Well. Here I am. It's showtime!

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.
ThailandBound
Posts: 951
Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2022 5:32 pm

Well. Here I am. It's showtime!

Postby ThailandBound » Fri Dec 16, 2022 11:01 pm

Hello Team,

I'm a 63 year old soon-to-be retired airline captain (next year, after 40+ years of combined military and commercial flying). As i prepare to ride off into the sunset of my career, part of that preparation includes retirement, in Thailand. (Thus my screen name). And i fully intend to be prepared. To do that, I've come to terms the fact that in spite of a very colorful and vigorous sex life through the years, I'm here. ED. I've been reading this forum literally all day long, and all i can say is thank gawd for it and those of you who have contributed so much. Especially "Merrix", who chronicled his experience beautifully from inception to culmination many months out. I think there's something like 80+ pages on his thread, and i read every page. In one day, I learned so much, and was given food for thought on considerations i'm sure to encounter. Merrix, if you read this, thank you. And i see we have a shared interest in Thailand. More about that in a moment.

Background: Was divorced after 24 years of marriage at the age of 46. Prior to that, I was good to go, 100% of the time, on a moments notice. Fate is fickle though. Coinciding with my newfound freedom, as i began to date with considerable enthusiasm I noticed that I actually needed the boost of Viagra. Prior to that (since I was 39) it had been a recreational drug mostly. But no worries, I was good to go consistently, but always had it on hand, just in case. But my erections became more unreliable and I became slightly uncomfortable if the opportunity presented itself and i wasn't prepared with a dose handy. I was single for 10 years, and during that time I had 3 primary girlfriends and several casual encounters. It was a minor annoyance, becoming more dependent on it, but since it worked pretty consistently, I didn't sweat it.

Nearing my almost 10 years of singledom, I began to have low-grade performance anxiety if a spontaneous opportunity presented itself, and started fretting more and more. Still, things were working pretty well. Just a creeping sense of "Shit. here i am. single. and I seem to be fading in performance just as this whole world of opportunity is presenting itself". Eventually, in conjunction with my travels, I met and married a beautiful and sexy Brazilian woman. I was so hot for her that frequently i didn't even need the turbo-assist....sometimes. But in general, i was a consistent user of Viagra and Cialis, with her whole-hearted approval.

Unfortunately things between she and I went south after more than a decade together, and near the end my ED was getting worse and her satisfaction, I could tell, was greatly diminished. Sometimes complaining, which hurts. In the last 3 years or so of our marriage we became involved in "The Lifestyle", code word for swinging. By this point, I was using trimix....with diminishing returns. It would get me hard, but only for about 30 minutes or less. And those "Lifestyle" situations can go on for hours. I did not begrudge her getting her satisfaction from much younger guys, because i soon learned to completely compartmentalize this and actually enjoyed watching her be pleasured. I was still hanging in there with the trimix, and was usually good with one round, under :30 minutes from injection, with my female play partners in this environment. For those of you who might judge this, that's up to you, I wouldn't write about it here if i cared what people thought, but i can say with certainty my love for her never was diminished in any way. I loved her until the end. And about a year ago, it unraveled. Not the least of her complaints was my sexual performance. She used to LOVE having sex with me. Anyway, we've been separated for a year now and our divorce will be final next year.

In the interim, i've worked a lot, and been alone a lot. My ED has kept me isolated and afraid to venture out much and even try. Every thing i have read on this forum about how it affects your sense of self, your confidence, your happiness....all of that just went to shit. Finally, just this past November i went to Thailand for 3 weeks, a place i'd visited regularly in my single days (lest you think it's ONLY about sex there, I really do love the people, the climate, the islands, the food. I even learned to sail there. But yeah, sure. The ladies. I'm enthralled). While there, I took my trimix in the little cooler bag, and I met a lovely local lady, 29 years old, who became my constant companion. Every night we would have sex, and the trimix worked about 70% of the time. She'd try to get it up, i'd excuse myself to the bathroom, inject, then return. She was so cool. I eventually just fessed up to what i was doing, and she was great about rubbing it in and enjoyed the transformation. But. She/we wanted to have sex every morning as well. I know i'm not supposed to inject so soon, but i would anyway. If i was lucky, i'd get about a 1/2 woody. If i was lucky. ED looking me in the face again.

