.
It was so depressing and dejecting and heartbreaking.
I'm glad I've found reassurance from this new girl, she's an angel.
My confidence is higher, my appetite for sex is way higher, things are firing on all cylinders for sure.
Much happier these days
there were so many mindfucks going on with the ex-relationship, I won't go into detail here but man.
I'm glad to be past it.
I'm glad to be back on here!!!
I am sorry for ghosting for so long!!!
I'll close with a few thoughts/reflections regarding my experience with the implant so far:
1.) I thought I wouldn't be able to get random chubbies, turns out you still can with an implant!
2.) Sometimes that chubby tho comes from a little backwash, sort of pushing fluid into the cylinders when there's pressure on the reservoir. From activities that engage your core.
I haven't had any embarassing gym moments or anything but it seems the mechanism that keeps you deflated sometimes does let some back in....
3.) I still do feel a bit more sensative than I used to. My glans in particular. Kinda had a "duh" moment, I can use desensitizing spray which helps a lot (but not too much) to numb the sensitive bits.
Also having more frequent sex has already helped in the sensitivity department. Turns out once a month makes you super prone to spurt early.
4.) Girls don't really give a shit about the implant. Post-relationship; I've had 2 sexual partners. The first I didn't tell about it cuz she was sort of a weird judgy past-fuckbuddy and if she asked about it I would've told her.
I remember her sucking on my scrotum too, I wonder if she noticed the pump lmao. The second we were in bed naked and I said, I have a bit of a trick up my sleeve to tell you about. I explained that due to some sports injuries and the like, my penis stopped getting hard, so after years of pills I finally got an implant. I just pump it up and it works and I told her that it wouldn't feel any different from a dick with no implant or a "normal" dick.... She just said that's cool, as long as it fucking works let's go! lol so I gave it about 15 pumps in 25-30 seconds and she went down on me for a bit and hopped on it. That was when she had her first internal orgasm in a year.... I came a few minutes after
5.) If you're in a relationship where sex is a struggle or you feel ashamed and your partner does NOT support you or make you feel sexy to try and help you feel better about yourself. Forget it. Implant won't help. If anything after you breakup with your partner and move on to a new one, then I'd say get an implant. For me, it was like she missed the old one, even though the implant worked fine and she could cum on it, she got too lost in her own worry and that made me worry and it all fell apart.
6.) Like the point above, do not expect an implant to fix a relationship. I wasn't living my best life, I wasn't living life for myself, I know that now, and I'm happy to be working towards a more positive sex life now!!!