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Just a honest, brutal and unpopular opinion

Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2022 7:31 pm
by Anatomical suicide
I often read here on Franktalk enthusiastic post where the implant is described as a life-changing choice able to bring back not only a functioning penis but even a stable psychological and mental condition previously devastated by the erectile dysfunction.
The reason why i got surgery was the same reason why other individuals decide to get a prosthesis implanted due to a missing ability; a leg prosthesis gives you the ability to run or even walk again. A harm prosthesis gives you the ability to hold a pen, drive, hug and do things you couldn't do before going for such surgery.
It's all about being able to do something you couldn't do because of a persistent disability.
The only aim I had when I took the plunge was to be able to perform, sexually speaking, in someway. Since pills didn't work, VED was ridiculous and, given my age, injection weren't even an option I was forced to get a 3 piece installed between my legs at 27. I didn't have any alternative apart from suicide which, by the way, is still in my head 24 hours a day.
I don't want to concentrate my attention on the recovery, on the surgery itself or on what I've been gone and going through to deal with such cataclysm at 27 as if ED weren't enough.
Those are secondary elements.
The aspect that I'd like to share and outline is that AFTER surgery NOTHING changed as for the way I think, conceive thinks and consider myself. I was born with a crippling disability which has prevented me since day one from having erections and thus a normal, fulfilling sexual life that the vast majority of the guys of my age have without being even aware of it. A true, severe venous leakage is not a clinical issue or a treatable condition. Is a crippling disability whose onset can EASILY lead the individuals suffering from it to an indescribable dimension in which the end of your existence becomes a relentless desire. The only one crossing your mind. All the rest ceases to exist.
The implant in my case wasn't life-changing. I didn't expect it to be so. Neither did i expect it to transform or cancel the whole of traumatic experiences I lived in the past due to a genetic disorder that took completely and irreversibly away my manhood, my self-esteem, my entire existence as a - supposed - man.
Two silicon cylinders and a bulb cannot restore a manhood which has never existed. I'll always be a biological failure, a freak of nature as well as a victim of the genetic lottery. I lost it.
Since I'm and I'll be until the end all the aforementioned the implant is a consequence of it, not a solution to it. It's the tragic conclusion of a traumatic sequence of predetermined occurrences.
Being able to perform keeps being the only and unique reason behind the choice of getting this kind of surgery. Let alone how. But for the rest, at least in my case, my modus pensandi hasn't been altered and with high probability will never be.
I've never been a man, i don't feel like it right now with a fake dick and I'm realistic enough to consider a penile prosthesis at the age of 27 a condemnation rather than the superpower described here.
Or maybe I have a slightly different conception of superpower.

Re: Just a honest, brutal and unpopular opinion

Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2022 7:39 pm
by España1980
but your prosthesis works well or not?

Re: Just a honest, brutal and unpopular opinion

Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2022 7:56 pm
by Anatomical suicide
España1980 wrote:but your prosthesis works well or not?

I've already started using it. But I was addressing other topics in this thread.

Re: Just a honest, brutal and unpopular opinion

Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2022 8:20 pm
by Anonymous FT Member
I would just say don't put all your worth and value in one part of your body. Another thing I think many of the younger crowd here on FT need to understand is stop comparing your sex life or lack of sex life to everybody else. Assuming that ALL other 27 year old men are having the best sex all day everyday is quite a bit unrealistic. Look around most average people spend their time working themselves to death just trying to scrape by and make ends meet.

You made it through your surgery, and apparently it was successful. I guess be glad you were born with a penis or that it didn't get chopped off. Be proud of being a man and just do the best you can. Count the blessings you have.

Re: Just a honest, brutal and unpopular opinion

Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2022 8:36 pm
by Fran4524
I think all depends on how you see your problems. There are many guys more or less of your age that had a venous leak and after having the implant, they are really happy with it. Maybe you have had very bad luck, but you have an oportunity to reverse the problem and your view.

Now you have a functional hiper hard penis and with it you can do the same or more than a 27 years old guy can do. It is unhealthy having the auto concept you have of you. Maybe you need to ask for help to any psicologist to try to adapt to your new reality and start to be confident of you. Unfortunately, your situation could be a shit, but in 80% it depends on how you solve and front your problems. But please, stop suicidal ideas.

Re: Just a honest, brutal and unpopular opinion

Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2022 8:56 pm
by 68CatFan
Feeling sorry for yourself, eh? I have several friends who have serious health issues way worse than yours. Cerebral Palsy, missing a leg, one who's paralyzed from the waist down and will never have sex, and another who died from cancer in his 40s. You wanna trade any of them? Didn't think so...
Thousands of men have it way worse bud.

Re: Just a honest, brutal and unpopular opinion

Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2022 10:26 pm
by Cnidium
Got my implant at 27. My mindset is very different than yours. I wake up everyday feeling like a champion. Not because of the implant itself, but because I know that, no matter what happens in life, I can and will find the best answer for it. Going through peyronies and the road up to an implant helped develop me in a way that now allows me to tackle all other problems in life.

I understand why you feel the way you do, but I also know that its all about mindset. You don't need to be a victim of your circumstance. You can be a true unit of a man if you want to be.

