Nervous about dating again: How to talk to new partners about the implant?

[SwissTalk]

Hi everyone,

I'm heading into a new chapter in my life and could use some perspective from the community.

I recently ended a four-year relationship. She was a wonderful and supportive partner, but we came to realize that we have different long-term expectations for our lives, and it was time to move on.

This eventually means I'll be re-entering the dating world at some point, which brings up a new consideration for me: dating with my inflatable penile implant.

My ex-partner was fantastic about it—she was with me during my original ED phase, so the implant was just part of our life together from the start. It was never an issue.

Now, I'm thinking about the future and what it will be like to meet someone new. For casual encounters, it's one thing, but my question is about when a relationship starts to get serious. Obviously, I'll need to explain that I have an implant and how it works.

I'm just wondering if the truth was a turn off for many women and made them run away. I'm sure my ex isn't the only supportive woman out there, but I have no experience in bringing this up "new" to someone.

This post goes out to any Frank Talk members who have found a new partner while already being implanted.

At what point did you decide to tell your new partner?

How did you frame the conversation, and how did they react? Any set backs?

(Yes I've tried searching for this topic but didn't find exactly what I was looking for in a timely way. I'd appreciate hearing about your experiences and any perspective you can offer.)

[ViaSwiss]

Hello Swiss,

I have had sex with around 5 or so women since getting implanted. Never once has someone questioned anything with me. I did end up telling one of them. After we had had sex a few times, I essentially just said "hey, I am bionic. I had an accident a few years ago that caused some ED, so I decided to get it fixed for good and now have an implant". She asked a few questions but didnt act like it was weird.

I have actually been dating someone for over a year now and still have not told her. I've been planning on it for a month or so just have not had the balls to tell her for some reason. I will very soon though. I know she wont care. She doesnt really ever touch my balls so that is why she probably hasnt questioned anything. Although she has made comments like "how does your dick stay hard even after we are done" lol. She is younger than me and hasnt slept with a ton of guys so I think she is sort of naive.

My was still with my ex-wife when I was initially interested in getting the implant. She was very weird about it and didnt want me to do it. That is probably why I am iffy about telling people right away whereas some of the other guys on this forum have no problem telling women right away.

[ElbowRoom]

I’m in a similar circumstance, my marriage is ending just as I got my implant. I have a few women I’m talking to now and two that I’d like to date.

I think I’m resolved to just being up front and honest with whoever I end up having sex with first. I think it will make things less stressful, and I assume most women would appreciate the honesty. If it blows up my chances then I will rethink that going forward, but for now I will go with honesty and see what happens.

[principles]

My honest advice is:

Do not tell them unless you’re both clearly, deeply committed to the relationship, if you even want to. Even then, I hardly think it’s worth it, especially if you’re younger.

Don’t give her one more thing to worry about or put another box on her checklist of “concerns/differences.”

I’ve had literally hundreds of women post-implant (zero bragging intended), it’s just volume. I’m currently single and I frequently hook up with multiple women every week. What you should do instead, if you want to conceal your pump, is simply say you don’t like your balls being played with the first time she goes for them. Say something like: “I’m very sensitive there, I really don’t like my balls being played with.” If she insists, fake some “sensitivity,” like you’re being tickled, and again, be assertive and say that it kills the mood for you. That’s all there is to it. She won’t push it again, it won’t become a thing. It’s over, move on, keep fucking her brains out. The last thing she’ll be thinking about, if you’re truly satisfying her, is the fact that you don’t like your balls being touched.

I do sympathize and relate to wanting to be transparent and have one less thing to be concerned about (as in, hiding something; we like being open). But there’s simply no real upside to telling strangers about your implant other than making you feel accepted. Accept it yourself. Let them wonder about your superpower of on-demand erections. You don’t show all your cards up front. It’s basic psychology. Make the best of it and play your cards in your favor.

I’ve had three relationships post-implant. The first one went through my first surgery/infection with me. It was great. She knew everything about it, stood by my side during the whole process, and we literally outfucked my first Titan. Great.

That relationship ended. A few months later I started dating another girl and we had a one-year relationship. Eventually, I had to tell her, since I had a malleable implant and decided to go back to the Titan, so there was no way I could hide the fact that I’d be out of the game for a month. I told her and she was supportive, but deep down I don’t think she really liked it. Eventually, when we broke up, she was very kind and said: “I have a suggestion for you: I wouldn’t mention your implant to whoever you end up dating for a very long time.” So that’s exactly what I did. I followed her advice.

My last relationship also lasted about a year. She was a medical doctor. At first she was curious about the fact that I didn’t like my balls being touched, but she accepted it and that was the end of it. She never had a clue I had an implant. Lesson: if you don’t let them feel your pump, they’ll have no clue you’re implanted. If you have zero engorgement in your glans (tips palpable), use tadalafil or a ring. Problem solved.

Also, your dating pool matters. You definitely don’t want to tell that to a 20-year-old, especially if you plan to intra-fuck her social circle. It’s one thing when you’re dating more mature women; it’s a completely different thing when you’re in the 20–30 age range.

Lastly, don’t rat yourself out. Keeping their hands off your balls and away from the pump is something you get better at with experience. Over time, you’ll naturally find ways to guide them and redirect touch so it never becomes an issue. You’ll figure out ways to conceal pump, and how to act so your device is basically invisible. I’m just trying to fast-forward that learning curve so you don’t expose yourself the first chance you get. With practice, all of this becomes second nature.