Anybody Here In A Sexless Marriage But Going Forward With Implant?

[beachbum]

Sexless marriage for over 15 years. Implanted for 5. Yes I hoped it would help change things but it didn't. The main reason for me getting an implant was FOR ME. Feel much better about myself. Enough so that if it was to break today, I would be making arrangements to get it replaced tomorrow.

[wunhunglo]

If sex is important to you, get the implant and find someone who will enjoy it with you. Life is too short to have a roomate that holds you back from expressing your manhood.

[Cigar56]

Sexless marriage for over 15 years. Implanted for 5. Yes I hoped it would help change things but it didn't. The main reason for me getting an implant was FOR ME. Feel much better about myself. Enough so that if it was to break today, I would be making arrangements to get it replaced tomorrow.

Excellent points, Beachbum. I've come to the conclusion that if the wife/partner is no longer into sex, then an implant isn't going to change anything. But as you stated, I'm getting this implant FOR ME. And then we will see what happens.

[Cigar56]

If sex is important to you, get the implant and find someone who will enjoy it with you. Life is too short to have a roomate that holds you back from expressing your manhood.

Absolutely. Yes, that can be dangerous. But ... onward. Life is short.

[Injustright]

Has anyone on FT ever decided that since his sex life with the spouse was kaput to get an implant and not tell her? If so how did you arrange it?

[Masonjames]

I was told by my surgeon that he has men who never use their implant with a partner. They do it for themselves. They masturbate or whatever they want to do. Guess that would include sex outside the marriage but not necessarily
I can say from personal experience that this was mainly for myself. My wife gets the benefits but I wanted it for me and feeling like a man again.

[oldbeek]

I was told by my surgeon that he has men who never use their implant with a partner. They do it for themselves. They masturbate or whatever they want to do. Guess that would include sex outside the marriage but not necessarily
I can say from personal experience that this was mainly for myself. My wife gets the benefits but I wanted it for me and feeling like a man again.

Exactually ! I did it for myself and I enjoy the masterbation. My wife does get Horney about once a month. I hated the shribbled up nothing I had after RP (cancer). Now enjoy my 5.5 inch flaccid.

[Waynetho]

My wife and I were virtually sexless for about 20 years pre-implant. She kept bugging me about it and I kept evading the question (it was me, not her). After my implant she was hesitant at first, stating that she was afraid (to hurt me). Also her libido was low as well due to menopausal symptoms, but Premarin cream resolved that. After her experiencing it again we now are active and on top of that, she has shared me with her girlfriend (MY girlfriend now) and we have an open relationship (although despite my encouragement for her to branch out, she says she's got me and that's enough, aside from our girlfriend with whom she's got a budding relationship, mostly snogging).

[frwmw1]

I haven't an implant yet, but I'm currently on injections.

I had a dead bedroom relatively early in our relationship, it has been challenging to fix.

Books that helped are:

- "Come as You are" by Emily Nagoski: Discuses female responsive desire and sexual inhibition system.
- Everything written by the late David Schnarch PhD
- "The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman
- "hold me tight" by Sue Johnson

I think dead bedrooms happen for a lot of different reasons, however they can be indicating a bad relationship.

A corollary of this is, if you've had a dead bedroom then you've had a relationship that was bad, and such a relationship can turn bad again without more effort and constant monitoring.

That may sound harsh, but I think a lot of people underestimate the dramatic impact it has on a relationship.

Dead bedrooms are to be fixed immediately and best avoided altogether.

"Slay the dragon in his lair before he comes to your village".

[ScrewedbyDoctors]

The only reason because I want to have an implant is to keep my relationship with my girlfriend, I wish my girlfriend didn't want to have sex