Becoming Bionic

[PFracture]

Those are some excelent news,considering the path you have been traveling, c_lab! Amazing also Dr. Kramer's atitude and support. Looking forward for your future updates. Be strong!

[merrix]

Good to hear C_lab!

Seems you will eventually end up with good results as well. Happy for you. Good luck!

[alibaba]

Very good news C_lab. Sorry you have to do it over again but it sounds like Kramer wants to be an honorable guy and help you get it right.
Awesome on all fronts and hoping for the best! I've always felt that details and finish work are important. Sounds like you are set for the finest in finish. Cheers. 40+ days to total awesomeness. d

[C_lab34]

I really appreciate everyone's support. Things have been a bit more difficult than I anticipated but they are getting better, and I think will eventually be pretty much perfect. I still feel very fortunate to have found this forum, Dr. Kramer, and for the opportunity to achieve a functional sex life.

[merrix]

Things were more difficult than I thought too, even though I was lucky and didn't experience your degree of issues.
But it seems that after a slow start you're about to get it all sorted out - great!
All the best.

[C_lab34]

At five months out from my procedure, I have mixed feelings. I will first detail what I consider bad or questionable, and then I will get to the good.

The Bad:

My implant still hurts when I inflate past a certain point. I'm not just talking about soreness in the tips when inflating to the max without arousal. It's more like steady burning or stinging along the left corpus cavernosa when the implant starts to get really rigid. At best it is uncomfortable, at worst painful. As with pain in glans from the tips, it is worse without arousal. When I first started inflating, my right cylinder was kinked pretty badly even when hard, and though that has improved a lot, there is still just a slight kink on the right side. The cylinder seems slightly oversized, but given that it has improved as much as it has from the beginning, I think this could be totally resolved in the next few months.

I don't like the position of the pump and the tubing on my right side. The pump is high up in the scrotum, just underneath my penis, and the connecting tubing is stuck to the right hand side base of my penis. It can be clearly felt and has created a slight bulge on the right side where scar tissue has formed around it. Though it doesn't jump out at you, it's noticeable if you're looking for it. The pump feels awkward and is a source of frustration and discomfort. It is also jutting out in front of my testicles. I think the best possible placement would be much lower and behind the testicles for feel and aesthetics.

When inflated but not aroused, my girth is thicker at the base than it used to be, a little thinner at mid shaft, and much thinner near the glans. With arousal, I'm thicker at the base, just a hair thinner than pre op at mid shaft, and a little thinner near the glans. It looks a little weird to me, but I might be exaggerating the effect. Alibaba has described the shape of his own penis as a traffic cone, and that's exactly how I would describe mine as well. It tapers considerably from base to tip. When I could get an erection pre op, there was only about a half inch of difference in girth between the shaft just beneath the glans and the shaft at the base. In short, it was uniformly cylindrical. Now there is almost an inch and a half difference in girth between the two points. Sure, my base and the bottom third of my penis is wider, but at the cost of a weirdly narrow upper third. I don't like it.

When deflated, the tips of the device sink down into the shaft of my penis. Though I don't feel this when moving around, it isn't ideal, and feels uncomfortable when I touch it. I guess I can avoid the discomfort by just not touching it, but I still feel as though the tips should not slink down in the flaccid position into the shaft of the penis. When it comes to length, unaroused I am 3/4 of an inch shorter than pre op, and with arousal I am 1/4 of an inch shorter.

I'm still decently desensitized, though this has also improved from the early days of inflating. Initially I was pretty much totally numb when I first started inflated, and now I have decent sensation on the underside of the top third of my penis, and okay sensation along the top of the shaft. I'm still numb near the base on the underside. It takes a bit of effort to orgasm, but I can get there reliably. I think this will also continue to improve with time.

In April I went to Dr. Eid in New York to get a second opinion. It was an interesting visit. Immediately upon inflating my device he recommended a complete replacement. He wanted to put in a Coloplast Titan, and said that I should have never received an AMS. I have a CX. He said, and I quote, "you have a big penis." He was very nonchalant about the whole thing, and said it would be no big deal at all to fix everything and put in a much better device. I had been told by Kramer repeatedly that the CX would expand to fit any size penis. I told Dr. Eid what Kramer had said, and his succinct reply was, "it won't." At the time when I saw Eid, my cylinder tips had not yet worked themselves into the position they are in now, which probably made the result look worse. This aspect has improved since then, and I'll talk more about it in the good section.

