Why Can't I Orgasm or Ejaculate Now?

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.
stephen54
Posts: 481
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2019 11:43 am
Location: Chicago

Re: Why Can't I Orgasm or Ejaculate Now?

Postby stephen54 » Fri Jan 15, 2021 7:58 am

barrylandon wrote:I'm so damn frustrated that after more than 8 months post-op I can't orgasm or ejaculate during sex, something I was able to do routinely before my IPP surgery.


Hey Barry,

I'm sorry you are having this experience.

I'm 14 months post-IPP surgery. Having an overall great experience with my new dick, but for sure, I agree and you're by no means alone - sensitivity is not the same as prior. It's plenty enjoyable for me, but it (my pleasure, sensitivity, the million sensations that are the building blocks to orgasms) all have a bit of a different nature to them these days and it's taken some mental and physical adjustments.

Curious, did you do injections before your IPP, for how long, and what was your overall experience if you injected as relates to sensitivity/orgasm/ejaculation?

Reason I ask is because during the 9 years I was injecting I had sort of trained myself to not come for really extended periods of time. I had something of an odd dynamic with myself in the sense that the TriMix hardons went forever and there should not have really logically been too much of a worry on my part about "orgasm = loss of erection"; that just mostly wasn't the case. Injecting should have given me the confidence and the green light to come pretty much whenever, because coming didn't mean we had to be done- but strangely the opposite became my thing.

I was capable of coming, but purposefully prolonged things by some mental gymnastics I won't even try to explain here. Somehow I just increasingly (with this girl, now my current wife, and this was certainly not the dynamic with my ex-wife) prolonged and prolonged and prolonged, to the point where my ejaculation and orgasm started to become very secondary for me. With the new girl (infinitely more sexual than my ex) I just found I so enjoyed every nuance and possibility with sex that I never wanted it to end. The journey became the thing. Sessions stretched for hours. Orgasm for me became a side issue. I was (and still am) genuinely happy about this. It serves me somehow and mostly fits me. I do think that, quietly and over a lot of years, my dick's sensitivity was somewhat impacted due to the needles. I think.

Having said all that...my wife now, still, years later, gets very turned on by the thought of her being able to make me come very quickly. This nourishes something in her. Says something deep to her I think, reinforces to her how crazily she turns me on, that I can't even resist, I can't even hold back, she makes me have no control, etc. With the right physicality around my dick...the right pressure, the right movements, the right situation where she's doing and saying filthy things to me...I am now kind of in the beginning stages of learning (I guess "re-learning") how to just let my mental shit go and to give myself permission to come. It is a process! The mind does what the mind does, and that little bastard inserts itself and gets in the way too often.

But, my mental games aside...there IS something different physically post-implant. I don't know. There really does seem to be a re-learning of some key parts of how my dick works and responds, and at 55 that's been odd for me (us) at times. We're trying to approach it with a lot of curiosity. Partially inflated BJs can get me to orgasm, but only if she is using a randomly alternating and really firm grip on my shaft. Handjobs...similar thing...difficult for me to get off that way unless there's very firm pressure on the max inflated shaft and a ton of spit/lube and her fingers/hand applying perineal area pressure helps accelerate things. When I masturbate I can come reliably but typically only with a lot of firm pressure + some lube. Vaginal sex - positions which put a really heavy load and pressure on my dick work best...missionary, doggy, these don't really deliver that hard pressure. Reverse cowgirl can, if she's very aggressive atop me. The absolute most reliable vaginal position we've found for applying the consistent very firm pressure I seem to want and need to come, is Amazon. Amazon is our vaginal go-to if she wants to make me come reasonably quickly.

Somewhat interestingly, my path to coming seems to be shortest in the situations where she is being the most assertive and aggressive, where she is the one exerting the most control and where the power dynamic shifts decidedly to her. I'm honestly not sure what to make of all that but it's fun and, I am certain, not purely physicality in play. Paging Dr. Freud...?

Barry, what about toys? Vibrators? Have you used them and what has been your experience? Will a vibrator deliver orgasms reliably? Aneros-type prostate stimulators?

When I'm having some difficulty coming, the right vibrator very reliably throws me over the edge, usually very quickly, no hand or hard pressure on shaft necessary. So we've continued to incorporate different vibes into things, including while we are actively fucking she may use one on me. I'll use a vibe when masturbating to come quickly. As much as some other things need work to get me to orgasm, the vibrator is seemingly mostly gold, it doesn't let us down. Highly recommend things like Aneros. While fucking. Just our experience, but there's some connection to the perineum / prostate having a lot of pressure on them which notably accelerates (and intensifies) my orgasm. For whatever it may be worth...!
54 yrs. Blessed with highly sexual 52 yr old wife. Pills 10 years, then 9 yrs Trimix. 28 cm Titan Touch XL 2019, Laurence Levine, Rush Univ Med Ctr, Chicago. Implant = nonstop fun. Hypogonadal, so also 10+ years testosterone replacement.

indusvalley
Posts: 260
Joined: Thu May 02, 2019 5:27 pm

Re: Why Can't I Orgasm or Ejaculate Now?

