Early 30s considering implant - MANY questions

[awf_1993]

Hey all,

32 year old straight guy here. I've suffered from and struggled with ED since I was 20 years old, and I basically don't even know what it feels like for my dick to be fully hard/erect. Even when masturbating solo, I can get to, like, *maybe* 60% hardness? It's hard to even know. I can get some blood to flow down there, and it gets larger, but not hard. The absolute hardest I can possibly get myself is still bendy and soft, often takes 5-10 minutes of zen-like concentration to achieve, and soon as I stop masturbating, it'll go right back down.

Sex is extremely difficult for me, and the few times I find myself in the situation, it becomes a stressful chore and a mental puzzle to figure out how to get juuuuust hard enough to enter. I do not know what actually satisfying sex feels like, and it's been like this since the beginning of my sex life - I can't tell you how many excuses and lies I've had to improvise an excuse/explanation in the moment as a young guy utterly perplexed why I wasn't getting hard *any* of the times I was getting intimate with women.

I've been on pills since 2016 - mostly daily tadalafil, generic viagra when needed - with diminishing returns over time. At this point the pills give maybe like a 10% boost, if they have any effect at all. Doc says it's my nervous system in a permanent state of fight or flight, and as such, my body is unable to allocate the resources and bloodflow to getting and sustaining a hardon since I'm always in survival mode.

However, this is all I know, and after a lot of researching and soul searching, it seems like biting the bullet and just getting an implant is actually the more reasonable solution to my dilemma than trying another decade of trying to somehow fix it naturally.

It's obviously a difficult problem to talk about, and even at urologists, I haven't been able to demonstrate, like, how quote-unquote "hard" I'm able to get, the circumstances needed to even get that hard, etc. If anyone is willing to talk and hear me out, that would be incredible. I have photos and videos that show the maximum "hardness" my still-not-rigid penis can achieve (but not maintain), and I'm basically wondering if my dreadful quarter-hard "erections" are similar to what those of you had before you were implanted, or if I'm still getting "hard enough" to technically not qualify for an implant.

I just can't fathom the prospect of living the rest of my life the same way the past 12 years have gone and I dream about the one day I'll actually be able to just enjoy and fully immerse myself in sexual pleasure without any of those other thoughts and stresses that have dictated the course of my love life.

So I ask you all, members of this forum, for help determining if I'm actually the kind of person these implants are meant for, even though I'm on the younger side, or if I'm way overthinking all of this. I have so, so, so many questions that I would love community input on.

Thanks to all for reading and for all who respond! This forum is a lifesaver.

[NYCGay]

Based on your description of the situation: No, you’re not just overthinking this. It’s not supposed to be “a stressful chore and a mental puzzle to figure out how to get juuuuust hard enough to enter.” You’re not having the sex life you would like to have, and it sounds unlikely that it will suddenly get better on it’s own. You have tried the pills, and they no longer work for you, so it’s time to explore other options. That probably means injections or an implant. I never liked the injections, but I do think it makes sense trying them before deciding to get an implant.

You probably also want to try to find out if your problem is psychological or physiological (or a combination). The Doc who said that you’re in a permanent state of fight or flight (psychological explanation), did he examine you to check if perhaps you actually have a veinous leak or some other physiological problem?

Even if your ED is psychological, an implant might still be the best solution, but it’s probably good to find out. Whether it’s psychological and physiological might also might affect insurance coverage (if that is an issue).

Find an implant surgeon. Have a consultation. Suggest that he prescribes injections for you. Try them, see if they work for you and how you like them, and then take it from there. But don’t just keep suffering year after year from not having a satisfying sex life. Sure, there are some downsides to having an implant, if you compare it with a perfectly functioning natural erection – but it’s infinitely better than never being able to get hard.

[LetoMan]

Just here to endorse NYCGay’s response. An implant might be right for you. You just want to make sure you understand what you are getting into before going through that door. My story is a lot like yours, had ED my whole life, wish I had gotten implanted a lot sooner.