Lost all desires

[truckrglenn]

I'm coming up on 9 weeks post surgery. I've been sick for the past 3 weeks with a bladder infection and either a nasty cold or flu. But I've had headaches and a bad fever.

Because of this I've only partially inflated my implant once since being released by my surgeon. Right now I sit here with no desire to even try to inflate. Heck I've even lost all of my sexual desires too.

My biggest thing is the size of the pump. Nothing online prepared me for that. It's really a lot bigger than what online pictures portrayed. I didn't think to ask the Dr if he had a pump in the office that I could have held. It probably wouldn't have changed my mind. Just prepared me more.

Just feeling depressed and needing to vent some place out loud.

[Hounds68]

I sure dont know exactly how or what you are feeling, except you know that all feelings are valid and important. They do however pass, allowing new and perhaps better feelings to take over. The process of an implant is more than sexual or physical. Our very psyche, good or bad, revolves so much around our penis and how it defines us as men, obviously. You have something remarkable in your body. There is something never before known in your balls. Of course it is strange. And yet, for me, that strange thing, rubbing and bouncing, was a physical reminder of new possibilities. It will become a part of you, and relatively soon. Forget about pumping or sex. Touch it, feel it, explore it. I applaude your openness and i also know there are hundreds of us who are here to listen and support you.

[Lost Sheep]

I'm coming up on 9 weeks post surgery. I've been sick for the past 3 weeks with a bladder infection and either a nasty cold or flu. But I've had headaches and a bad fever.

Because of this I've only partially inflated my implant once since being released by my surgeon. Right now I sit here with no desire to even try to inflate. Heck I've even lost all of my sexual desires too.

My biggest thing is the size of the pump. Nothing online prepared me for that. It's really a lot bigger than what online pictures portrayed. I didn't think to ask the Dr if he had a pump in the office that I could have held. It probably wouldn't have changed my mind. Just prepared me more.

Just feeling depressed and needing to vent some place out loud.

I hear your pain, my brother.

I cannot feel what you are going through, but testify that I can relate, for I have had to deal with setbacks on occasion. Usually only one at a time, though.

The advice I can give you is an echo of Hounds68's advice, only more to this point: You must "endeavor to persevere", for "this too, shall pass".

When you do eventually come out the other side of this passage, you will be much happier if you apply all the gumption you can muster (as difficult as that might be) and "power through" this difficult time.


Cycling your implant is VERY IMPORTANT in these first months. One surgeon I met with told me of a man who, for a few months after implant, had arm surgery and could not pump up daily. He suffered size loss and difficulty deflating to a comfortable flaccid also.

You may find it difficult to get up daily and brush your teeth and pay the price later of tooth decay.

You may find it difficult to check the oil on your car regularly and pay the price later for an engine rebuild.

You may find it difficult to get up daily and eat right or exercise and pay the price later of weight gain or high cholesterol.

You may find it difficult to inflate and deflate twice daily for 30-60 minutes and pay the price later of less-than-optimal erections.

Regular maintenance of your implant, your engine, your home furnace, your teeth is important whether you are depressed or not.

You must power through. Even if you don't feel like it.

Buck up. This too, shall pass and the world will be brighter later. Trust me. Close your eyes and use blind faith. You have nothing to lose for it cannot get any worse. And, since it is very bad right now, there is only one way to go...up

And just one way to get there. Persevere. You are strong. You went through the surgery against fear of pain and inconvenience. Just go a little bit further. Gumption.

Also, drink cranberry juice. It is good for the kidneys. Pure juice, not cranberry drink. Best is to make your own by simmering fresh cranberries and the pulp is good fiber, too.

[C_lab34]

I know how you feel. For the first couple of months after being implanted, it felt pretty unnatural to me. I have an AMS CX, and the pump is pretty big, and it felt very obtrusive. But over time, your body accepts it. And as others have said, your feelings change. I always try to remind myself, that when I begin to despair about some condition or state, that it's not forever. You can adjust your attitude, even if the physical facts are unchangeable.

[dg_moore]

My surgery went well, and the healing was normal. But by the time I was healed all desire was gone - the idea of sex became unappealing. This was in 2008, and it has never changed. We have never used the implant. My wife has been fine with it, since she lost all interest before I got the implant. Life doesn't always turn out the way you expect.

[truckrglenn]

I had a phone call earlier, turns out that I tested positive for covid 19. I guess that answers why I'm feeling this way.

[dg_moore]

I had a phone call earlier, turns out that I tested positive for covid 19. I guess that answers why I'm feeling this way.

Sorry to hear about this - best wishes for a complete recovery.

[Lost Sheep]

I had a phone call earlier, turns out that I tested positive for covid 19. I guess that answers why I'm feeling this way.

My sympathies, truckrglenn. I wondered about C-19 as a possibility but did not want to ask.

All my advice about powering through this period still applies, especially since it is sure to be only temporary. Do not let C-19 interfere with your surgical recover.

Praying for your swift recovery and the health of your family and those close to you.

[Hounds68]

There is not one of us who does not wish you full recovery, a healthy new beggining and a resolution to all that you experienced prior to the diagnosis God's Blessings,

[tomas1]

Wow, sorry to hear that you have the virus.
My first impression was a testosterone thing.
When I was first diagnosed with PC, my doc suggested I stop the T shots.
My libido crashed and I didn't pump for awhile and had no desire for sex.
I also felt like crap so I resumed the shots and got back to my OLD self.