Happy, scared, little panicked

[Lost Sheep]

Quick update and review so I can get my thoughts in order and vent a bit.

(edited for brevity)

I know what is next, I am one spit away from being forced into a F-Ing Damn mother F-ing mallebale implant Because my fucking balls won’t behave. This is hard for me because i’m a crazy optimistic guy who sees all hope slipping away. Trying to stay afloat here.

Even the most optimistic of us are entitled to vent and take on a pessimistic countenance once in a while. It enables us to clear our heads and renew/reset our perspectives.

Even if you wind up with a malleable while your penis and scrotum recover from all the misadventures, remember the malleables are just there as placeholders and destined to be replaced by inflatables eventually. Your wife will have to be patient (as well as yourself) and, in a few months, you will both have smiles on your faces.

[cbinspok]

Thanks LS. My expectations are the problem, The ironic thing is my Dick even though I only had it operational for 2 weeks was so Excellent.
I need to go doment for 3 weeks.

[cbinspok]

So Happy today
Its been a long haul from March 18 to today July 21. I beat the infection and my Lgx is safe within me* (*I do have to keep careful watch for 30 days to be totally cleared, But Dr says highly unlikely of another flare up infection- He’s says I beat a Big bullet!

Post Infection -Thank God, & a bombshell
Well pushing the door on 5 MONTHS! along my pathway.. saw Dr Voelske my UR & surgeon today. He pumped my junk up for the first time in like 10weeks including the new reservoir. It was painful but wonderful to have the 3 piece still in tacked and working (its been nearly 10 weeks sense the pre operation shut down) Dr said I dodge a big bullet! a one in ten chance that the infection would clear. I’m off the antibiotics after taking them for 5+ weeks. NOW I have to stay clear for 30 days in order to keep my AMS penal gear. I feel good and am hopeful. Peter lives- Better lives through chemistry Lol.
A note to the guys just starting their journey’…Let me tell you, It doesn’t always go text book- ie like the AMS animation would suggest. You have to roll with the punches. I got so depressed during this long haul with my balls leaking infection and having to imagine a life with a malleable implant, I sold my race car, my joy- Just took it down and sold it in like in an hour flat. After another 2 weeks of the antibiotics they started working and I no longer had to wear a “drip pad” bandage in my jock. I normally don’t ware underwear in the summer so that had been going on for over 3 weeks. Happy & I’m free ballin now! You new guys - just do what your Dr asks and be patient, like i was-Ha
So fingers crossed My life is going to get much better, The bombshell..Was when relating this positive Dr visit to my wife, she informed me that the last year of no sex was good for her and she intends not to attempt a restart. (she does suffer from intense dry vage, even with meds that did not help)
Man I was looking forward to catching up for a lost year. Cleared for sex for the first time with a pecker that gets hard albeit only 5 inches- its a start and im happy. I Am at quite a loss now as to next step. I do know I’m going to aggressively cycle, like I have said before I want at minimum my 6X5 totally back. Who ever I can get to help play with it is in the air. Lol. I’m not opposed to swinging in a new direction but not experienced in that lane. finding a lady friend would feel very much like cheating after 41 years its plain and complicated. Lol.
Lastly want to THANK all you blokes for your thoughts, I read everything even if I don’t feel I can add any value with a comment. It all gets soaked in. I feel like I know many of you and we would be friends after so many months, wish I had found the forum way before my implant op. I’m Not going to any beat up on my Dr, he did do an awesome job on my dick and my “latent erections” are great so he did great not screwing up the stuff that was working. Sorry for the long note, there is more but another day.
keep fighting and thats for thoughts and well wises.
(agfa Im still looking for that medical journal that related the 8/80 intel )

[Lost Sheep]

So Happy today
Its been a long haul from March 18 to today July 21. )

So glad to hear that you are on the mend.

Sorry to hear of your wife's attitude. If you take it easy on her, she might come around. If she liked sex before, having a working penis available might get her thinking of old times. We can hope.

[Gt1956]

So Happy today
Its been a long haul from March 18 to today July 21. )

So glad to hear that you are on the mend.
Sorry to hear of your wife's attitude. If you take it easy on her, she might come around. If she liked sex before, having a working penis available might get her thinking of old times. We can hope

Fixing her pain during intercourse is key in my opinion. That gets even more complicated if she isn't so inclined to seek & follow medical advice. Best of luck to you.