I'd already been watching youtube videos on the subject, and prior to my trip had consulted with Dr. Perito in Miami. He diagnosed me with veinous leakage, which in a way was a relief to know it wasn't just "in my head". He strongly advised that I proceed since i was at the point where i'd pretty much come to the end of the road and we had a reason why. Plus, catching it this early would prevent ED-related shrinkage. As luck would have it, despite working for a great company, my insurance did NOT cover it. I was prepared to pay out of pocket, but in the interim, I took my trip to to Thailand. My experience in Thailand was enough to confirm in my mind:

1. I need and want the implant, and
2. I will retire in Thailand

Upon my return i began to watch Dr. Clavell's youtube channel. His google reviews were overwhelmingly favorable, and he seemed so down to earth and competent. So, I called him and we had a video consultation. I was concerned about the recovery since he primarily does penoscrotal surgery vs Dr. Perito's infrapubic technique. But, since I'd had some issues over the years with my right testicle requiring two surgeries, I had my concerns about pump placement with my rather high-hanging right testicle. Dr. Clavell convinced me that the pump would be well placed and that i would not require the "tugging/pulling" of the pump to get it in place. Since I'm paying out of pocket, he was also $9000 cheaper. I am convinced he is a good choice....and with that, On Jan 4, 2023, I fly to Houston to have it done. He did make me feel good when, asking about my sexual frequency, I told him in while in Thailand, "night and day". He said "whoa! 63 years old and twice daily. Coloplast for you". ;)

And, I am scared. to. death.

Not so much of infection, device failure....mostly of the pain. I've had 4 surgeries down below (including hernia and vasectomy), and none of them were particularly pleasant. I thought my vasectomy 33 years ago, would be about as traumatic as a haircut. Boy, was i wrong about that. It also doesn't help that I'm still kind of getting over the emotional effects of my divorce, and when I return from Houston to Florida, I will be recovering in virtual isolation. I've only been here a few short years, and don't really have many friends and family nearby. So i envision me laying on the couch with a swollen, black and blue, and painful groin area.....and alone. The combination of the divorce and the psychic elements of ED, and now anxiety over the procedure...

Well, whew. I'm glad i found this place. All i'd seen before from other patients is a few testimonials on youtube. There's not too many. So i felt like i was setting out on uncharted waters with nobody to talk to.

So, that's me. I guess as a combination sounding board, source of knowledge, and catharsis during the journey, I'll be posting more. Of course, I want to hear about your journey too. Somebody just pat me on the head and tell me it's all going to be ok.

Oh, and that young lady in Thailand? I told her I intend to return in March during which I will take her to Phuket. I hope I'm up for it. No pun intended.
Active, athletic 63 years old. Sexually, still 33 in my mind and spirit. Pills and injections all worked, until they didn’t. Diagnosed with veinous leakage in 2022. Coloplast Titan. 22 CM. No RTE. Peno-scrotal. Implanted 1/4/23. Dr. Clavell.

Tokyo_123
Posts: 254
Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2022 3:02 am

Re: Well. Here I am. It's showtime!

Postby Tokyo_123 » Fri Dec 16, 2022 11:23 pm

I'll be retiring to Thailand / Manila / Jakarta. Life soon'll be good.
Venous Leakage (which I believe caused by my overuse of the Bathmate VED)

Dr. Clavell, August, 2022. Titan One-Touch, 24cm XL cylinders and trimmed off 0.5cm

etj4588
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2022 9:39 am

Re: Well. Here I am. It's showtime!

