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So you thought it was you !

Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2024 7:17 pm
by Peter MI
A word to all of you considering an implant. Make absolutely certain that your wife or your significant other agrees 100% with your desire to get an implant. In my case the subject was discussed and begrudgeingly agreed upon. After being implanted and healing to a point where the equipment was functional, we had sex twice. Both times my wife had said that he had not climaxed like that in at least 5 years. I could tell that she was very happy with our decision to get the implant. Now 6 weeks after our last love making, she has gone ice cold !!!! Says that sex is not that important to her as it was when she was younger. My wife is only 59 years old. Had I known that this would be the outcome, I could have skipped the considerable pain and ongoing discomfort of the pump getting pinched constantly. Obviously I made the wrong decision.
BE SURE THAT YOU DON'T.....

Re: So you thought it was you !

Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2024 7:50 pm
by Rider1400
My marriage was struggling a lot and mostly because of my severe ED. She agreed with the surgery to implant and was by my side the whole way, even went with me 350 miles drive and drove me home the second day after. It was an adjustment to say the least for both of us… but, after the initial healing and I was able to use it to its full potential things really smoothed out with our relationship. We don’t have sex much more than before but when we do it’s much more quality sex and enjoyable time spent together. If you’re considering getting an implant it would be good to have your significant other on board, but I’ve read many stories about guys who’s spouses wasn’t on board and it all worked out… so don’t judge by any one persons experience.

Re: So you thought it was you !

Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2024 8:07 pm
by rdnkbiker
when i had my first implant I knew there was no sex in my future but i did it for me... ED is depressing works on your mind rather there is sex or not.....she was always there helping out....when I needed a revision she said better get it done and I did it's for my mental wellbeing... really to me has never had to do with sex I do still enjoy my implant and would do it again....she had breast cancer both removed she felt disfigured I said go get implants she did felt a lot better about herself....sometimes it not about we it's about me we need to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others...my 2 cents

Jim

Re: So you thought it was you !

Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2024 8:21 pm
by newbie443
I agree that this is something that we do for ourselves. I felt less than a complete man with my total ED. Just deciding to have the surgery and scheduling it was a great help to me. I was going to be whole again. But we are all different. Sorry for your bad feelings. I am much happier 24 7 since before implant. That part of me is back a works well.

Re: So you thought it was you !

Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2024 8:41 pm
by Lost Sheep
Peter MI wrote:A word to all of you considering an implant. Make absolutely certain that your wife or your significant other agrees 100% with your desire to get an implant. In my case the subject was discussed and begrudgeingly agreed upon. After being implanted and healing to a point where the equipment was functional, we had sex twice. Both times my wife had said that he had not climaxed like that in at least 5 years. I could tell that she was very happy with our decision to get the implant. Now 6 weeks after our last love making, she has gone ice cold !!!! Says that sex is not that important to her as it was when she was younger. My wife is only 59 years old. Had I known that this would be the outcome, I could have skipped the considerable pain and ongoing discomfort of the pump getting pinched constantly. Obviously I made the wrong decision.
BE SURE THAT YOU DON'T.....

Women around that age go through menopause and lose the hormones necessary to desire and to enjoy sex. The interplay between the desire for the intimacy of sex, the joy of sex, the discomfort of low-estrogen sex (which is very real) and the desire for simple physical intimacy (snuggling, touching, massage, etc) and the realization that "I'm getting older." turn many women off.

There are medical ways of reversing this and many, many women find sex even more enjoyable than before menopause because (to put it colloquially), "The baby buggy is gone but the play pen is still there." That is, the fear of pregnancy is gone but the ability to have se remains. It just has to have a little bit of the pre-menstrual hormonal balance restored.

Opening up a discussion on the matter could be tricky. That depends on the degree of transparency you have (and have had) with your wife. Suggesting, "Why don't you get a hormone shot so we can have sex." is probably not a good idea. But, "My love, a couple months ago you enjoyed our love-making. Our future years could be even better. Can we talk about what I can do to help?" The discussion will probably come around to vaginal dryness/discomfort during sex eventually. (You may have to endure an advice or two on your technique as well, so take notes and learn from her comments.) Use your best diplomatic skills and good luck.

Re: So you thought it was you !

Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2024 9:46 pm
by monkfroot
rdnkbiker wrote:when i had my first implant I knew there was no sex in my future but i did it for me... ED is depressing works on your mind rather there is sex or not.....she was always there helping out....when I needed a revision she said better get it done and I did it's for my mental wellbeing... really to me has never had to do with sex I do still enjoy my implant and would do it again....she had breast cancer both removed she felt disfigured I said go get implants she did felt a lot better about herself....sometimes it not about we it's about me we need to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others...my 2 cents

Jim


100% similar boat, but mine is toxic af...and doesn't know I did this.