[Lost Sheep]

So Happy today
Its been a long haul from March 18 to today July 21. )

So glad to hear that you are on the mend.
Sorry to hear of your wife's attitude. If you take it easy on her, she might come around. If she liked sex before, having a working penis available might get her thinking of old times. We can hope

Fixing her pain during intercourse is key in my opinion. That gets even more complicated if she isn't so inclined to seek & follow medical advice. Best of luck to you.

Unsolicited advice:

Foreplay begins in the kitchen. Rubbing her shoulders while she does dishes (or sending her into the easy chair in the living room while you do them) tends to warm a woman up.

Taking off her shoes and socks (stockings) and washing and rubbing her feet is a sure winner (if not for foreplay, but at the very least for some smiles)

Then letting her take the lead works for me. Eventually, when her signals are unmistakable, I will once again take the lead.

Just an unsolicited suggestion of one scenario that has worked for me in the past.

[cbinspok]

Thanks guys, I haven’t given up I love her and will not rush her. The. Years of frustrating ed has taken a mental toll on our marriage and we get along great but intimate time has been beaten up with failing drugs and older bodies. For now im cycling and being kind about the whole issue we have been through a lot and it’s strange for me to feel “ whole “ for the first time in twenty years. They say time heals all. Hope so , Im trying to get her to stay on the meds sh got from her doc. Thanks for your kindness
Cb

[cbinspok]

7 month update, last office visit.
A quick review on how I got here
March 2021 had first op with Dr Voelzke In Spokane wa. It went well my penis was perfect!, all the normal issues and LOTS of bruising. unfortunately my reservoir was very visible protruding from my right side. After a few weeks recovery I was able to cycle, my dick was 4.5” but symmetrical and looked great and felt great. We decided it was best to schedule a fix surgery to correct the reservoir location. Its about this time I got a infection in the scrotum so I was not able to cycle any longer and had to wait on the antibiotics before the correction op was made.
In May the reservoir was moved plus the pump was replaced and relocated as it had been deep at the very bottom of the scrotum, I requested this as they were knocking me out anyway and did not like the pumps location.
After 2nd op-all was well, I was sporting a new scar in my abdomen. Unfortunately I was not released to cycle for several weeks in order to heal. It was then a 2nd infection that was consisted sever sprang up. A very long corse of antibiotics was ordered. A month and half past and the fear of being re-made with a malleable had me very worried. Happily Dr said I “dodged a bullet.” Then In July I was thankfully released to cycle It had been 5ish months at that point and I desperately wanted to return to cycling. I was back to 4.5”
So the 2 past months of cycling twice a day like a mad man Lol. Each session for one hour which has gained me an inch+ so now Im over 5.5” X 5.25 Yeah! still pulling for 6”. Unfortunately after all the months of not cycling my Lgx on the left side was deformed. Now it was bowing with a lump downward and there was (is) noticeable “stuff” just under skin towards the base. Also a very notable fold or tear perhaps in outer Lgx layer, This occurs at the exact point where the cylinder bows south. So yesterday I met with the Dr for probably the last time.
I showed the Dr the issues and he thinks its not an issue and the op was a success ( I think that too generally -Hey I no longer have ED !) He believes its related to the peyronies. But it wasn’t like this after the first op it was perfect albeit short. Lol. …Hey, now I am able to use my junk and besides the deformity on one side it looks pretty good. The shaft sort of has a lump to it, & a noticeable “dent” in the defect area when flaccid.
Regardless I’m going to use it till it blows out. Drive it hard and put it away wet, then go for a Titan I think.
I wish I had found you brothers months before my op but life is about learning every day- I’m good on that. At one year I’ll post pictures as promised shooten for 6 — Till then,, Thanks all !

[Agfa13]

Glad all is well! Next up, researching how to get a bigger dick! I WAS ROBBED!!!

BTW CB, got the 8/80 from your journal. Have no idea how you came up with it since all the reading I have done (not voracious like you), says best to have surgery in Spring, as humidity is lowest. I thought Winter would be best, but what do I know.

Ag

[markwal6]

Never really worried about it. Wasn't working well anyway so what will you be out? Find a good surgeon and id go penal scrotal, Less chance of nerve damage.