Just turned 30 - reflections on a lost decade and conflicted about implant (advice welcome)

[CuriosDK]

Hi all,

I've just turned 30 and it's prompted a lot of reflection. I grew up with a lot of anxiety, particularly socially, so wasted a lot of years in my shell. By my mid-20s I'd shaken a lot of that off and I had my first experience with ED during my first sexual encounter. I was a little drunk at the time and entirely blindsided, didn't think too much of it but it happened again the next time (both ONSs). This kicked off a pattern whereby I would: go out and have a ONS -> be unable to perform -> avoid sex until I felt it might be different this time -> repeat. Over the years I started using Cialis and whilst it works when I'm on my own it's yet to work for penetrative sex. I've found I need constant stimulation to maintain an erection and maybe this is why the point of penetration is an issue for me.

I'm booking an appointment with a urologist to check for whether there are any physical factors to consider, but for the moment I'm assuming its a fairly extreme psychological case. Since learning about implants I'm now at a crossroads:

- On the one hand all my sexual experience has been ONSs or after a few dates with someone where I knew it wasn't going anywhere, I feel like if I connected with someone in a meaningful way maybe that would ease my psychological performance anxiety and I could have a regular sex life after having that experience. If an implant is a final-line treatment and my case is psychological maybe I should spend time trying to address that before taking a more drastic, irreversible step.

- On the other hand, I'm getting older, ED has already taken years from me. I want to explore my sexuality as well as have a family in the future, on that front I'm beginning to feel like I'm running out of time and an implant would be a guaranteed solution. After years of hiding from the world the confidence of knowing I could not just perform, but go over and over on-demand, would be (I imagine) transformative.

Anyone else tempted by the implant but conflicted?

Any thoughts would be welcome.

[LuisFernandez]

have you tried injections? they’re amazing.

[CuriosDK]

have you tried injections? they’re amazing.

No, I'm a little put off by needles, and feel if I have to inject forever I may as well just get an implant.

[LuisFernandez]

that’s how i used to be but now i don’t even think twice about the injections. i think instead of waiting and wasting more time get on them and if you don’t like them get the implant

[Stenlie_]

Hello from me . The implant is definitely a solution, but you need to check all the possible options beforehand. REMEMBER that the implant may be an option for 5 years or 20 years with several revisions during this period. Even if we assume that you will undergo several revisions and this will extend your sex life by 20 years. At 50, you will no longer have an implant in your penis and you will not be able to have sex. Therefore, check all possible options before taking this step. I AM NOT A DOCTOR AND THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION.

[defiant]

Okay what that last guy said is complete and utter nonsense.

Don’t let him scare you. He’s talking out of his ass.

Implants, if placed correctly by a good surgeon, if you go by the facts and figures will last you a good 8-15 years depending upon a multitude of factors.

So let us conservatively assume that you will need 4-5 replacements to get you to a ripe old age where you’ll most likely not care for it anymore. Yes there is some risk there but still negligible in the grand scheme with good surgeons.

Also, the chances of something so catastrophic happening that you’re left with an unusable penis are extremely low, no matter how many revisions/replacements you have!

As to your original question re: your position. I find myself in a very similar spot, though from the sounds of things not quite so bad as yourself. You have my empathy and sympathy, bro.

Ultimately, implants are an incredible option and will eradicate your ED. I can’t count the number of positive reviews and testimonials of men who have beaten this; had their confidence restored ten-fold and now live very healthy, happy lives free of this black cloud.

You have to look at your situation and ask yourself are you willing to put up with this way of life for much longer or indeed forever. You have to ask yourself also am I ready to make that jump and take (small risks) for exceptional reward.

I’m nearly 40, coming up on 38 and I’m asking myself the same questions. What makes it I suspect somewhat harder for me is that pills still work to a decent extent. But I know that my patience is running thin, every decision I make is dictated by ED and I’m just not living the life I want to live.

Severe long-lasting ED is a prison of both the mind and body.

If you’re truly suffering to the point where you just can’t have sex, I say go for it.

The mind, (anxiety) as a cause of severe ED is so underestimated and not taken seriously enough when I would posit that it could be classed as the most catastrophic. Knowing that there’s nothing physically wrong with the plumbing but the wiring is so so so criss-crossed and faulty to the point that the right signals just are not being sent and are being beaten off by the wrong ones.