Re: So you thought it was you !

Posted: Mon Apr 08, 2024 10:18 pm
by Txagq8
I have, in the past, occasionally noted the disparity between my sex drive and that of my wife. In our perfect worlds, I’d be getting laid 3 times a day and she’d be getting laid 3 times a year.

That being said I try to extract wisdom from whatever source available. Even The Rolling Stones. You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you’ll find, you get what you need.

I’ve found some success in romance. Unexpected little gifts. A surprise date now and then. Believe it or not, the best date in years was a couple of weeks back to the sheepdog trials, if you can believe that.

Let’s face it. We all age. Some fight it, some don’t. Some of those who fight win, some don’t. I’m a 68 year old in a high school quarterback’s body.

My wife of forever isn’t about to announce no more sex. But even if she did, and my implant quit, I’d get reinstalled. The ability to be erect is not without its importance to mental health. I don’t see it as a fake erection. I think of it as a hydraulically assisted boner.

Sexual frequency hasn’t been the only issue we’ve disagreed on and it won’t be the last. We’ve been on the same page on politics, child rearing, and money. Beyond those I can’t think of much we haven’t fought about. That’s why I love her. She’s a worthy adversary.

Re: So you thought it was you !

Posted: Tue Apr 09, 2024 5:17 pm
by Mark1974
Most women are turned off by the idea and they don't like having sex with men over 50 either

Re: So you thought it was you !

Posted: Tue Apr 09, 2024 5:59 pm
by Mark1974
Women around that age go through menopause and lose the hormones necessary to desire and to enjoy sex. The interplay between the desire for the intimacy of sex, the joy of sex, the discomfort of low-estrogen sex (which is very real) and the desire for simple physical intimacy (snuggling, touching, massage, etc) and the realization that "I'm getting older." turn many women off.

There are medical ways of reversing this and many, many women find sex even more enjoyable than before menopause because (to put it colloquially), "The baby buggy is gone but the play pen is still there." That is, the fear of pregnancy is gone but the ability to have se remains. It just has to have a little bit of the pre-menstrual hormonal balance restored.

Opening up a discussion on the matter could be tricky. That depends on the degree of transparency you have (and have had) with your wife. Suggesting, "Why don't you get a hormone shot so we can have sex." is probably not a good idea. But, "My love, a couple months ago you enjoyed our love-making. Our future years could be even better. Can we talk about what I can do to help?" The discussion will probably come around to vaginal dryness/discomfort during sex eventually. (You may have to endure an advice or two on your technique as well, so take notes and learn from her comments.) Use your best diplomatic skills and good luck.[/quote]
OK, but how do you know that hormone therapy won't have her hooking up with 24 year olds on Tindr?

Re: So you thought it was you !

Posted: Tue Apr 09, 2024 7:25 pm
by Gt1956
Peter MI wrote:A word to all of you considering an implant. Make absolutely certain that your wife or your significant other agrees 100% with your desire to get an implant. In my case the subject was discussed and begrudgeingly agreed upon. After being implanted and healing to a point where the equipment was functional, we had sex twice. Both times my wife had said that he had not climaxed like that in at least 5 years. I could tell that she was very happy with our decision to get the implant. Now 6 weeks after our last love making, she has gone ice cold !!!! Says that sex is not that important to her as it was when she was younger. My wife is only 59 years old. Had I known that this would be the outcome, I could have skipped the considerable pain and ongoing discomfort of the pump getting pinched constantly. Obviously I made the wrong decision.
BE SURE THAT YOU DON'T.....

At my 6 week checkup. I told my dr about my wifes refusal to take hrt. She had a complete hysterectomy in her late 20's but took hormones until just after the year 2000. The words out of his mouth was to be sure to go easy on sex for awhile until she became used to it. Women learn really fast if sex hurts....aversion therapy is a good description. Did you over use your new found erection???

Sadly, 8 months after my implant she died suddenly of a massive heart attack. But as she woke up that day she initiated sex. The heart attack was about 12 hours later. But in hind sight, she was having symptoms leading up to that day.

Mark1974, you never stop amazing me at your lack of understanding of women...maybe even life in general.

My wife literally loved sex with me. Daily, even twice a day were possible. We even had some runs of three times a day. I honestly can't ever remember getting a serious NO out of her mouth. At least 30 years of hormone replacement & she never eyed a younger guy. She was thrilled to bang this old man.

Unfortunately she is now gone but we had 55 years of steady & wild sex. I would be happy to think that wife #2 can hold up half as long.