Question for our older couples

[LM-N-TX]

Hello all.
I wanted to ask some of the older couples this question where the man has an implant and his mate is postmenopausal.
As I’m trying to think of anything I might run into after I have my implant, I'm worried about how my wife might react to the new me.
So, here’s our situation. My wife and I have been married for 45 years and we were doing pretty well until I started to have some ED problems when I was in my early 60s. I haven’t had a good strong erection in about 4 or 5 years. So, it’s been a long time. She’s 64 years old and postmenopausal and her vaginal walls have thinned and I’m worried that it will not be a pleasant experience for her once I have an implant. She is also on blood thinners so she cannot take estrogen.
1. What did you do or use as a lubricant?
2. Has anyone tried a lubricant with CBD or THC? If so, did it help?
3. Or did the new dick help with any vagina dryness or pain with more practice?
4. Has anyone had a vaginal rejuvenation? If so, did it help?
I figured I’d go to our real experts here because some of the stories I’ve read here are incredible. Guys, please ask your wives if they could help with this question.

[tomas1]

My wife doesn't take blood thinners but is obviously postmenopausal.
She produces a little bit of lubricant, but to be safe, I put a drop of mineral oil (Walmart), on my glans to get it inserted.

My wife has always liked sex (although she would never admit it), and the only problem is she wants it over sooner than I do.

We do have sex 5 or 6 times a week and things are going pretty well for old people.

[1day2Bbionic]

Im not implanted but my wife is going through menopause and its issues. For lubricant we use wet platinum ( you can get it off ebay ) and it works great, for sex and body rubs, we have used it for years. As far as your wife goes there is a procedure called mona lisa touch that my wife gets and if it wasnt for that Im not sure where our sex life would be. Getting old sucks for both genders.

[AmansinCali]

Hello LM

Though I don't consider myself or my wife old, I'm 78 and my wife is 76, I will answer your questions as it applies to us. I am sure it is obvious, but so much relies on each individual, because as they say, we are all different. You have admitted, you are concerned about what your wife's attitude will be post implant so I will try to address that first.

We are all different, yet in a way we are all the same and there are always exceptions, we all know that. I see a bit of us in your relationship, my wife says she has always enjoyed sex, but has never liked talking about it. What she likes, what she wants, she has always had the attitude of, "I don't want to talk about it I just want to do it." Our conversations have changed completely since I have been on Frank Talk, I came here because I was becoming impotent and could no longer take the oral meds. I began to share with my wife what I was learning on FT, sometimes reading her a post that I thought applied to us. No lecturing and not really asking for her input, but sharing what I was learning, because I was learning a lot. This sharing slowly opened up a communication about sex and what options we had in order to have a continuing sex life, which we both wanted. I am addressing this because as our communication opened up we got so we could talk about anything sexual, which was new for us.

LM, in my opinion, the first thing you need to do is to talk to your wife, maybe not too much too fast, but you have to learn what she wants. If she wants to have a continuing sex life with you, you have the hard part behind you, then you just have to work together to make it happen. If she is not open at first just go slowly, sharing what you learn here, relate stories to her like what Tomas1 has posted. Let her know there are many men here having sex through their 70's and 80's and enjoying it with their wives like they were in their 30's and 40's.

After educating her on injections we tried it and the injections were great, fantastic sex, until they became unreliable. Learning here that the oral meds and injections end up failing eventually for most guys we began learning about the implants. Notice I said "we" because when there are failures your wife is as frustrated as you are. Then one week I had 3 failures in a row, lying there in frustration I said, "I think I need an implant." She replied, "If you think that is best then go ahead." It is important you see the progression here, you have to "bring her along" as you learn on FT.

I have been implanted for 4 months and the only thing unnatural about it is I have to pump up my dick, I usually do that in the bathroom out of her sight, but she doesn't mind if I do it in front of her because I often cycle in front of her over morning coffee. My wife claims she can't tell the difference. If she does have problem with the implant, it is because she cums too fast, she really prefers the mutual orgasm. It is not a problem for me because when she cums it makes me cum in short order.

To answer your question about lube, yes, you have to use lube! Just like 1day2Bbionic we prefer the silicone-based lubes, they last a long time, don't get sticky, don't have any taste and feel very natural, we too have used Wet Platinum for years and love it both for foreplay and intercourse.

You have to get your wife on board and like I said, I did it by opening up the communications about ED and the remedies available. Sex is the most natural thing in a relationship and the longer you can maintain it the more blissful your lives will be.

[LM-N-TX]

Sounds like some good information AmansinCali. I have talk to my wife about what it will be like and she says it will be OK and not to worry about it. I know I have to go slow and let her be incontrol.

