Did you tell your partner? Why? How?

[snake_jazzer]

Hi All,
I’m currently considering getting an implant and was curious to hear if everyone here openly communicated to their partner about getting or already having an implant.
I (37yo) am in a 3 months relationship with a (30yo) girl and things are getting pretty serious, but I am debating whether I should either hide it as a minor vascular surgery like varicocele (justifying the pump as a post-op cyst or stent), or fully disclose it this early in the relationship. Any advice would be immensely appreciated.

Edit: After your valuable feedback, this is how I will probably end up disclosing it:

“I’ve got a pretty common circulation issue down there that would cause problems later in life if I left it untreated, so I decided to finally get it sorted. It’s a very common procedure: they’ll replace two faulty veins and add a tiny sack that fills them when needed. It’s all inside, so you’d never even know it’s there. It’ll keep everything working perfectly, for life. It might only need a quick replacement every 5–10 years. I just wanted to mention it out of honesty and trust in you, even if it’s very personal.”

[ElbowRoom]

Hi All,
I’m currently considering getting an implant and was curious to hear if everyone here openly communicated to their partner about getting or already having an implant.
I (37yo) am in a 3 months relationship with a (30yo) girl and things are getting pretty serious, but I am debating whether I should either hide it as a minor vascular surgery like varicocele (justifying the pump as a post-op cyst or stent), or fully disclose it this early in the relationship. Any advice would be immensely appreciated.

If it’s three months in, and you’re exclusive and getting serious, I’d tell her, especially if she already knows you struggle with ED. Sharing that with her would also help build trust in the relationship.

Imagine the shoe on the other foot…you’re dating somebody for three months, and then she decides to have a surgery on her genitals and hides it from you. That would seem a little sketchy if you found out, and wouldn’t be good for the relationship at all.

[HikerMan]

If I was in a committed relationship I would disclose my status pretty early.
People aren't stupid, they will eventually see you run off to the bathroom to "chub up" or catch you squeezing your nuts on the regular.
I wouldn't chance it.

If I was single and banging different girls, I probably wouldn't say a word because inflating CAN be done covertly if done carefully enough.

Just my two cents.
But I would speak out sooner than later.

Best to you.

[LGXDownunder]

It was very easy for me. I've been married to my wife and sex partner for 47 years, so of course she's been involved and consulted at every step.
I agree with ElbowRoom and HikerMan. At your age and situation I understand your hesitation, but I think it's always best to be honest and upfront.
Of course I have no knowledge of the strength of your relationship. Only you can decide the best path for you.

[snake_jazzer]

Hi All,
I’m currently considering getting an implant and was curious to hear if everyone here openly communicated to their partner about getting or already having an implant.
I (37yo) am in a 3 months relationship with a (30yo) girl and things are getting pretty serious, but I am debating whether I should either hide it as a minor vascular surgery like varicocele (justifying the pump as a post-op cyst or stent), or fully disclose it this early in the relationship. Any advice would be immensely appreciated.

If it’s three months in, and you’re exclusive and getting serious, I’d tell her, especially if she already knows you struggle with ED. Sharing that with her would also help build trust in the relationship.

Imagine the shoe on the other foot…you’re dating somebody for three months, and then she decides to have a surgery on her genitals and hides it from you. That would seem a little sketchy if you found out, and wouldn’t be good for the relationship at all.

Thanks a lot for your feedback, it makes a lot of sense.

To be honest she doesn’t know I struggle with ED that much, as I still managed to have good erections 95% of the time as I failed twice out of 40/50 times with her so far.

The thing is, I’m at maximum PDE5 dosage (she's unaware of this) and I'm getting extremely stressed and depressed about the unreliability and lack of spontaneity.

I was thinking about telling her without getting too technical. Something along the lines of: hey you know I occasionally had circulation problems down there? Turns out I have two faulty "veins" that my doctor suggested to replace with artificial ones. It may look and feel a little different and it may need revision every few years, but we won’t face any more issues in the bedroom going forward. It will actually help quite a lot and prevent issues down the line.

What do you think?

[HikerMan]

Hi All,
I’m currently considering getting an implant and was curious to hear if everyone here openly communicated to their partner about getting or already having an implant.
I (37yo) am in a 3 months relationship with a (30yo) girl and things are getting pretty serious, but I am debating whether I should either hide it as a minor vascular surgery like varicocele (justifying the pump as a post-op cyst or stent), or fully disclose it this early in the relationship. Any advice would be immensely appreciated.

If it’s three months in, and you’re exclusive and getting serious, I’d tell her, especially if she already knows you struggle with ED. Sharing that with her would also help build trust in the relationship.

Imagine the shoe on the other foot…you’re dating somebody for three months, and then she decides to have a surgery on her genitals and hides it from you. That would seem a little sketchy if you found out, and wouldn’t be good for the relationship at all.

Thanks a lot for your feedback, it makes a lot of sense.

To be honest she doesn’t know I struggle with ED that much, as I still managed to have good erections 95% of the time as I failed twice out of 40/50 times with her so far.

The thing is, I’m at maximum PDE5 dosage (she's unaware of this) and I'm getting extremely stressed and depressed about the unreliability and lack of spontaneity.

I was thinking about telling her without getting too technical. Something along the lines of: hey you know I occasionally had circulation problems down there? Turns out I have two faulty "veins" that my doctor suggested to replace with artificial ones. It may look and feel a little different and it may need revision every few years, but we won’t face any more issues in the bedroom going forward. It will actually help quite a lot and prevent issues down the line.

What do you think?

Sounds perfect.
Good luck

[alans4570]

What's wrong with telling her the truth. If it were me, I would say " I have been having issues with ed and the medication. I am seriously thinking of getting an implant. I would like your thoughts and any questions you may have about this". Then I would take it from there. The truth is always better than 1/2 truth.

[snake_jazzer]

What's wrong with telling her the truth. If it were me, I would say " I have been having issues with ed and the medication. I am seriously thinking of getting an implant. I would like your thoughts and any questions you may have about this". Then I would take it from there. The truth is always better than 1/2 truth.

Thanks for your opinion, really!
I guess I’m afraid it would sound too “medical” and serious than a 30yo girl in a 3 months relationship can handle. I guess I would rather disclose it, yes, but keep it as casual and unconcerning as possible, if it makes any sense.

[Thisworld]

I perfectly agree on not sounding too medical or technical, saying "circulation issues" instead of "ED" seems good and keeping the whole talk light.

Also beware that usually titan pumps are said to be more loud than ams, if you still have to chose the model. Consider that

[Bigdog4all]

What's wrong with telling her the truth. If it were me, I would say " I have been having issues with ed and the medication. I am seriously thinking of getting an implant. I would like your thoughts and any questions you may have about this". Then I would take it from there. The truth is always better than 1/2 truth.

That's the truthful and mature thing to do. But if you are an immature "cock hound" and looking to bang any wet or dry hole, then keep it to yourself.