My Journal

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.
merrix
Posts: 1185
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2015 1:08 am

Re: My Journal

Postby merrix » Mon Nov 04, 2019 11:25 pm

I get questions like the one below now and then. As I know that this is very typical questions, I thought I might as well answer it here instead of in a PM.

"Hi Merrix,

I read a few of your posts on implants and Dr. Eid and was hoping you could help me with an advice as our situations seems to be somewhat similar.

I am 35 and have been on sildenafil ever since I got married at 25. Before marriage and I could masturbate with no issues, but sex was not possible a few times I tried. I had 90% success with viagra in the past 10 years until it stopped working about 2 months ago. Nowadays I get some erection, but barely enough for penetration. About 50% of times I get no erection at all.

I tried VED but it did not work for me and was painful. I do not want to try injections, as even if they were effective this will lead to scarring and fibrosis at some point, which I want to avoid at such a young age. I still get good nocturnal erections though.

I am seriously considering an inflatable implant with Dr. Eid, but I am worried that doing it at such a young age I would need multiple revisions and it would lead to loss of length, numbness, scarring etc. Do you think I could have 3-4 more revisions without an issue?

If I had a complete ED, getting an implant would be a no brainer, but having good erections at night, being able to have good sex with viagra until recently it is a tough decision to make. On the other hand, I had no decent sex with my wife past two months and it feels terrible, especially with the libido I have at 35. My balls literally hurt from being full.

Feeling really down and confused. Please help.
"


Yes. Good questions, valid questions.
But instead of jumping in to statistics on infection rates for multiple revisions, and discussing how bad ED needs to be before going for implant, let's look at it from the helicopter perpspective first.

What is the option?
Think about it.
Yes, at 35 you will need revisions. I did it in my early forties, and I calculate on having to do a few revisions as well.
But so what?
Based on what you write, you cannot have sex anymore. Pills stopped working. Or your ED got worse, which means the effect from the pills are not enough anymore. Same shit.
You could not have sex with your wife for two months.

Then so what if you need a few revisions if you get implanted?
Are you going to sit there and say, for the rest of your life, that because you never got an implant, then: "Yes!! I never needed any implant revisions! Great!" But you will only be able to bang your wife once every six months when the pills luckily worked. For five minutes.

What is more important, being able to have sex or not having to do revisions?

I think the first question we all must ask ourselves in your situation is: Am I OK with the sexual performance I have now? If I can maintain what I have now for the rest of my life, is that ok?
If the answer is yes, I can live with this. It is not perfect, but it is within some reasonable standards, and at this level I will be ok, then fine. Don't risk the implant surgery and the following revisions.
But if you say that, fuck no, this is definitely not ok. It makes me feel miserable, it makes my wife feel miserable, and I know that this is not going to work in the long run - then you have to do something.
If that is moving on to another treatment instad of pills (e.g. injections), then so be it. But you have to do something.
And if the next step is implant, then so it is. Don't stay away from an implant you need because you are afraid of revisions.

It is like when people have miserable sex, but they hesitate to get implanted because they are afraid they will lose half an inch of length. I never understood the logic of that. What they say then is that it is better to have a dick that COULD be 5 inches when erect if it just could get hard (but it can't) than it is to have 4.5 inches rock hard whenever you want.

???????

Same logic with the revisions. So it is better to not have sex, or just having shitty sex once in a while, than it is to treat the problem and then having to do multipe surgeries to keep it that way?
If you really think so, then of course, go ahead with a sex-less life.
But if sex is important enough to have a surgery every ten years, then go the implant route.

Bottom line, we must stop comparing the implant to something we WISH we had, but don't actually have (i.e. a working penis), and start comparing the pros and cons of an implant with what we ACTUALLY have. Which in most cases is a crap dick which doesn't work as it should, or as it needs to for us to feel good overall.