You know when I look back on my life I was a dum lover. Like most guys I was thinking about my pleasure and excitement. I'm surprised my wife stayed with me. We were best in our 40s to 50s because we both were pretty equal in knowledge and physical abilities. Fast forward to today and I know so much more but I've got this one thing that needs to be fixed, so I hope it will be like starting over for both of us.

[AmansinCali]

LM, please re-read my post, it got posted by accident before I finished and now it is complete.

It would help guys here to help you if you filled out your profile, age, wife's age, what you are currently using to get hard, etc. It helps us to get to know you.

[AmansinCali]

LM,

Just an additional thought, women usually like the man to be in control, I don't think you have to give that up, you just have to work together as a team to make it the best you can for both of you.

Best of luck and if it comes down to you needing an implant, get an implant, I am very glad I did. There are a lot of comments on FT saying, "I wish I had done this sooner."

[Old Guy]

As much as I'm the old one, my wife is younger by 17 years. Only seldom have issues with moisture, so I keep some scent free, additive free silicone water-based lube around. She uses her clit sucker to get started which usually gets her pretty wet. When we switch positions that's when I'll need to put a dab on my shaft.

[Lost Sheep]

Hello all.
I wanted to ask some of the older couples this question where the man has an implant and his mate is postmenopausal.
As I’m trying to think of anything I might run into after I have my implant, I'm worried about how my wife might react to the new me.
So, here’s our situation. My wife and I have been married for 45 years and we were doing pretty well until I started to have some ED problems when I was in my early 60s. I haven’t had a good strong erection in about 4 or 5 years. So, it’s been a long time. She’s 64 years old and postmenopausal and her vaginal walls have thinned and I’m worried that it will not be a pleasant experience for her once I have an implant. She is also on blood thinners so she cannot take estrogen.
1. What did you do or use as a lubricant?
2. Has anyone tried a lubricant with CBD or THC? If so, did it help?
3. Or did the new dick help with any vagina dryness or pain with more practice?
4. Has anyone had a vaginal rejuvenation? If so, did it help?
I figured I’d go to our real experts here because some of the stories I’ve read here are incredible. Guys, please ask your wives if they could help with this question.

AmansinCali's post is filled with good advice.

Communication, absolutely yes. I cannot add much there.

Lubrication is necessary but no one has mentioned coconut oil. It is semisolid at room temperature and liquifies at body temperature. Of course, it is edible and you can use it for cooking, too. (Though I do not recommend cooking in bed.)

My girlfriend (soon to be 77 years old) gets adequately wet if she has had a couple of orgasm, which is typical for most women of any age. Women's vaginas also open up for entry if they are aroused and have had an orgasm or two. So, we typically engage in cunnilingus before attempting coitus. I recommend the practice. If not tongue action, perhaps sexual aid (dildo).

Going slowly is important, to ease your penis into her. You probably already know this, but I will write it: When we have sex without pre-coital preparation (cunnilingus), I will just put the head of my penis at her opening and move side-to-side a bit to open her labia. Only then do I try entry and only a quarter-inch or so and go in-and-out until her labia separate some more and I can fel some of her moisture/vaginal discharge/lubricant. Then I will go in-and-out a half-inch, and increasing the amplitude of my movemens as her lubrication permits. Eventually full-length insertion.

One benefit of the implant is that after I ejaculate, my semen vastly increases the amount of liquid in her and frictional resistance is minimized.

So, in summation. Communicate with your wife about what you both want in sex. Position, speed, etc. Talk about it both before, during and after. Before so you know what to do and what to expect. During, so she can coach you as to what feels good (some women are reticent about "coaching" their partner, lest he feel criticized). After so you can, in an unpressurized venue figuure out what you are doing right and what you are doing sub-optimally. ("You" in this paragraph refers to both of you.)

The act: go slowly, remember, you do not have to take any care to prevent losing your erection like you had to do before. All your attention can be focused on her comfort.

If you do engage in cunnilingus, use it to advantage. I have found it to be the single most reliable (my girlfried eschews sex toys for some reason) way to give a woman (currennt girlfriend and prior ones) orgasms. Motto: "Ladies cum first."

[LM-N-TX]

[quote="Lost Sheep"][quote="LM-N-TX"]Hello all.

One benefit of the implant is that after I ejaculate, my semen vastly increases the amount of liquid in her and frictional resistance is minimized.

Lost sheep very good advice. I wonder why the increase in the semen?
Also you said your girlfriend will soon be 77 so I assume your around that age. I think it is fantastic that guys your age are still having not just good sex but great sex. Wow! You are an inspiration to all of us.