Nevertheless, I came away from that consultation thinking that I could have had a much better result, but I was also suspicious of Eid's motive. Every doctor does what will bring them advantage, whether it's money or better reputation. Maybe Eid is just on Coloplast's payroll, and saw an opportunity to make some more money and further cement his reputation as the best. Maybe my best interests were not paramount in his thoughts. But, on the other hand, maybe he saw that I was genuinely underserved by the device I received and how it fit in my body, and thought he could honestly improve my quality of life with a relatively simple revision.

I didn't have to make a difficult decision because it turned out that my insurance didn't include Eid within my network. I don't have 22,000 dollars to spare, so a revision with Eid is currently impossible. I switched employers recently, my last insurance ended, and I will not have any insurance in July. I will have to wait until the next enrollment period to get on a new plan, which is in November.


I was slated to have a revision on june 15th with Kramer where he would replace the pump and maybe upsize the left cylinder, since it's shorter than the right. A week or so ago I asked him if he would be willing to do a full revision and swap out my CX for a Titan. He wasn't willing to do this. Probably it's good surgical sense. I decided that I didn't want another operation unless I was having the entire device replaced. It's just not worth it to me to be cut open again unless it's a major upgrade. So as of right now, I will live with the problems I have until I can get on a new insurance plan in November, and then I will examine my options. On to the good.

The Good

The implant gives me a hard penis that doesn't go limp or cause me anxiety during sex. I have the confidence to know that anytime I want to have sex, I'll be able to go for as long as I and my partner want to. I can be much more creative and spontaneous with my movements, and I feel much more present and relaxed. I believe that I am a better lover from first touch to orgasm because I no longer monitor myself and worry about whether or not I will get or stay hard. All the positions I was never able to enjoy are now available to me. I could never enjoy girl on top before, and that's been a lot fun. I could get never get in close and grind before because I needed a constant in and out motion to stay hard. Now I can really do anything that comes to mind, and it truly is a great feeling.

I think this has had a positive influence on other areas of my life. I think I feel more confident in general, more competent and easy going. I find that I don't get as irritable as easily, and have more fun in more casual circumstances. I can bullshit with people better and don't take myself as seriously in a negative way. Part of that could just be aging and maturity, but I think the newfound sexual abilities really help.

I do have a serious girlfriend, but I see other girls on the side too. It's a precarious arrangement but it's working out okay for now. So far, everyone I've been with has had nothing but really positive things to say about my dick and my abilities. My girlfriend loves the implant. She doesn't see or feel the imperfections. I'm told that I'm big often. It does make my ego swell and helps to compensate for the fact that I know I've lost a little size, or at least that the shape has changed and that I maybe didn't get quite the right device for my body. Women definitely don't notice the subtleties of penises that we men do, and of course their priorities are very different, but it's great to know that despite the problems I've had, on some level the procedure was a success and the women in my life are very happy with it.

My plan for now is to just wait things out and continue to check for improvements, and reconsider another operation once I have a new insurance plan. Until then I will make the best of things and continue to enjoy what I have, which is still a major improvement over years of frustration and anxiety. I still think Dr. Kramer did a lot for me, and was always responsive and helpful, but the device issue is something I'm just not sure about and will take some time to process and decide if I need to do anything else about.

[alibaba]

Interesting thoughts. Hope the job change was for the better and glad there has been some improvement. Keep it up.
Cheers and best of luck to you.
d

[PFracture]

What a nice and long update. I am on such a short time to post a proper reply, but I gotta say that you are very brave posting the details about the second opinion and what went on with Kramer. I hope it doesn't cause you trouble in the future. Also, while you wait, who knows if some things will improve, even if a bit?

[alibaba]

It does bother me that the doctors who are asked to fix lost length are always the ones who suggest a CX or a Titan. I keep having to ask how they think girth is going to make up for lost length. That lost length is not coming back with either. Certainly girth is important too. I feel like mine is so skinny now I can't even touch the sides of the vagina any more and the suggestion my wife have a vaginal plasty (sp) to reduce the size to fit my new dick? What the hell? The issue started with the dick being smaller. Dick fit that hole FINE, FABULOUS, TERRIFIC for 3 decades so the hole is not the problem. It is not what changed. Used to be that fore finger and thumb could not touch each other wrapped around this thing. Now the forefinger tip goes all the way around to the first knuckle on the thumb. Having held both AMS and Coloplast devices, they are tooth picks and fatty markers. It does not take much imagination to think the deflated size of a Titan is going to be the maximum size of an LGX. You have to wonder if the Titan is going to be the size of a sweet potato when pumped up considering the deflated size. From a mechanical standpoint and engineering wise, I have to think it is easier to make a device that gets bigger in girth than longer and more so to maintain a controlled expansion bidirectionally.

