How to start conversation with partner

[considering89]

Hello,

For those who got implanted while in a relationship (marriage or dating), how did you first bring up the topic of implants with your partner?

- How did you start the conversation?
- How did you explain implants?
- How did you sell the benefits?
- What questions/comments did your partner have?

I'm 31 and in a dating relationship of 4 months that will progress to engagement within several months. But open to thoughts/experiences from all implanted men. Thank you.

[Old Guy]

Well my wife and I were married for 30+ years so my ED problem was well known by her. After the pills and injections stopped working and an implant was my only option left, I told her that our intimate times was something I didn't want to give up. After I visited with the surgeon we discussed it again now that I knew a bit about the surgery. I had not yet found FT, so the info here was not part of my knowledge yet.
Since my wife is so much younger than me I also wanted to continue to please her like a husband should. With ED depression my thoughts of being unable to satisfy her made me think she would seek sex elsewhere.
So my advice since you are in the early stages of your relationship is first tell her about your issue, if she doesn't know already. If children are in the future you will still be able to father them with the implant. But a lot of the final decision will be how she feels about your intimate times. Is the sex part important, or not? And most of all, give her time to talk about it and listen to what she says.

[considering89]

I just want to add a data point: Sex is monumentally important to both my girlfriend and me. She wants it all the time and so do I. If we could, we'd go multiple times, every single day.

[ViaSwiss]

1. You are getting engaged way to fast. It all risk with no benefit that soon. Take it from me brother, I am going through the downside of that situation.

2. My advice is to be as open and frank about it as soon as your can. Do not sugarcoat it, do not make up half truths to make it seem less weird. Just be open and vulnerable. I regret trying to ease into the convos and making it seem different than it was. When you can get it out in the open 1. it takes tons of stress off you and 2. it really lets you see what kind of partner you are with. If they are supportive and 99%+ in your corner, then you know you got a good one. If they are not supportive or make you feel bad about the process or are unwilling to look into it anymore then you know you do not have someone you should spend more energy with.

[gene308]

I would start the conversation with: Pleasing and satisfying you in the bedroom is very important to as a partner, a lover and a man. I had a problem I owned it and had it fixed . I would like to tell you abou t.

[considering89]

Thanks everyone for the responses so far.

Just to clarify, the "conversation" I'm referring to is the conversation where you are NOT yet implanted but think it may be the right path. How did you talk to your partner about the possibility of an implant to get their thoughts (and hopefully support)?

[tomas1]

I'd guess best case would be for you to tell her about possibly getting an implant.
It would help to educate her about the process like sharing posts from the younger people on this site.

The best case part would be for her to say she really didn't like you to keep using pills and other stuff.

One thing I can guarantee is that multiple sexual episodes daily would be no problem.
Now I have to convince my 80 year old wife that daily sex is normal.

[Lost Sheep]

Hello,

For those who got implanted while in a relationship (marriage or dating), how did you first bring up the topic of implants with your partner?

- How did you start the conversation?
- How did you explain implants?
- How did you sell the benefits?
- What questions/comments did your partner have?

I'm 31 and in a dating relationship of 4 months that will progress to engagement within several months. But open to thoughts/experiences from all implanted men. Thank you.

What does she know about your erectile difficulty? How knowledgeable and open-minded is she about sexual functions (physiology, alternative sex practices, etc.) ? Have you already been using other methods of erectile aids/treatments or had conversations with her about this?

[considering89]

.

[wunhunglo]

You are getting engaged way to fast. It all risk with no benefit that soon. Take it from me brother, I am going through the downside of that situation.

Although,unsolicited by the op, @viaswiss is right on the money—your money. Religous and societal beliefs aside, marriage is a financial contract HEAVILY skewed to the female.

With that said, follow @lostsheep’s advice. But before you start the conversation, make
sure you think through some tangible things you want to be different after the conversation and how to guide the conversation back if it goes sideways. I highly recommend the book “Crucial Conversations”

Good luck!