Postby indusvalley » Fri Jan 15, 2021 9:50 am

I noticed most ppl here are older folks. Are younger guys also facing problems of ejaculation after implant? I wasn’t aware this was going to be a problem post implant. Is this rare or common?
A young guy in his early 30s from South Asia. Implanted Titan 22cm by Dr. Tariq Hakky in Atlanta (Dec 2020). Amazing doctor! No pain during recovery. My size is 5.75” x 4.6” which is better than pre-OP size of 5.6” x 4.5”. Hoping to gain more in future.

Lost Sheep
Posts: 6133
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: Why Can't I Orgasm or Ejaculate Now?

Postby Lost Sheep » Fri Jan 15, 2021 3:46 pm

oldbeek wrote:That good sleep thing may be it. I am Horney as hell when I wake up. 2 yers out, I can get orgasms if the wife will pump me a little. She recently gave me a blow job and I came 3 times in a row. But it does take a lot more consentration.

Testosterone levels are at their peak early in the day. My labs will not take blood tests for T levels after 9-10 AM for that reason. T levels fall throughout the day. Being refreshed after a good night's sleep also helps, for sure.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
Be part of your medical team
Document pre-op size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

barrylandon
Posts: 266
Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2019 1:09 am
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Re: Why Can't I Orgasm or Ejaculate Now?

Postby barrylandon » Fri Jan 15, 2021 6:23 pm

Thanks for the additional input, guys. A special shout out to stephen54...thanks for the detailed post. You aptly referred to the "million sensations that are the building blocks to orgasms"...that's what I'm missing now...that pleasurable and almost inevitable build up to orgasm/ejaculation.
In my signature I do mention that I did injections (for almost 2 years) but had to give that up due to severe pain and 4 trips to the ER for Priapism from PGE-1 (papaverine alone or with phentolomine didn't work at all) and formation of scar tissue leading to the onset of PD. Alas, vibrators do nothing to aid sensitivity...all I feel is,well, good vibrations, but not ones that are building blocks to orgasm/ejaculation.
Even while relaxed and "shutting off" my mind by vaping medical marijuana (Indica) before sex hasn't helped. Keep the cards and letter cumming! I'm still hoping someone out there has a suggestion that I haven't already tried and failed with.
Implanted 5/6/20 by Dr. Jesse Mills at UCLA; AMS 700 LGX 18 cm w/2 cm RTEs. I'm 73 & fit but had ED for 20 years. Pills/injections ultimately failed, including 3 ER trips for Priapism; Shockwave & embryonic stem cell therapies didn't help either.

frwmw1
Posts: 422
Joined: Thu Oct 01, 2020 7:38 am

Re: Why Can't I Orgasm or Ejaculate Now?

Postby frwmw1 » Wed Jan 20, 2021 7:37 pm

Joshua Leonard you do realise he has had a penile implant, don't you.
45yo, venous leak. Pills increased tinnitus (very rare). Using bimix+atropine, 0.2 of:
Atropine Sulfate: 52MCG/ML, Phentolamine MES: 0.9MG/ML, Papaverine HCL: 26MG/ML

hopeful_future
Posts: 255
Joined: Thu Oct 31, 2019 7:58 pm

Re: Why Can't I Orgasm or Ejaculate Now?

Postby hopeful_future » Wed Jan 20, 2021 8:38 pm

indusvalley wrote:I noticed most ppl here are older folks. Are younger guys also facing problems of ejaculation after implant? I wasn’t aware this was going to be a problem post implant. Is this rare or common?


I'm 40, so "younger". While I have good sensitivity overall post-implant, there's a definite difference, both in sensation and ability to orgasm. Takes longer for me to orgasm, and oral is not nearly as nice as it used to be. For oral, the issue isn't sensitivity, it's just that my tip poking the back of someone's throat puts pressure on the tips in my glans, which I find uncomfortable. Because of this, I've definitely gone from primarily oral and manual to reach orgasms to primarily penetration and/or manual...neither of those have you bumping into anything with your tip (at least not at my length, haha).
39yo, ED since sexually active, moderate to severe. Bisexual. Pills helped a little, trimix and muse failed. Implanted 8/25/20 by Dr. Karpman, 22cm+1RTE Titan Touch.

barrylandon
Posts: 266
Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2019 1:09 am
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Re: Why Can't I Orgasm or Ejaculate Now?

