My Journal

[merrix]

Thanks for all the time you spent on your journal. It was interesting following your progress day by day as well as the side topics. Have a safe journey home!

Thanks,

[merrix]

Day 14 post op

The story repeat itself. For me as for so many others.
Issues you think are something wrong, and you worry for it. But it turns out being nothing.

The latest one in my case: i was sure the Titan OTR (One Touch Release) was either a marketing gimmick or simply not working on my particular implant.
So far the only way I could deflate was to keep the release valve pressed for quite a long time while squeezing the penis the entire time. Squeezing the valve for that long was painful in the scrotal skin. Squeezing the penis for that long was painful in the penis.
This time I changed my grip when pressing the release valve and pressed harder. And it stayed open. The penis drained itself and I just squeezed in the end to get rid of the last leftovers.
Then, as Eid recommended to avoid autofill, I pressed the pump once to close the valve. He said the first pump after deflation, when the valve is open, should be harder and there should be a 'pop' when the valve closes and enters pump mode again. That was never the case so far for me. But this time it was clearly harder to squeeze that pump, and when I did, I felt the 'pop'.

Let's see if I imagined all this or if it will remain this way.

Anyway, the take home message to all newbies and wannabies out there is that by very high probability, the things you worry about - pain, swelling, how it looks, device function, etc, etc - give it time. Don't freak out. This is not experimental stuff. It's been around, it's proven. And if you picked a decent surgeon, risk that you are not going to end up just fine is minimal.

[alibaba]

Go forth and conquer. d

[merrix]

Day 22 post op

Made the first flight from New York to Frankfurt. The taxi ride from Manhattan to JFK, along with the checking in and security at JFK was a bit painful and I ended up taking a pain killer. On the other hand,
This was by far the longest time I've spent in an upright position since surgery. Once I got on the flight the flat bed seat did its job.

Main issue now is the flaccid state. I tried a couple of setups in the hotel before departing, and finally went with boxer briefs and jock straps on top to keep the penis tight and pointing up. Then went with loose cotton sports pants. Thought jeans would be too uncomfortable to sleep in during the flight.
The problem with the jock strap is that the waistband doesn't sit high enough. If I keep the penis below the waistband, it'll push the penis down and bend it which is definitely not comfortable. If I pull the waistband high, the jock strap will squeeze my balls and the pump in an uncomfortable way.
So I ended up removing the jock strap in a WC at JFK.

Then of course, my setup all of a sudden didn't work very well anymore... The boxer briefs I wore was of the looser type. And the dick was quite obvious through my pants...

Things went well at security at JFK, but the security in Frankfurt was another story. I fly in and out regularly of many of the world's major airports, and the germans are maybe top of the list in terms of strict airport security.
Knowing this, I made 100% sure I didn't wear anything which would be detected in the screening.
But even though the screener found nothing, the security guy decided to body search me. He went straight to the pockets of my loose pants. Starting from the hip, moving in till he touched my dick. Then he stopped and let me go...

Funny story when it happens once. Not as funny if it's going to happen every time considering I do >100 flights per year...

Anyway, the night at the NY-Frankfurt flight went well with without pain.
Making my way through Frankfurt airport (it's huge) to the lounge went well as well.

Lufthansa has a spa in this particular Gold Lounge, and I took the opportunity to get in a private room with a shower to get my cycling in...

Now having an early lunch and killing time with updating My Journal while I'm waiting for the next flight to Bangkok. Then a shorter flight and I'll be home.

More thoughts:
Eid was giving me a long, very detailed and techy explanation of his thoughts on the two brands of implants. He is clearly in favor of one of them as I think is well known from his web page and videos. I will not take the time here and now to explain in detail his reasoning, but rather note that the one advantage he sees with the other brand is the better flaccid. He is convinced though that in the end erection quality beats flaccid quality when it comes to customer satisfaction, but I am maybe prepared to think that even if the erection quality is lower, maybe it's good enough and the better flaccid is what tips the scale for the other brand?

No point in dwelling over that for me, I have what I have and it'll be good. I won't even know the end result of the flaccid till 6-12 months down the road I guess. And not of the erection quality and usability either.

Till next time. Now I'll have one more of those delicus german sausages.

[RelievedofED1]

Congrats on your first flights. I have to agree with you that it is too soon to tell re flaccid state in the future as even my AMS CX was much more stiff initially than it is now due to swelling and the fact Dr Kramer like Dr Eid did for you maxed out the size and the corpora have since stretched a bit to make room. I have had one minimal search flying with pat down but have gone through scanners in London and Paris and many US airports and no issues. Sounding more and more like you are another success story. Safe flights and congrats. Now get back to that sausage though somehow saying that and reading that on this site seems both appropriate and inappropriate at the same time.

[strongagain]

Till next time. Now I'll have a other of those delicus german sausages.

One sausage in your mouth resp. stomach - one in your boxer shorts

[Xomanow]

Day 22 post op

Till next time. Now I'll have one more of those delicus german sausages.

As the saying goes........"the wurst is over".......