And to go into some details, as you are young, you will most likely need more revisions than a guy who gets implanted at 75. All the more important to let a top surgeon do the work.
Infection risk is slightly higher with a revision than a virgin surgery.
Let's say they are double.
if you do 1+3 surgeries with a top surgeon (0.3% infection rates on virgin, 0.6% on revisions), then your chance of never getting infected is (1-0.003)*(1-0.006)^3 = 98%
If going with a low-volume surgeon who has a 1.5% virgin infection rate and 3% revision infection rate, you end up at (1-0.015)*(1-0.03)^3 = 90%.
So you will have 2% of getting infected with the top doc and 10% with the low-volume doc.
One might not think that 0.4% or 2% makes much of a difference. But in the long run, when doing multiple revisions, it sure does.
Do you research, look at infection statistics of the doctors you are considering. If thy don't keep any statistics, I'd stay away.

Good luck.
43 yo, ED forever from VL
Fit and active
Implanted December 2015
Titan XL 24 cm, no RTEs
Dr. Eid
Activated day 13
Sex after 3 weeks
Gained length and girth
So far It works perfectly
Only one advice: Find a world class surgeon

Smetro
Posts: 1192
Joined: Mon Dec 26, 2016 8:05 pm
Location: Australia

Re: My Journal

Postby Smetro » Tue Nov 05, 2019 2:18 am

Agree wholeheartedly
68,Titan Touch 22cm+1.5cm rte's op done in Melbourne Aust by Dr Chris Love-Feb 2017 Venous leakage over a 2 year period, did pills and Caverject. Length@ 3 1/2years is: 7+” erect, 6.5” flaccid and almost 6” girth. REZUM Feb 21 ejaculation now normal.

User avatar
Happy Toy
Posts: 1101
Joined: Fri May 11, 2018 9:30 am

Re: My Journal

Postby Happy Toy » Tue Nov 05, 2019 10:00 am

100% correct! Stay POSITIVE about the surgery both now and in the future. Best of luck to you and your decision.
Andy
Implanted 6/26/2018, Coloplast Titan 20cm, no RTE'S, infra pubic, Dr. Rhee, Kaiser :o 8-) 79yrs., married 56 yrs. ED for over 20 yrs.

Gt1956
Posts: 2859
Joined: Fri Apr 05, 2019 2:47 pm

Re: My Journal

Postby Gt1956 » Tue Nov 05, 2019 12:19 pm

Merrix, your logic is exactly right. I couldn't agree more.
These people that keep harping on the same points that you bring up just baffle me. If those points are deal breakers then what in the world are you wasting your time here for?
Hey, I like to walk but I own several cars. A new car comes with new tires. Tires wear out & need to be repaired or replaced. Is that a reason to not own a car. Of course not.
An implant is a man made mechanical device. They wear out & need repairs. That doesn't mean they are bad. They have a purpose for people that need them. If you need one, do your best to get one. You'll never be younger than you are now. The good sex that you are missing now can't be recovered. It is gone forever.
Bottom line. Almost everything in life needs repairs and/or replacements. Avoiding that reality isn't a very good way to lead a long happy life.
You post should be required reading. Thanks for posting it.
68yo, HBP at 40, high triglycerides at 45. Phimosis at 57. Type 2 at 60. Dr. William Brant May 1, 2023 CX 21cm w/no rte's penoscrotal 6" girth @ 6 months

LeRoastBeef
Posts: 678
Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2018 11:09 am

Re: My Journal

Postby LeRoastBeef » Tue Nov 05, 2019 2:10 pm

I think the reason that so many are reluctant to take the final step is denial, an irrational emotional response driven by fear.
We all do it, we all need a kick up the arse sometimes.
That's why you experienced chaps are so good at putting things in perspective, it's simple common sense advice, and it's just what we need to hear.

Your posts are always gold, Merrix. Right to the point with no punches pulled.
Implanted with AMS 700 lgx, 2021.
30's
UK

Greg1956
Posts: 1736
Joined: Sun Aug 06, 2017 8:35 am
Location: Atlanta, GA USA

Re: My Journal

Postby Greg1956 » Wed Nov 06, 2019 12:20 pm

Merrix,
I completely agree with your logic. I believe there are far too many men who are frustrated as hell not able to get hard. Yet, they think it is better to wait to avoid more revisions or they wait for some magical new device to replace the great products being used now. It is sad to see and hear the emotional toll dealing with these issues takes on men. My only regret with my implant is not getting it sooner. Like you, I have received quite a few PM’s from guys who seem very disheartened and even desperate. Thank you for all you do here.