It is a truly mind-body process and if your mind is too far gone or you just don’t see yourself working it out (in what can only be your own self estimation) then again, go for it. Life is too damn short.

[Gt1956]

Hello from me . The implant is definitely a solution, but you need to check all the possible options beforehand. REMEMBER that the implant may be an option for 5 years or 20 years with several revisions during this period. Even if we assume that you will undergo several revisions and this will extend your sex life by 20 years. At 50, you will no longer have an implant in your penis and you will not be able to have sex. Therefore, check all possible options before taking this step. I AM NOT A DOCTOR AND THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION.

I challenge you to link to a member that has been unable to get an implant due to too many revisions. You've made a claim, you need to provide sources that we can verify. Absolutely no urban legends or friend of a friend stories are allowed.

[hectorm64]

Hi all,

I've just turned 30 and it's prompted a lot of reflection. I grew up with a lot of anxiety, particularly socially, so wasted a lot of years in my shell. By my mid-20s I'd shaken a lot of that off and I had my first experience with ED during my first sexual encounter. I was a little drunk at the time and entirely blindsided, didn't think too much of it but it happened again the next time (both ONSs). This kicked off a pattern whereby I would: go out and have a ONS -> be unable to perform -> avoid sex until I felt it might be different this time -> repeat. Over the years I started using Cialis and whilst it works when I'm on my own it's yet to work for penetrative sex. I've found I need constant stimulation to maintain an erection and maybe this is why the point of penetration is an issue for me.

I'm booking an appointment with a urologist to check for whether there are any physical factors to consider, but for the moment I'm assuming its a fairly extreme psychological case. Since learning about implants I'm now at a crossroads:

- On the one hand all my sexual experience has been ONSs or after a few dates with someone where I knew it wasn't going anywhere, I feel like if I connected with someone in a meaningful way maybe that would ease my psychological performance anxiety and I could have a regular sex life after having that experience. If an implant is a final-line treatment and my case is psychological maybe I should spend time trying to address that before taking a more drastic, irreversible step.

- On the other hand, I'm getting older, ED has already taken years from me. I want to explore my sexuality as well as have a family in the future, on that front I'm beginning to feel like I'm running out of time and an implant would be a guaranteed solution. After years of hiding from the world the confidence of knowing I could not just perform, but go over and over on-demand, would be (I imagine) transformative.

Anyone else tempted by the implant but conflicted?

Any thoughts would be welcome.

Hey Man,
Please do the implant, don't waste your life like I did. In my situation, I born in 1964 and the Viagra was put in the market in 1998. I found out about the PI in 2020. I as soon as I found out out. I got educated here in this forum, reading these guys experiences (they are my family now) and reading their suggestions, searched for the best penile implant surgeon in my state AZ and I was implanted in March 11 2021. Since then, I have been the happiest man on earth. a couple years ago I was planning how to end my life and as a today, I would like to live 100 years. Life is great, you deserve a beautiful family, bright days, free of anxiety.
Please do it. If you need to talk and know more about my experience PM. I will take my time to listen/tell

[hectorm64]

Hello from me . The implant is definitely a solution, but you need to check all the possible options beforehand. REMEMBER that the implant may be an option for 5 years or 20 years with several revisions during this period. Even if we assume that you will undergo several revisions and this will extend your sex life by 20 years.[color=#80FF00]At 50, you will no longer have an implant in your penis and you will not be able to have sex. [/color]Therefore, check all possible options before taking this step. I AM NOT A DOCTOR AND THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION.

"At 50, you will no longer have an implant in your penis and you will not be able to have sex."

Don't pay attention to this guy in this sentence. I don't know where he got this information but he has been misinterpreted some information.

A experienced surgeon will work with you to have the best and longer outcome.

[Stenlie_]

Longer result than 20 years? Many boys here are discussing this very issue. The implant is a good option if no revisions were required. As we all know, after each revision, the infection is even more likely, even with a very good surgeon. Usually the revisions for 20 years are about 3-5, which greatly increases the risk after 5 revisions. Once it is no longer possible to perform a further revision, the implant is removed. Am I not right?