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Did you tell your kids that you have ED and getting a implant. They would have to know about the surgery if they are home for the six weeks.

Can you hide the surgery from your wife if she is away for few days?

Do not try to hide it from your wife, be upfront and vulnerable with her about it.

My son is 4yo, he won't know what is going on, but someday when he is old enough, I will have the convo with him. I dont want him to go through the 16 years of hell I did.

Shilloh,
I would not hide it from my wife.
She took me to surgery and spent night with me in hospital room.
My daughters are adults and them both are working at the hospitals.
I am not hiding anything within my family.
I did not tell my brother and sisters because that is irrelevant to them.
My brother knows about my prostate cancer and my bad outcome of radical prostatectomy.
MK

While the decision was ultimately mine, I definitely involved my wife. There was no way I could have kept the surgery a secret from her.

Outside of my wife, two close friends, and medical professionals, people think I had surgery to repair a hernia. That includes my two young-adult children. I'm fairly active and do a good amount of physical work, so it was a good excuse for me.

shiloh2218 wrote:Did you tell your kids that you have ED and getting a implant. They would have to know about the surgery if they are home for the six weeks.

Can you hide the surgery from your wife if she is away for few days?

You may be able to hide the surgery from your wife and if she likes surprises in bed that MIGHT be a good idea. (Scenario: She is away for two or three months and you want to surprise her with a viable erection.)

I say "MIGHT" because this has a zero.zero/zero/zero/one percent chance of being a good idea.

If you want to hide the surgery from your wife forever and you do not intend to ever have sex with her, you MIGHT be able to pull that off if she is away for a couple months.

If you want to hide the surgery from your wife until she comes home after a few days to find that you have done this without her knowledge, but you have discussed it with her beforehand and she was supportive and now you want to present her with a fait accompli, that has a slightly better chance of coming out well. SLIGHTLY.

If you think you can manage the after-surgery care without your wife or some other person to change your bandages, inspect your incision, bring you meals in bed, think again. A wife is usually the best person do do this, unless you have a caring mistress or someone else.

I admit, I have jumped to some conclusions about WHY you would want to hide this from your wife - your life's partner I suppose. So, some of this advice is tongue-in-cheek, but this is serious business. So, I have to ask, why would you want to hide it from your wife? Most women I have known would have negative reactions of various kinds if someone they had taken vows with would do this without their participation. As far as that goes, most women with whom I was sharing a bed (much less a household and children) would be insulted, dismayed and hurt even if our relationship was casual.

Hiding stuff from a wife is a recipe for disaster, my friend.

Nobody but my wife and my doctors know about my implant. We were empty nesters before I got mine, so the kids don't know about it. My wife was not in favor of the implant (more because of the surgery than the device itself), and as things turned out it never had any kind of effect on her (or on me, for that matter).

I told my sons, just like I told them about the prostate cancer. I also told my son in law. It has been my opinion that they should know to check annually for PSA, and I also felt they should know that ED can be common in men and there are things you can do about it. It's my hope that if they have trouble, they will get it fixed sooner than I did.

Quincy.

shiloh2218 wrote:Can you hide the surgery from your wife if she is away for few days?

Nope, not possible imo.
Boots.

Quincy wrote:I told my sons, just like I told them about the prostate cancer. I also told my son in law. It has been my opinion that they should know to check annually for PSA, and I also felt they should know that ED can be common in men and there are things you can do about it. It's my hope that if they have trouble, they will get it fixed sooner than I did.

Quincy.

I did as Quincy did and think it is best to mention it to your sons. There should be more consideration of how to solve the ED problem.

With my implant my wife was onboard for the whole journey... She supported me from my RP surgery, radiation therapy, pills, injections and the depression. I can't see how I could have done the implant without her knowing and support.
As for my 3 daughters, no I didn't tell them and have no reason to believe that they'd want to know.
I've mentioned it to a couple of male friends.