Re: Just a honest, brutal and unpopular opinion

Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2022 10:31 pm
by LuisFernandez
Curious why injections weren't an option. Sounds like the problem is more your negative mindset. That's much harder to fix than the penis.

Re: Just a honest, brutal and unpopular opinion

Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2022 11:02 pm
by 2435tjklAS
That's pretty well written. I was doubting you at first and tbh one could argue it's slightly overdramatic, though I do concede to your points about how disability of a man's dick has some special philosophical importance. You seem to have some Rust Cohle in you. Though all I will say is life be that way. No use in fixating on the past because it is and always will be unchangeable. Might as well fight for a better future.

Re: Just a honest, brutal and unpopular opinion

Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2022 11:30 pm
by stephen54
Anatomical suicide wrote:. I didn't have any alternative apart from suicide which, by the way, is still in my head 24 hours a day...I don't want to concentrate my attention on the recovery, on the surgery itself or on what I've been gone and going through to deal with such cataclysm at 27 as if ED weren't enough...The aspect that I'd like to share and outline is that AFTER surgery NOTHING changed as for the way I think, conceive thinks and consider myself...Neither did i expect it to transform or cancel the whole of traumatic experiences I lived in the past due to a genetic disorder that took completely and irreversibly away my manhood, my self-esteem, my entire existence as a - supposed - man.
Two silicon cylinders and a bulb cannot restore a manhood which has never existed. I'll always be a biological failure, a freak of nature as well as a victim of the genetic lottery...It's the tragic conclusion of a traumatic sequence of predetermined occurrences.
I've never been a man, i don't feel like it right now with a fake dick and I'm realistic enough to consider a penile prosthesis at the age of 27 a condemnation rather than the superpower described here...


I'll offer an honest, possibly brutal opinion back to you. I guess others will define whether it's unpopular.

So...you had no "alternative apart from suicide".

Really? None? Not a one? Across the entire infinite compendium of human experiences possible, suicide was in point of fact demonstrably the only alternative? Really? That's certainly a heavy, self-imposed bleakness.

A "cataclysm"? Really? Literally a cataclysm, your life experiences at 27?

I don't know your life and I don't know the untold crap you didn't ask for which seems to have affected you. Fully stipulated. I don't know your stuff.

Also, I don't expect you to listen to, nor authentically consider any advice you may see here in response to your post, because it sounds like you've definitely already made up your mind at 27 that every nuance of your existence has somehow, via a masterfully malevolent universe, conspired against you to make everything super shitty and super impossible.

But, I doubt many will find your self-imposed victimhood endearing or relatable. Sorry. Flat fucking truth. Probably also "unpopular" but truth regardless.

You're having the experience you're having. Ok. But that doesn't mean it's the experience you're powerlessly sentenced to by some shadowy force against which you cannot act on your own behalf to better things.

The difficult to swallow truth is - victimhood and all its corollary cousins are boring and tiring and are worn cliches meant to deflect away accountability. They just are. That doesn't mean someone hasn't faced untold shit in their life. So welcome to Life. Every day you walk past people who are up against inexplicably difficult circumstances. Most do the thing which is of course not the easy thing. They turn the mirror on themselves, they shrug their shoulders at the horseshit they could not control, and they decide...they decide...(that's an active, forward-facing verb)...they decide the particular ways they will choose to view the world, themselves, and their place and possibilities within the world. And they either piss and whine and self-flagellate, or they elect to work to improve their life and their worldview thereof.

You define yourself as a "failure". Your words.

You define yourself as a "victim". Your words.

Here's the hard fucking part some people don't wish to acknowledge:
You awake, you are blessed to enter a new day, and you alone...you...alone...uniquely possess the ability to grab your rudder and steer yourself. Either into the rocks and the abyss, or into something better. That's on you. You.

So you fancy yourself as "the tragic conclusion of a traumatic sequence of predetermined occurrences". What overwrought theatre. What hand-wringing self-absorption.

It's all "pre-determined"?

Freewill ceased to exist?

And yet you chose to get implanted. "Why?" seems like too obvious a question. It's all shit, it's all pre-determined. And yet, you took an action. Why? Ostensibly to improve something. Not to worsen it. But to improve it.

Whatever dark shit you find yourself mired in, it would have been really instructive and helpful for your surgeon, before he lifted the knife, to have maybe tuned in to where you seem to be at psychologically with a whole host of things which have nothing whatsoever to do with your dick. They don't. I know you think they do. And I know that, thinking your "tragic" "predetermined" "victimhood" dick is at fault for everything seemingly alienates you and frees you from taking charge of your life and happiness.

Maybe all the shit you said is just the story you find yourself stuck in.

Maybe the reason you find yourself stuck in your stories is the thing you need to chip away at. Easier by far to flail your arms and blame (anything else). Of course.

Too bad, man, because there's a pretty awesome world out here waiting for you to stop whining and just choose to join in. Self-absorbed victims aren't exactly the most desirable partners, sexual or otherwise. They're mostly insufferable.

You have got to work on your underlying victimhood mentality. Or don't. But that's on you. Not on the other people who have adapted and actively decided to jettison victimhood in favor of improving themselves.