FrankTalk.org

I had friends, some best friends shun me when I tell them I had to have an implant, and refuse to answer my emails, or acknowledge my surgery in any way. Some female friends (similar age as me, about 62) having had breast cancer, who regaled me with the minute details of their surgery and ultimate reconstruction, to the point of showing me the tattoo that now passes for a nipple, and are completely ignoring me when I turned to them for the same sympathy I gave them. Do you guys find that no one is willing to talk or email you back regarding having received an implant? You guys are the only ones I know who will talk about it, and I don't know any of you! I am starting to think that my definition of "friend", or at least "best friend", whether we're the same or opposite genders, includes "can talk about ANY topic that either of us needs to talk about; nothing is TMI (too much information)".

I guess using that definition, I have no friends. It's been very disappointing.

With friends like that you don't need any enemies. I personally never felt any need to volunteer to anybody that I had implant surgery, but I'm sure if I had, they would not shun me or fail to respond. I can't imagine what's going on with your acquaintances.

My wife for some reason has sworn me to secrecy about this with any of our friends or family, so I can't add much. The two friends I have told (male - my eye doc and my accountant, both of whom have had prostatectomies) were fine with it, and quite curious.
I also have a new friend locally whom I met through this site. He did a show and tell before I made my decision and was available any time. We have become friends and he continues to be extremely helpful to me.
Bob 2.1

Michael,

you will find that many if not all of us here will talk with you about things both having and not having to do with your implant and our implants and other items.

We are brothers here, joined by the common bond of ED.

I find that unless they have been there, many men find talking openly and truthfully about anything sexual in nature is somewhat of a painful experience, locker room bragging doesn't count. Anything impacting individual sexuality can come to close to the ego for comfort.

This inability to talk about things that come to close to home is why men's issues get less funding and support than the equivalent women's issues. What man wants to and admit he has erectile dysfunction issues? If you talk about it, it might come to visit you.

David

My experience has been this whole damn subject is TMI.

I tried to let a "good" female friend know I was seeing a urologist to get some "male issues" fixed ... not so much for sympathy, but to maybe just explain my chronically single situation to her a bit more. Big mistake. Haven't heard boo in 6 months (texts are responded to by email explaining how busy she is ... if at all).

So all I can say is thank God I found this FrankTalk site or I'd be going completely wacko by now.

It is very disappointing ... but the guys on this site seem to be some kind of silver lining.

Men with penile implants have always been "othered" and bore the brunt of jokes. Maybe things will change in the future like the acceptance of Viagra has . This is the only minority left in this country that's politically ok to ridicule. My wife is a nurse, she says it's always a joke with some when they see one on a patients chart .

Its unfortunate that others are uncomfortable with the subject. Uncomfortable to the point where i choose to keep the implant surgery between me and my wife. Just felt others would not understand and i would only have to justify my decision and answer stupid questions. So i, like others am thankful for FT and the brothers i can openly communicate with. We find solace in each other. A support group of total strangers. You guys are great. Dont know what i would do without the support !
Bandit

If it is women joking, it's jealousy that they don't have a "magic man".

I told my best friend when I was having surgery. The response I got was cold sober no response at all. Not one question not I hope things went well so sorry you've had the problem. Absolutely nothing. It was an eye opening experience.

I haven't been implanted yet...BUT...I have a plan that I feel comfortable telling future sex partners. I'm just going to blame it on something than just ED. I'd like to say something like I had testicular cancer which is to blame for my ED. I'm sure 99% of future partners would accept this and just lay down and enjoy my bionic dick. But I've read so many things on here where it's really not an issue with most partners. If they do...I'll just move on and find someone else who will appreciate a hard dick for as long as they want and as many times as they want.