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Motivation and the man: the spark behind your drive

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 1:45 am
by TANGERINE
When I was pondering the option of having surgery to go bionic, my wife stated that she wanted me to see a psychologist, just in case my erectile dysfunction was psyche related. My urologist quickly put the brakes on that since he said that "if your ED was due to psyche reasons, then that large dose of injected quad mix absolutely would have worked marvelously."

The idea of assessing your psychological profile before facing life-changing surgery reminds me of the psyche tests commonly done for men who request transgender surgery. I recently read that if a man wants to have surgery to change over to a woman, then one of the questions that the psychologist asks is: "Do you ever have the desire to mount females ?" Men who still have the desire to mount are pretty much disqualified from transgender surgery; since, at their core, they are still driven by male instincts.

And that brings us to an interesting quote by LMCatman:

"How bad do you want it ?”

LMCatman July 18, 2017

In my opinion, LMCatman's quote is almost Shakespearean in depth. There are so many ways of looking at that statement. Maybe LMCatman means "how bad do you want pussy?” or "how bad do you want to mount?" or "how bad do you want to stay in the mating game?" or "how bad do you want to regain your youth?" or "how bad do you want to restore your manhood ?" etc etc etc. My analysis is that some men derive a very large part of their identity from being a sexual being; and to say it bluntly, sexual being for many of us means "mounting and thrusting."

Guys who are bionic, I think, are on the far end of deriving identity and self esteem from their ability to have sex. Otherwise, they would not have gone through the pain and risks of surgery.

For me, a major part of my motivation derives from the desire to have sex. It has been that way for me since puberty. This has never changed.

Recently, a girlfriend of a man pondering going bionic stated:
jackhammerdreamz states:

Interesting point my gf brought up today.

She wondered if the "solution" wasn't an implant but just "forgetting about my dick" and pleasing her in other ways.
I don't think she understood the worry, anxiety, self-loathing, depression behind ED.


Wow jackhammer, your girlfriend brings up quite a point. There are actually men out there who would be fine to give up penis sex, and settle for "pleasing women in other ways." In fact, many men with ED learn to accept it and they learn to move on to other pursuits such as hobbies like golf, boats, jogging etc.

For me, that concept was completely unpalatable. For me, a primary feature of my self identity has been to be sexually active, in as excellent and prodigious way possible. And that is why I decided to go for the implant. Yup, it was scary, but without sex, life is....dull.

Brothers, please respond with your thoughts about “manhood” and “sex drive and motivation” and the Shakespearean LMCatman “How bad do you want it ?”

Thanks, TANGERINE

PS: I know this was rather heady, so here is a little joke (pertinent for us males)

JOKE.
Question: ”Why do many men name their penis ?”
Answer: “Well, you wouldn’t want 90% of your decisions made by a complete stranger, now would you !”

Re: Motivation and the man: the spark behind your drive

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 3:06 am
by newtoed
Great post!
I was with the same woman for 20 years and our sex life got pretty dull. Never experienced ED with her at all. After divorce I had partial ED which I didn’t understand, I was 43. Took Levitra for another 5 years and had an amazing sex life until rectal cancer completed my ED.

During my marriage’s bad period I felt castrated, didn’t feel like a man even though I was capable of having erections. The bad connection took away my sense of manhood. When I got single my decade long depression disappeared and probably the first time in my life I felt happy even though I was taking pills.

I got married again then had cancer and due to my complete ED and the cancer I ended up the same way: depressed and like castreted.

When I became single again pills only worked partially and I was very frustrated and I started Trimix. Now I’m happy and satisfied again. I got my life back again. I’m incredibly happy even though I have several side effect from my cancer treatment, a big scar, no naval, no butt hole and a colostomy bag. I feel unstoppable. I can meet and have girlfriends half of my age and keep them and myself completely satisfied.

Can’t imagine life without women companion and sex. I would be depressed and without motivation. I have done and will do anything to have erection. If Implant’s will be needed I won’t hesitate at all especially reading about the mostly great experiences here.
All the best!

Re: Motivation and the man: the spark behind your drive

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 12:20 pm
by jackhammerdreamz
TANGERINE!

I'm honored to have been quoted :D

I was struggling to quantify the need for me to get over ED to feel whole.
The answer to "Why not just satisfy me in other ways?"
Her and I have discussed this before. I'd try to keep positive about giving her pleasure.
I ENJOY giving her pleasure no doubt. But there's still this disconnect with it.
It's like the pendulum just swings to the other side.
It's all her enjoyment whereas me getting the elusive boner from a pill makes me skip foreplay and try to fuck and cum before it goes away.
I miss the days where both of us could have pleasure together (when the pills worked)

The implant is extreme no doubt, and I explained to her how the implant will reduce this pendulum swing. We will BOTH enjoy sex again at the same time!
Not worrying, fearing failure, anxiety, depression behind ED, is huge! It impacts all facets of life. (she still struggles with understanding the importance of a functioning penis)

So "how bad to you want it?"