C_lab, I think I've said it before but again, even though you have your disappointments with yours, your comments about Kramer have been kind. Admittedly, he has offered to try to help and I think that is also honorable. It seems he genuinely wants to make it work, bad press or not, at least from an outside perspective only reading your posts. Certainly there are a lot of satisfied Kramer customers posted on FT. After many nights search here, I do not think Milam has made quite 50% by posts here. There seems to be no middle ground on his. Bad or great. At least on yours there is some middle ground in that he has accepted there is an issue and you do have some degree of satisfaction. Having conversed with Eid by email, it makes sense to me that he wants to replace everything. One you don't mix brands of parts, 2, it is the only way he can be assured the outcome, fit and operation of the unit is the way the way it suits him. If you read the product offerings by both companies, you can order the parts many ways and in many combinations. Personally I do not see how the pre-assembled implants fit more than 25% of the people properly considering how highly variable dicks are. I get the impression he operates like me. If I am not happy with something I feel like my customer won't be either. Maybe they would because they have lower expectations or expect less, or even have no idea what to expect, who knows? But I do not expect them to accept less than I think is best. Hopefully with all good graces Dr. Eid feels the same way. Considering the extra attention he gave Merrix, which may have been the way he checks on anyone for all we know, I think he is concerned about more than just a sale. May be a circus act but I don't feel it is. He has been spot on everything I've discussed with him.
Best luck to you. Sending you good spirits of more progress and happiness.

[merrix]

C_lab, I will not repeat here all I said in my long PM to you.
But as a summary to all others: Great to hear things are working decently, that you can still enjoy the implant despite its imperfections. Regarding your way forward, I think you are doing exactly the right thing. Wait and see.

However, in response to the discussion which has evolved here now, I want to say:
Of course Eid (or any other doctor) would not get in and start to change parts and add RTEs to another docs screwup.
If the second doc want to be able to guarantee his work is good, I am sure he would want to know exactly what is in there and how it is inserted. Only way for that is to do it all himself. That, I am sure, goes for Kramer as well when he gets patients coming in with other docs' screw ups.
I actually even have a vague memory of Eid telling me that if my implant would malfunction, he normally doesn't replace parts. Just changing it all. That may be financially driven or motivated by his beliefs on best outcome, lowest infection risk, risks for future malfunctions or whatever. Who knows. But from the patient's perspective, it doesn't cost any extra. Coloplast has a life long guarantee on the device, and Eid has a 10 year guarantee on his workmanship.
Besides, in this case, the implant inserted was against what Eid believes in. He believes AMS CX are inferior to Titans, especially for young guys with big dicks (i.e. C_lab), so of course he doesn't want to change details of a concept he doesn't believe in in the first place. What's strange with that? Whether his Titan vs CX preference is objectively right or wrong doesn't matter. He believes Titans are better for young, big dicks. Then he won't try to help one by sending him home with a revised CX of course.

And as for Kramer not wanting to replace it all, rather just changing bits and pieces, I don't know why. If that is what his patient wants, then why not? He can of course advice against it, but why refuse? Seems no other reason than ego for me. But then of course, there may be reasons beyond my understanding.

And finally, what I think is worth thinking a minute over is Kramer's swapping between brand preferences.
He used to do majority of Titans for years. Then, for a brief period of a few months, he sang the prayers of the CX and did mostly them. Now, he is back to doing mostly Titans again.
There are only two possible reasons to this change of preference:
1 - Financial, political, relationship issues with the two brands.
2 - He did think the Titan was best. Then changed his preference to AMS. But after using it for a while, he realized the AMS sucked in comparison to Titans and went back to his original preference again.

Conclusion of that:
Either financial incentives are the main driver of which implant he puts in his patients' dicks. Not his patients' anatomies, or which brand actually is the best.
Or, he genuinely uses what he thinks is best. If so, based on Kramer, AMS CX is inferior to Titan.

Which is it..?