Postby barrylandon » Wed Jan 20, 2021 9:18 pm

Still hoping some fellow members of the Bionic Brotherhood who had this problem post-op and successfully overcame it will weigh in on this topic by sharing what helped them. I've tried and failed with bi-mix and tri-mix urethral gels, oxytocin nasal spray and high doses of Cialis. I haven't been able to orgasm/ejaculate with my sexy wife ever since implantation almost 9 months ago and even masturbation is difficult. I rarely had a problem with orgasm/ejaculation pre-op and my surgeon claims that nothing happened during my surgery to cause this problem. Thanks!
Implanted 5/6/20 by Dr. Jesse Mills at UCLA; AMS 700 LGX 18 cm w/2 cm RTEs. I'm 73 & fit but had ED for 20 years. Pills/injections ultimately failed, including 3 ER trips for Priapism; Shockwave & embryonic stem cell therapies didn't help either.

newbie443
Posts: 1827
Joined: Fri Dec 01, 2017 9:41 pm
Location: Sedgwick county, Kansas USA

Re: Why Can't I Orgasm or Ejaculate Now?

Postby newbie443 » Wed Jan 20, 2021 11:12 pm

I think most of what I have to post has been said so this is just my way to explain it. I was a ladies first guy and always wanted to "give" my partner an orgasm. Then I found out that all I could really do is not screw it up for her. We are each responsible for our own. We can help or be helped but it is up to us. And I think there is more stuff that goes into getting a big O than getting an erection. And there is a whole bunch that goes into getting an erection. I had a lot of problems having and orgasm. After implant I would masturbate and give up as it just did not happen. I would get tired of trying. Still happens after nearly 3 years sometimes but I have issues that you don't with pain. But it is a lot better.

So you hear folks talk about the new you. That is the old you is gone and things are different now. So what has worked for years and is wired into you no longer works the way it used to. If feels different because it is different. So what you need to do is to do is forget the old and just enjoy what feels good. Most likely what happened is the same with me and some men in that we had sensitivity loss. This takes a very long time to return in many cases. While that goes on you start having bad thoughts. So now you have this mental thing that keeps getting in the way. And it did with me and also women I was dating and having sex with. As I could see that women also want to "give" an orgasm to a partner. So I talked with them and explained to them I really liked having sex and wanted it with them or I would be somewhere else. That I wanted it so bad I had surgery and that it was more difficult now for me to orgasm. Many women say they enjoy having sex even if they don't have an orgasm every time. That is me now. I really enjoy sex even if I don't have an orgasm.

Ok now for some solutions. For the metal things you just have to let go your concern about having an orgasm. You can have one so that is not an issue. It just is not the same as it was before because you are not the same. Stop worrying about it and start enjoying having sex and find things that really feel good now. Talk to your wife about it so she understands it is not her. You might try to show her what it is you do to orgasm and have her help you. This may help both of you. With me this can take up to close to an hour but other times less than 15 minutes. She may not want to do this but that is ok at least she knows that it is not her. You are just different now and you still want to have sex with her. As nerve sensitivity slowly returns and you just as or even more slowly adjust to the new you things will get better. And as the saying goes practice makes perfect. So keep having sex and enjoying it. Let go of the part about having an orgasm. Once you do that things will improve. And think of all the sex you and your wife can have until it does.

I hope this helps friend. Wishing only good things going forward with this for you. If you want to talk just send me a PM and I'll get you my phone number.
Injections failed. Implanted 3-21-18 AMS 700 LGX 21 + 1 RTE 100 cc reservoir 6.5" L 5" G Dr. Kramer.

Proximal Perforation Sling Repair 4/13/21 Dr. Broghammer

66 years young.

Will show and tell and talk with others.

barrylandon
Posts: 266
Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2019 1:09 am
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Re: Why Can't I Orgasm or Ejaculate Now?

Postby barrylandon » Thu Jan 21, 2021 12:26 am

Thank you so much for what you wrote, newbie443. I'm going to PM you.
Implanted 5/6/20 by Dr. Jesse Mills at UCLA; AMS 700 LGX 18 cm w/2 cm RTEs. I'm 73 & fit but had ED for 20 years. Pills/injections ultimately failed, including 3 ER trips for Priapism; Shockwave & embryonic stem cell therapies didn't help either.

newbie443
Posts: 1827
Joined: Fri Dec 01, 2017 9:41 pm
Location: Sedgwick county, Kansas USA

Re: Why Can't I Orgasm or Ejaculate Now?

Postby newbie443 » Thu Jan 21, 2021 1:42 am

indusvalley wrote:I noticed most ppl here are older folks. Are younger guys also facing problems of ejaculation after implant? I wasn’t aware this was going to be a problem post implant. Is this rare or common?


This depends. If you read the OP signature you can see he has had some problems that can cause loss of sensitivity before implant. And some men have issues that are corrected when surgery is done with the implant. So some do and some don't. Also certain meds can cause this and there is a section on this forum about that. So it is not uncommon or rare to take longer due to most being older and on meds for something or another and having damage from years of ED. But it is not rare or uncommon for men to not have any change either. Depends on a lot of things. No real need to worry about it at all. All worrying dose is get in the way of having fun.
Injections failed. Implanted 3-21-18 AMS 700 LGX 21 + 1 RTE 100 cc reservoir 6.5" L 5" G Dr. Kramer.

Proximal Perforation Sling Repair 4/13/21 Dr. Broghammer

66 years young.

Will show and tell and talk with others.


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