I want it real fucking bad :lol:

I may have high hopes but I think of it like this; Having an erection on demand will mean:
1.) No fear of initiating intimacy because I can now perform at will.....
2.) Warm-up period i.e. foreplay has a bigger window because now I can be confident I won't lose my boner while playing with her. (I often am sexually aroused mentally but not physically.... ED is the worst!)
3.) Bigger foreplay window means she will more likely reach orgasm. Or have multiple orgasms.
4.) When sex starts, I don't have to keep hitting MY sweet-spot to keep an erection which means she can control her orgasmic positions. Positions she likes sometimes give me no feeling....
5.) With hitting my sweet-spot less I'll cum less quickly.
6.) going longer means she will have a bigger window for orgasm.
7.) If I DO cum, I can keep going until she cums too. (sex shouldn't stop after the man cums but too often it does)

I mean it all seems like a win win win to me lol.

She did ask what if I hate the way the implant feels.... Well I'll learn to adapt.
It will change the way things feel, but I am very confident we will both be able to adjust.
My confidence going forward stems from this site no doubt. I appreciate all the words, comments, wisdom and advice I've received here.
Truly means the world.

Re: Motivation and the man: the spark behind your drive

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 1:17 pm
by Anonymous3
jackhammerdreamz wrote:TANGERINE!

I'm honored to have been quoted :D

I was struggling to quantify the need for me to get over ED to feel whole.
The answer to "Why not just satisfy me in other ways?"
Her and I have discussed this before. I'd try to keep positive about giving her pleasure.
I ENJOY giving her pleasure no doubt. But there's still this disconnect with it.
It's like the pendulum just swings to the other side.
It's all her enjoyment whereas me getting the elusive boner from a pill makes me skip foreplay and try to fuck and cum before it goes away.
I miss the days where both of us could have pleasure together (when the pills worked)

The implant is extreme no doubt, and I explained to her how the implant will reduce this pendulum swing. We will BOTH enjoy sex again at the same time!
Not worrying, fearing failure, anxiety, depression behind ED, is huge! It impacts all facets of life. (she still struggles with understanding the importance of a functioning penis)

So "how bad to you want it?"


I want it real fucking bad :lol:

I may have high hopes but I think of it like this; Having an erection on demand will mean:
1.) No fear of initiating intimacy because I can now perform at will.....
2.) Warm-up period i.e. foreplay has a bigger window because now I can be confident I won't lose my boner while playing with her. (I often am sexually aroused mentally but not physically.... ED is the worst!)
3.) Bigger foreplay window means she will more likely reach orgasm. Or have multiple orgasms.
4.) When sex starts, I don't have to keep hitting MY sweet-spot to keep an erection which means she can control her orgasmic positions. Positions she likes sometimes give me no feeling....
5.) With hitting my sweet-spot less I'll cum less quickly.
6.) going longer means she will have a bigger window for orgasm.
7.) If I DO cum, I can keep going until she cums too. (sex shouldn't stop after the man cums but too often it does)

I mean it all seems like a win win win to me lol.

She did ask what if I hate the way the implant feels.... Well I'll learn to adapt.
It will change the way things feel, but I am very confident we will both be able to adjust.
My confidence going forward stems from this site no doubt. I appreciate all the words, comments, wisdom and advice I've received here.
Truly means the world.

When the surgery? You know after the implant no sex for a while

Re: Motivation and the man: the spark behind your drive

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 3:32 pm
by jackhammerdreamz
When the surgery? You know after the implant no sex for a while


Will be February 6th!
With no sex for at least a month.
Between now and March I will be working on pleasuring her ;)

Happy Friday everyone!

Re: Motivation and the man: the spark behind your drive

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 3:38 pm
by Anonymous3
jackhammerdreamz wrote:
When the surgery? You know after the implant no sex for a while


Will be February 6th!
With no sex for at least a month.
Between now and March I will be working on pleasuring her ;)

Happy Friday everyone!

Plan on 6 weeks for no sex

Re: Motivation and the man: the spark behind your drive

Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2017 8:19 pm
by Donnie1954
My surgery was letter perfect. 27 days later I was back in business. Not all cases are the same.
Donnie

Re: Motivation and the man: the spark behind your drive

Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2017 7:52 am
by David_R
Years and years ago it was assumed that the vast majority of E.D. sufferers were because of psychological issues, with only a small minority caused by physical issues. But nowadays that has been reversed: It is a confirmed fact that the majority of E.D. sufferers are because of physical issues, with only a small minority caused by psychological issues.

Re: Motivation and the man: the spark behind your drive

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 2:41 am
by jackhammerdreamz
ddbryan1972 wrote:My surgery was letter perfect. 27 days later I was back in business. Not all cases are the same.
Donnie


I'll definitely be taking it easy and not trying to rush anything. Healing will be 100% before I try to have sex.

Re: Motivation and the man: the spark behind your drive

Posted: Sun Nov 19, 2017 7:30 am
by Donnie1954
Absolutely,
I didn't rush at all. I had infr pubic and was totally healed before we had sex. You do what works for you little brother. You'll be fine and very happy!
Donnie