FrankTalk.org

Hello everybody,

I'm Defiant and I'm from the UK.

To keep this LONG story short - I have been told I have psychological ED by two separate andrologists and I have been receiving psychological therapy, on and off for a while now. I am 33.

Today I had a realisation - I am wasting my life. I remain with the same girlfriend who I don't love, who I know isn't the one - out of fear. Fear of having no one who will understand my problem - that I need to take pills, see a therapist, fail from time to time. I am a good looking young man and I firmly believe without wanting to sound arrogant I could be with any woman I desired. But I am afraid. I lack confidence, self-esteem and my mind is fraught with psychological horrors that stem mainly from this inability I have to get and stay hard.

I'm done.

I want to get the implant. I do not see it as such a huge deal or something to fear. I see it as a life-saver. I know I need to do a lot more research and that's why I'm here but at the crux of this issue is my well-being and ultimately my chances for true happiness and fulfilment.

I do not want injections. I do not want to insert things in my urethra. I do not want to use a damn pump. With all due respect to those that do - I do not see this as any real way to live. I have been fighting this issue now for over a DECADE with no sign of progress but rather slow but gradual mental and physical decline. NO MORE!

I want to hear from you! Please! Help your brother out!

There is a plethora of information here but I want to hear your thoughts with particular regard to someone like me, i.e. with paralysing and life-stealing anxiety and inability to perform 'normally' despite years of trying to rid myself of it.

I would love to WhatsApp with anyone that is willing to do so - I am based in the UK. So please please DM me if you don't mind this. I really want to know the pros, cons, good bits, bad bits, things to look out for, things to research, to ask, to be aware of.

So please, send me a DM or reply here with any general advice you may have for me!

All the very best!
Defiant.

Shortly after my RP, my urologist to me I'd never have another erection unless I had an implant. He showed me one and I thought 'damn, that's gotta really hurt'! 2.5 years followed of eating pussy and "limp dick blowjobs" until I was willing to make the leap. All didn't go as I hoped, but I could fuck!!! Now on my third implant, I'm happier than I could have ever imagined. Go for it guy....

Defiant,
Welcome. You've come to the right place. I can't address specifics right now, but you also asked for thoughts in general, and here are mine:
1. What, really, do you have to lose? Seems to me the things you are so distraught about are the things you'll lose.
2. Life is short, and meant to be lived. Sex is not just some fun thing to do. It's a deep part of who we are, and can become a major (and perhaps unhealthy) part of our self image. An implant will not make you anything you're not, but it can free you from all this negativity that might prevent you from being fully you.
3. My circumstances pretty much made my decision for me. The struggle was to accept it, and once I did, it was like stepping in to a new adventure. It's still an adventure.
4. It takes wisdom to know the difference between what you can and cannot change, and courage to change the things you can. It sounds like your wisdom is telling you what to do. I hope your decision is based upon courage, and not resignation.
5. This site is full of great men who are willing to share their experiences, fears, joys and insights about this terribly personal matter. I think you'll find a lot of help here.

Bob 2.0

I would definitely at least use pills as long as they work. If you haven't already.

Tenk11 wrote:I would definitely at least use pills as long as they work. If you haven't already.

I was expecting to read someone say that and thank you so much for your input. I've been using pills now for close to ten years at my age of 33! I go into every sexual encounter with huge amounts of anxiety and it's almost crippling. It steals from the magic of stress free sex. The dependency upon pills fills me with dread for the future and all thing while I'm thinking, I'm losing time here! I see a solution, a permanent one. And I have no issues with being bionic. It fascinates me but of course I know there will be prices to be paid. Hence why I'm here to find out more. But I'm done living this way, man!

Hello man im also young guy who has ed problem but im functional if i dont give a fuck and relax in front of the girl .im not happy with my eq but i can have good sex if im relaxed and not in fear becouse of my condition,condoms are problem and one night stands,thats why im meeting girls and hangout with them and when i feel comfortable i bite the bullet and tell them upfront and for now i didnt meet some girl who commented something negative about it(ofc i dont date all kinds io girls,often they are students and smart ones) so if you opend and you know how to pick and you have other qualities majority of girls want give a crap about my condition,i was in such a fear when my ed kicked in but first sex was started when i licked one girls pussy and thats really good way to start becose you can concentrate on her and forget about ed,you can tell her no penetration i will lick the fuck out of you,im sorry that you have this problem and you are.in vicious circle (i was there i know it lost of libido,depression fear,i also had girl who i dont love becose of fear)but lately i see life with diferent eyes and one quote witch really helps is !MEMENTO MORI, so telling girl about my problem is not a big deal when i remeber this qoute,time is really most precious and if you dont want or cant or not satisfied to do things mentioned above(after 10 years ia harder i guess)i advise you to get implant becouse time ia precious and all of ua are going to die someday and obviously you are not happy and you can change it,hang in ,best regards!

Larry - My advice is to get an implant as soon as you can. You will get you self confidence back as well as motivation to really live your life. Just think - you can have your dick hard for as long as you want, anytime you want, and you can fuck for as long as you want or as long as your body will hold up. I was in your shoes once, and tried all the so called remedies - none really worked. An implant DID. BIG TIME. Don't know if you have insurance or not. If you do, that's great - if not, I would guess your are looking at an outlay from 18k to 25k, depending on who you get. Look on the board here, and you will find many recommendations and also ask questions and get good advice from our fellow brothers here. Use the search box. The brothers here on the board could satisfy any woman on the planet, because their dick would remain hard. Don't hesitate, get moving on this project. You will be a happy, happy man.

Good Luck and Blessings to you,

Charlie

Defiant: If you can get your health insurance over there to pay for it, I'd certainly go for it. You will eventually get to a point where none of the pills work. When I got to that point, I skipped the injection phase...couldn't imagine a bigger buzzkill! Going bionic was one of THE best health moves I've ever made & would do it again in a New York (or London!) minute...

Defiant:
Yes ED messes with the mind. The doubt, the loss of confidence and the 'wondering, why me?'
Mate, even though you are young, an implant seems, from what you have written, to be your only option. Most men writing on here can sympathise with you because to a greater or lesser degree we have all been through the ED experience and guess what? We don't anymore!
Our stories are diverse but our theme is mostly common and united...amazing erections, renewed confidence and vitality and an ability to share our experiences here on FT.
Good luck young fella.....I hope you work it out

OK, I'll be contrary. Bear in mind that this site has essentially become an implant site so the advice you get may be skewed in that direction. At your age I wouldn't rush it because with current technology you'll be getting several implants over your lifespan as they wear out and once you turn that corner there's no going back. Slavicguy123's advice was golden. I'd also go for the injections but follow his suggestions knowing that when necessary you can resort to the injection. That should relieve some anxiety and possibly help ease your problem. I currently use injections. While they may not work forever I am fairly satisfied with the results.