[alibaba]

glad things went well so far. I think time will be in your favor flacid. Name something that does not sag when it gets old.......
Thank you for taking the time to post. I know the motel time is boring. I tend to pace the room and can walk miles in 1 room on the phone when cooped up though I know the pacing is not an option after this. It may not be good to cage a big dicked animal.
I have 5 pair of Erector briefs coming tomorrow. Hopefully that will take care of the upright position. If not, others have told me to go up one size on the jock strap. I gave my medium jocks away to some gay boys last week ( I do not want to know they were thrilled, but I do like wild colors) and replaced them with large instead of med. Med was 28 to 32" waist, large was 32 to 36" waist so there is an overlap is size. Since I am 32 there seemed no issue and I do believe they will work well. I've had a couple trial days with the up size and think they will work great and at least in my pre surgery condition, very comfortable versus the mediums.
Cheers and good will your way. d

[merrix]

Day 21 post op

Made it home. Now looking out over the swimming pool, palm trees, and a sun-glittering ocean from the floor-to-ceiling panorama windows of my living room. 33 deg Celcius (91 F) and I love this feeling. Being away makes me appreciate what I have all the more when I come back.

The trip went surprisingly well. No pain whatsoever after the initial pain during taxi from Manhattan to JFK and at JFK. Maybe some on the first flight as well (NY-Frankfurt). But the next long flight, Frankfurt-Bangkok was pain free, so was the transfer at Bangkok's shitty airport, and the last flight home.

A lot of thoughts running around in my head. Since most posts here at FT, in my opinion, are "Hallelujah the implant is the solution to all problems and makes life fantastic Amen", I am either just the odd one not being convinced or I am more of a frank talker than most. But for sure, I have my doubts. The feeling of having a prosthesis in the dick is going to take some time to get used to for me. The so called flaccid is definitely something to get used to as well. What I tell myself though is that so far I've only experienced the downsides.
The surgery and the recovery, the immediate (well 2 weeks for me) really bad pain. Terrible pain I would say in hindseight.
The doubts and uncertainty what the end result will be.
The early days flaccid which really is a problem. Where the F do I put it to feel comfortable and to not look like I have a boner? Probably pointing up, but that won't work very well with the clothes I usually wear. Modern style suits with low waist tightly fitted trousers and of course, the shirt tucked in. Low waist swimming shorts. Tight street shorts with a short tight T-shirt.
I just need to get to the stage where I can point it straight down with a bend backwards to the body (scrotum). That's the only way it is going to work. Otherwise it's going to be tough. I prefer 100% a big bulge in what at least is a natural flaccid position, than a dick that everyone can see either points straight up or towards one side. That can and will be suspected being a boner. . Not being able to wear a (nicely fitted) suit at work is not an option. It's a must. Not being able to wear good looking swim shorts will be a huge problem considering that I spend hours every weekend by the pool or on the beach.

But what I haven't yet experienced is the upside. The stress free, enjoyable sex. The joy of never having to feel like shit again after having a great night with my wife, having friends over, dinner, nice music, some drinks. Going to bed after all the guests are gone with great expectations from both of us. And unfortunately a worry from both uf us as well that things might not work tonight. And then the total disappointment when the crap-dick goes limp after five minutes. Thanks and good night honey. Better luck next time.

That's why I am still optimistic, and just keep telling myself that first of all it's way to early to say whether this was the right thing to do or not. I simply haven't seen the finished product yet. And till I have, I will stay in the optimistic mode and not let the doubts take over.

But anyway, at this stage, there are doubts. On the other hand, I know I was in a place didn't want to be before either. So where does that leave me? I can't choose the fantasy place - the natural dick which works great. It was ED or implant.

And, another note on the break-in needed for the pump: I really thought, as said before, that the OTR (One Touch Release) was a marketing hoax. I had to keep constant pressure on the release valve while squeezing the penis simultaneously. The deflation took 30-60 seconds. Then I got pissed off and pressed it as hard as I just could. Much harder than I ever thought could ever possibly be needed. And then that OTR function showed itself. The valve opened and stayed open. Enormous difference in ease of deflation. And then, as Eid recommended, give the pump one squeeze to lock the valve again in order to avoid auto-fill. And this first pump, to lock the release valve, takes some power as well.
I am a strong guy, having spent a lot of time in the gym the last 25 years. I know I am stronger than most people. And I still am amazed of the power that needs to be applied. I just didn't press that release button that hard simply because I thought that there is no way the design can require more force than what I already applied. But it did.
Now that I know what force it takes, it's no problem. But I can imagine that a lot of people must struggle in the beginning. It takes a good, firm and safe grip. Slipping when applying that force could cause some pretty bad pain to a testicle that would happen to get in the way...

And - another thing. I have, ever since I got rid of the F catheter three days post op, been pissing dark yellow urine. Even though I was drinking 3-4 liters of water per day, it didn't matter. My urine was still dark yellow. I normally drink a lot of water and normally my urine is very clear. I got afraid something was wrong. I had an idea that it was because of all the pain killers, and their effect on the kidneys. Basically been on them daily, in decreasing doses, all the way up till now. The last one I took now was in the cab from Manhattan to JFK, which was 33 hours ago. And just now, finally, my urine looked like normal again. One issue less to worry about...

22 hours till wife and daughter comes back from Scandinavia. Looking forward to see them, haven't seen them for 30 days now, as I left a week before the surgery for business. Miss them. We will have friday night, saturday and sunday till noon together before I leave on a business trip for four days.

I have told myself it's too early to have sex tomorrow. That'd be day 22. But I'm not sure I'll be able to resist the temptation to try. I want the sex and I want to start experience the upsides of the implant and not only the downsides as I have so far. But I also don't want to start off with a negative experience. As in having to disrupt the act because of pain.

We will see what happens.

Till next time.

[strongagain]

I had sex three weeks after the operation. It was sore of course but still great. After not even a minute I ejaculated, wow, that surprised me a lot. Now, after 4,5 months, there is no pain anymore and in a flacid state the dick points nicely to the ground - as before the op. But for more than three months it was quite visible. A lady looked at me and smiled, she even made a remark... But now it's fine.