Postby etj4588 » Fri Dec 16, 2022 11:58 pm

You made a good choice with Clavell. I am a few days out of surgery (he did mine) and everything seems to be going well. The pain is manageable. I, like you will, came to Houston alone and have stayed here for 5 days after surgery to recover. You are correct. You spend a lot of time lying in bed or on the couch watching TV or reading, ordering take-out, and making sure you stay ahead of the pain by diligently taking all of your meds.

Once I get past the pain and heal, I think this is going to be the best thing I could have done for myself. It's very early, but I'm starting to get excited about my new life.

Best of luck to you and if you have any questions at all, feel free to message me.

Jage64
Posts: 515
Joined: Sat Oct 22, 2022 9:38 pm

Re: Well. Here I am. It's showtime!

Postby Jage64 » Sat Dec 17, 2022 12:08 am

ThailandBound wrote:Hello Team,

"whoa! 63 years old and twice daily. Coloplast for you". ;)



I laughed at this. I too had a consultation with Dr. Clavell, he asked about my activity and I told him I'd been married to the same woman for 35 years, don't have any other partners and can't wait to get back to business with just her. It was then he told me he thought I'd be a good candidate for an AMS 700 ;)

Apparently he must think the Titan and it's thicker wall cylinders will hold up better for a high frequency user. :lol:

(to be fair, I'm also not particularly girthy, which is another reason he thought the AMS would fit better)
2/22/23 AMS 700 CX 21cm + 1.5cm RTEs. 58 yrs old, wife of 37 yrs. Penoscrotal. 100ml Conceal reservoir. Dr. Clavell. Pills failing and went right to implant, skipped the injections. 12 mos. later: 7 1/2" x 5 3/4"

Hunchback
Posts: 513
Joined: Sun Apr 30, 2017 5:00 am

Re: Well. Here I am. It's showtime!

Postby Hunchback » Sat Dec 17, 2022 1:29 am

Good luck to you in this implant adventure!
39 years old, married. ED all my life because of spinal cord injury caused by a tumor in early infant age. Using standard EDEX20 since 2007. Increasingly bad results with EDEX in the last few years, but had very good results for at least 10 years.

ThailandBound
Posts: 951
Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2022 5:32 pm

Re: Well. Here I am. It's showtime!

Postby ThailandBound » Sat Dec 17, 2022 8:01 am

needsomehope wrote:Who possibly cares?!? Go fuck boys in Thailand you weirdo


Projecting? lol.

Since that’s on your mind, don’t worry, I’ll be checking IDs.
Active, athletic 63 years old. Sexually, still 33 in my mind and spirit. Pills and injections all worked, until they didn’t. Diagnosed with veinous leakage in 2022. Coloplast Titan. 22 CM. No RTE. Peno-scrotal. Implanted 1/4/23. Dr. Clavell.

ThailandBound
Posts: 951
Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2022 5:32 pm

Re: Well. Here I am. It's showtime!

Postby ThailandBound » Sat Dec 17, 2022 8:11 am

etj4588 wrote:You made a good choice with Clavell. I am a few days out of surgery (he did mine) and everything seems to be going well. The pain is manageable. I, like you will, came to Houston alone and have stayed here for 5 days after surgery to recover. You are correct. You spend a lot of time lying in bed or on the couch watching TV or reading, ordering take-out, and making sure you stay ahead of the pain by diligently taking all of your meds.

Once I get past the pain and heal, I think this is going to be the best thing I could have done for myself. It's very early, but I'm starting to get excited about my new life.

Best of luck to you and if you have any questions at all, feel free to message me.


Thank you so much for your reply. I am especially interested in following along on your journey. I already have questions for you regarding travel and pain.

Pain. Dr. Clavell told me he is prepared to prescribe narcotics if necessary, but to date, he has never needed to. You’re just a few days in. How has it been? Especially on day 3?