Greg
I am 64 and had ED from a VL. Implanted by Dr. Ronald Anglade in Atlanta on 9/18/17. I have an AMS700LGX 21 cm via a Penoscrotal incision. Very happy with results. 6" soft and 6 3/4” x 5 5/8” hard.

merrix
Posts: 1185
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2015 1:08 am

Re: My Journal

Postby merrix » Fri Nov 08, 2019 3:56 am

Yes, I guess I regret not having it done sooner as well.
But it's hard to have regrets when I didn't even know they existed.

My main concern when deciding was not losing length, if it would be harder to orgasm, etc, etc. I could live with things not being perfect. It would still be better than what I had. As it turned out, things ended up perfect, and I didn't get any of the issues I was prepared to accept.

My concerns were two things:

1 - Infection. Getting an infection is, I guess, a disaster. Especially if you get one from a poor doc who can't save the situation as good as as it is possible. Double effect. Poor doc, higher risk of infection. Poor doc, worse effect of infection.

2 - Is an implant really a good option for me? Or is this some weird thing which will turn me into a freak which any woman under 40 will laugh their asses off when they see? Will sex even feel like the real thing? Will it look normal? Will I turn into a handicapped freak, or is this a legitmate tratment for a young, fit, healthy (physically AND mentally), sexually active (with healthy young women) man?
Or are the downsides too heavy, that this will only become an option when you cannot have sex at all, not for 30 seconds?
That's where FT was an enormous asset. I could read and learn. I could get information from real people who had one. Priceless.

Regarding my first concern, I just promised myself to do 100% within my powers to reduce the risk. I.e. doing the surgery with whomever I thought was the best on the planet. Saving on nothing. I was lucky to be in a position to be able to.

Turned out I did not get infected.
And turned out the implant is a viable option for the man I described above.
It is 100% definitely better than the torture of an unreliable crap dick.
43 yo, ED forever from VL
Fit and active
Implanted December 2015
Titan XL 24 cm, no RTEs
Dr. Eid
Activated day 13
Sex after 3 weeks
Gained length and girth
So far It works perfectly
Only one advice: Find a world class surgeon

User avatar
Happy Toy
Posts: 1101
Joined: Fri May 11, 2018 9:30 am

Re: My Journal

Postby Happy Toy » Fri Nov 08, 2019 9:50 am

100% correct! What good is a floppy dick to anyone including the owner? I am sure happy with my results.
Andy
flaccid sit 1.JPG
flaccid sit 1.JPG (234.39 KiB) Viewed 1271 times
erect4 good.JPG
erect4 good.JPG (119.07 KiB) Viewed 1271 times
Implanted 6/26/2018, Coloplast Titan 20cm, no RTE'S, infra pubic, Dr. Rhee, Kaiser :o 8-) 79yrs., married 56 yrs. ED for over 20 yrs.

merrix
Posts: 1185
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2015 1:08 am

Q&A

Postby merrix » Tue Dec 10, 2019 1:00 am

Got this on a PM, and since it is the typical question, I will reply here for any other interested to read

"hi Merrix,

We haven't talked on the forum, but wanted to thank you for all the great posts you've had on here over the years. I find your comments constructive and helpful, and have read through every post you've made in your journal a couple of times. It's been invaluable for me to understand implants and get comfortable with the idea.

I injured my penis in Feb and have been struggling with ED since. I've been doing every conservative treatment I can, but I continue to need a fair amount of stimulation to stay about 90% hard, even with 40 mg cialis.

I've met with Dr Eid in NYC and he agrees I'm a candidate, we've done the pre surgery measurement as well.

I'm still frankly scared of getting the surgery because we won't really know how good the outcome is until it's been done, and then there's no going back. I'm especially concerned about ensure I keep sensation, a full glans, and have a natural angle and hinge post surgery...basically I want to come away with what I had before the surgery, of course with having to pump.

With all that said, with your experience what would you do in my shoes? How long would you wait to have the surgery, and then what steps would you take with Dr Eid to ensure as good an outcome as possible?

