Did you tell your kids about Implant?

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.
shiloh2218
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed May 26, 2021 5:26 pm

Did you tell your kids about Implant?

Postby shiloh2218 » Mon Jun 07, 2021 11:25 am

Did you tell your kids that you have ED and getting a implant. They would have to know about the surgery if they are home for the six weeks.

Can you hide the surgery from your wife if she is away for few days?

ViaSwiss
Posts: 602
Joined: Fri May 24, 2019 9:09 am

Re: Did you tell your kids about Implant?

Postby ViaSwiss » Mon Jun 07, 2021 11:28 am

Do not try to hide it from your wife, be upfront and vulnerable with her about it.

My son is 4yo, he won't know what is going on, but someday when he is old enough, I will have the convo with him. I dont want him to go through the 16 years of hell I did.
Age 35. Venous Leakage & Post Finasteride Syndrome (PFS) since age 18.
Original Implant | June 25, 2021 | 20cm Titan w 1.5cm & 1cm RTEs
Revision | November 16, 2021 | 26cm | Dr. Hakky

MK1965
Posts: 625
Joined: Thu May 24, 2018 5:32 pm

Re: Did you tell your kids about Implant?

Postby MK1965 » Mon Jun 07, 2021 11:54 am

Shilloh,
I would not hide it from my wife.
She took me to surgery and spent night with me in hospital room.
My daughters are adults and them both are working at the hospitals.
I am not hiding anything within my family.
I did not tell my brother and sisters because that is irrelevant to them.
My brother knows about my prostate cancer and my bad outcome of radical prostatectomy.
MK
IPP 9/5/18; TITAN OTR 18 +1cm RTE,Prostate Ca at 51 y/o; RARP 11/2/16, ED Post RP, Cialis, Viagra, VED,TRIMIX painful, BIMIX ineffective,lost 2+ inches of length after RP. Revision 12/2/20 by Dr Clavell, AMS 700 CX, L 21 R 21+1.5 RTE.

Time2Change
Posts: 416
Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2020 7:32 am

Re: Did you tell your kids about Implant?

Postby Time2Change » Mon Jun 07, 2021 12:04 pm

While the decision was ultimately mine, I definitely involved my wife. There was no way I could have kept the surgery a secret from her.

Outside of my wife, two close friends, and medical professionals, people think I had surgery to repair a hernia. That includes my two young-adult children. I'm fairly active and do a good amount of physical work, so it was a good excuse for me.
55; ED for 22+ years; Coloplast Titan implant on 10/26/20; Dr. Martin Gross; Happy to share my experiences in private messages

Lost Sheep
Posts: 6133
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: Did you tell your kids about Implant?

Postby Lost Sheep » Mon Jun 07, 2021 12:26 pm

shiloh2218 wrote:Did you tell your kids that you have ED and getting a implant. They would have to know about the surgery if they are home for the six weeks.

Can you hide the surgery from your wife if she is away for few days?

You may be able to hide the surgery from your wife and if she likes surprises in bed that MIGHT be a good idea. (Scenario: She is away for two or three months and you want to surprise her with a viable erection.)

I say "MIGHT" because this has a zero.zero/zero/zero/one percent chance of being a good idea.

If you want to hide the surgery from your wife forever and you do not intend to ever have sex with her, you MIGHT be able to pull that off if she is away for a couple months.

If you want to hide the surgery from your wife until she comes home after a few days to find that you have done this without her knowledge, but you have discussed it with her beforehand and she was supportive and now you want to present her with a fait accompli, that has a slightly better chance of coming out well. SLIGHTLY.

If you think you can manage the after-surgery care without your wife or some other person to change your bandages, inspect your incision, bring you meals in bed, think again. A wife is usually the best person do do this, unless you have a caring mistress or someone else.

I admit, I have jumped to some conclusions about WHY you would want to hide this from your wife - your life's partner I suppose. So, some of this advice is tongue-in-cheek, but this is serious business. So, I have to ask, why would you want to hide it from your wife? Most women I have known would have negative reactions of various kinds if someone they had taken vows with would do this without their participation. As far as that goes, most women with whom I was sharing a bed (much less a household and children) would be insulted, dismayed and hurt even if our relationship was casual.

Hiding stuff from a wife is a recipe for disaster, my friend.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
Be part of your medical team
Document pre-op size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

dg_moore
Posts: 1885
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:34 am

Re: Did you tell your kids about Implant?

Postby dg_moore » Mon Jun 07, 2021 4:43 pm

Nobody but my wife and my doctors know about my implant. We were empty nesters before I got mine, so the kids don't know about it. My wife was not in favor of the implant (more because of the surgery than the device itself), and as things turned out it never had any kind of effect on her (or on me, for that matter).
Dave, 80, Maryland - Implant (Titan) 2008 by Dr. Andrew Kramer (failed Sept 2020) - never used due to a stroke that, among other things, ended my sex life.
Life is not the way it's supposed to be, it's the way it is.

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Quincy
Posts: 413
Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2012 6:03 pm
Location: Boise, ID

Re: Did you tell your kids about Implant?

Postby Quincy » Mon Jun 07, 2021 5:44 pm

I told my sons, just like I told them about the prostate cancer. I also told my son in law. It has been my opinion that they should know to check annually for PSA, and I also felt they should know that ED can be common in men and there are things you can do about it. It's my hope that if they have trouble, they will get it fixed sooner than I did.

Quincy.
71, Boise area, Married
ED from type 2 diabetes and PCa radiation.
AMS LGX surgery 6/5/18 with Edward Karpman in Silicon Valley, 18cm+3RTE

boots1959
Posts: 77
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2021 7:01 pm
Location: Australia

Re: Did you tell your kids about Implant?

Postby boots1959 » Mon Jun 07, 2021 6:00 pm

shiloh2218 wrote:Can you hide the surgery from your wife if she is away for few days?

Nope, not possible imo.
Boots.
Implanted AMS 700 lgx, Jan 15th 2021. 18cm with 3cm rte.

October26
Posts: 381
Joined: Sun Sep 20, 2020 2:17 pm

Re: Did you tell your kids about Implant?

Postby October26 » Mon Jun 07, 2021 7:44 pm

Quincy wrote:I told my sons, just like I told them about the prostate cancer. I also told my son in law. It has been my opinion that they should know to check annually for PSA, and I also felt they should know that ED can be common in men and there are things you can do about it. It's my hope that if they have trouble, they will get it fixed sooner than I did.

Quincy.


I did as Quincy did and think it is best to mention it to your sons. There should be more consideration of how to solve the ED problem.
Coloplast Titan 22 cm + 1.5 cm RTE 10/26/2020

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AussiePete
Posts: 166
Joined: Tue Sep 17, 2019 5:00 am
Location: Perth, Australia
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Re: Did you tell your kids about Implant?

Postby AussiePete » Mon Jun 07, 2021 8:49 pm

With my implant my wife was onboard for the whole journey... She supported me from my RP surgery, radiation therapy, pills, injections and the depression. I can't see how I could have done the implant without her knowing and support.
As for my 3 daughters, no I didn't tell them and have no reason to believe that they'd want to know.
I've mentioned it to a couple of male friends.
RP 2001, Radiation. Pills, Caverject, Tri-mix Injections all useless. Implanted 2016 AMS 700 LGX 15cm +3 RTE. Happy with the results. Better than having a limp dick.
Married 40+ yrs.
Up for show and tell here in Perth, AU.


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