I ask about day 3 because he said i could travel home to Florida then. I just picture myself hobbling through the airport with my woody all bound up in tight underwear, doing everything in slow motion and conscious of only one thing. Dr. Clavell said the nerve block he gives will allow me to travel home comfortably on day three, and that he has patients making international trips on day 3. My flight will be about 2 hours, and a 30 minute drive home. You say you’re staying for 5 days. Why is that? Could you have made the journey on day 3?

Best wishes brother. Please keep in touch.
Active, athletic 63 years old. Sexually, still 33 in my mind and spirit. Pills and injections all worked, until they didn’t. Diagnosed with veinous leakage in 2022. Coloplast Titan. 22 CM. No RTE. Peno-scrotal. Implanted 1/4/23. Dr. Clavell.

ThailandBound
Posts: 951
Joined: Fri Dec 16, 2022 5:32 pm

Re: Well. Here I am. It's showtime!

Postby ThailandBound » Sat Dec 17, 2022 8:23 am

Tokyo_123 wrote:I'll be retiring to Thailand / Manila / Jakarta. Life soon'll be good.


Thank you for your reply. Since we have the same surgeon, please tell me about your experience. You’re 4 months in. Can you share a summary of your experience thus far?

The nerve block he administers. How would you have felt about traveling by airplane (2 hour flight) on day 3, as he is recommending to me?
Active, athletic 63 years old. Sexually, still 33 in my mind and spirit. Pills and injections all worked, until they didn’t. Diagnosed with veinous leakage in 2022. Coloplast Titan. 22 CM. No RTE. Peno-scrotal. Implanted 1/4/23. Dr. Clavell.

Hunchback
Posts: 513
Joined: Sun Apr 30, 2017 5:00 am

Re: Well. Here I am. It's showtime!

Postby Hunchback » Sat Dec 17, 2022 8:53 am

ThailandBound wrote:
needsomehope wrote:Who possibly cares?!? Go fuck boys in Thailand you weirdo


Projecting? lol.

Since that’s on your mind, don’t worry, I’ll be checking IDs.


needsomehope has been posting stupid/aggressive shit lately, dunno why. Guess ignore him for now, we'll see where this goes.
39 years old, married. ED all my life because of spinal cord injury caused by a tumor in early infant age. Using standard EDEX20 since 2007. Increasingly bad results with EDEX in the last few years, but had very good results for at least 10 years.

etj4588
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue Jul 12, 2022 9:39 am

Re: Well. Here I am. It's showtime!

Postby etj4588 » Sat Dec 17, 2022 9:48 am

Thank you so much for your reply. I am especially interested in following along on your journey. I already have questions for you regarding travel and pain.

Pain. Dr. Clavell told me he is prepared to prescribe narcotics if necessary, but to date, he has never needed to. You’re just a few days in. How has it been? Especially on day 3?

I ask about day 3 because he said i could travel home to Florida then. I just picture myself hobbling through the airport with my woody all bound up in tight underwear, doing everything in slow motion and conscious of only one thing. Dr. Clavell said the nerve block he gives will allow me to travel home comfortably on day three, and that he has patients making international trips on day 3. My flight will be about 2 hours, and a 30 minute drive home. You say you’re staying for 5 days. Why is that? Could you have made the journey on day 3?

Best wishes brother. Please keep in touch.


Day 3 and 4 seemed to be the same pain-wise. As I write this, it is Day 5 morning and the pain is still about the same. I don't feel the nerve block he injects has fully worn off. I stayed for 5 days simply because I didn't want to travel during the most important early days of recovery. I am flying out of Houston at noon today though. Yes, I could have flown on day 3 as it will be pretty much the same experience for me today.

I thought about what to wear at the airport and even bought compression underwear for the trip back home. But I found them to be too uncomfortable for longer periods of time. So I'm opting for loose basketball shorts and a long t-shirt underneath a sweatshirt. If anyone takes a good look, they will see that I have an erection.

I'm not sure I will need any narcotics as the pain has been manageable with the meds he prescribes. Let me know if you have other questions. Happy to help as others from here have helped me!


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