I'd really appreciate any thoughts you may have,
"

This sure is normal thoughts and doubts. But I think there is some logical reasoning to take you through them.
Yes, we are all scared for this surgery. But focus on what you have and whether you are happy with that or not. Or rather how unhappy you are. You will not, as you say, know the oucome till after surgery. And there is no way back, no there isn't.
But there is no way back to your natural pre-ED days either. Right? You are stuck forever with what you have now. Nothing will get better. More likely, it will get worse with age and with tolerance against pills building up.
So answer this question honestly first:
Are you ok with what you have? Can you live with it? Can you accept that things don't work as well I want them to, but I am ok with it. I can accept it. It won't have a major negative impact on my life, my mental state, my ability to be a good husband, father, to make a carreer, to live a happy life or whatever is important to you in your life. And ask yourself if you can live with the quality of your sex life as it is now for the rest of your life.
If the answer is yes, then don't have the surgery. Don't take any risk if you are ok with what you have.

But - if you are not happy with your current state, then change your mindset.
Stop trying to compare the implant with what you had before ED. That is not the reference point anymore. Those days are gone. That dick is gone. Look down at what is hanging there now. How your dick performs now. How you perform in bed now. That is the reference point, nothing else. To say yes to an implant means you believe the implant will be better than what you have now, and that the implant will make you happier. And that that change will be worth the risk.
How do you know if it is worth the risk? First of all, going with Eid, the risk is minimal. Minimal. And also keep in mind that you probably wouldn't think of surgery risk much if you hurt your knee and needed surgery. You would just think that my knee is hurting, it is preventing me from living the lilfe I want to live, so I will have surgery to fix it.
Again, the key is if you are ok with what you have.

And I repeat myself here, but it cannot be said too many times. Don't compare the implant to what you HAD. Compare it to what you HAVE.
Sure, I would prefer a natural working dick to my implant. But I didn't have a normal, fully functional dick when got under the knife. I had a crap dick which always failed me without pills. And which didn't work well with pills either.
So just compare the downsides of an implant with the downsides of what you have now.
And my guess is the implant will come out on top. Sure, you must pump it up. It might set you up for some awkward situations some time, especially if dating or having one-night stands. You will need revisions down the road.
But what if you don't have the surgery?
Pumping up and staying hard as long as you want, being able to have sex in whatever way you want worry-free. Or not having to pump up, but instead fucking like a king for 2 minutes and seeing your dick going down and having to roll over and go to sleep?
Awkward.. yes, maybe it is awkward if your date sucks your balls and asks what the third hard nut is in your sack. But then you'll tell her you had some surgery and don't want to talk about it now, move on to fuck her really good.
That sure is less awkward than her sucking your dick for 5 minutes, then moving up to sit down on you only to find your dick has gone soft during the 5 seconds it took her to move in place.

So my advice is simply this:
Evaluate honestly where you are now. What you have. How it impacts your life. How important it is for you to be able to have sex without this burden.
Forget where you were before ED. That has nothing to with anything. Those days are gone and will never come back.
If you are ok with what you have, then stick with what you have.
If it makes you miserable, then have the surgery with Dr. Eid.
43 yo, ED forever from VL
Fit and active
Implanted December 2015
Titan XL 24 cm, no RTEs
Dr. Eid
Activated day 13
Sex after 3 weeks
Gained length and girth
So far It works perfectly
Only one advice: Find a world class surgeon

Gt1956
Posts: 2859
Joined: Fri Apr 05, 2019 2:47 pm

Re: My Journal

Postby Gt1956 » Tue Dec 10, 2019 1:44 am

Merrix, you are so correct. I'm puzzled every day by guys that want to compare an implant with memories of a years bye gone penis. That ship has sailed guys. There isn't a way to get it back. It is literally insane to worry about getting a dream that is gone back. Choose option #2, it isn't a bad choice. Even if it doesn't last forever. There is still revisions. I have yet to read of a member that wasn't able to get a revision because they have had too many already. The up side to a revision is that the surgery usually isn't nowhere as rough as the first one. Plus, drum roll please. You might even get a slightly larger implant out of the deal.
68yo, HBP at 40, high triglycerides at 45. Phimosis at 57. Type 2 at 60. Dr. William Brant May 1, 2023 CX 21cm w/no rte's penoscrotal 6" girth @ 6 months


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