Introspection alert: Adjusting to the prosthesis?

[Lost Sheep]

There are a few articles on the psychological adjustments one makes with the replacement of a lost body part with a prosthetic. Virtually none on the psychological adjustments engendered by a prosthetic penile implant.

I am becoming more accustomed to the ability to produce and maintain an erection and to wield it with more skill (it really DOES take practice that I missed for four decades). But I still do not feel "whole".

My penis, and more to the point, my erection, is still not fully incorporated into my body image.

Who here has experienced the feeling that (once implanted) he is still not "whole". A re-enabled disabled person. Essentially, a man with a mechanical penis?

How long was it before that went away and your body self-image became accepting of the prosthetic?

Does it ever become so "natural" that it feels as integral as your "original equipment" did (when it worked)?

Don't get me wrong. I feel MUCH better about myself and my ability to get an erection and have sex/make love. But even though sex with my lover is just as physically satisfying as it was when I was 20, sex just isn't quite the same as it was in the totality.

[Agfa13]

Interesting.
I thought it was only me, but I guess not:)
When I 1st started on this journey, I actually did it because I could see the writing on the wall. I was filling up the syringe more and more, and this was why I decided to get the implant. I was always having trouble maintaining an erection, so as time went on, things became more difficult, no pun.
When Bimix entered the picture after trying several other avenues, I definitely was excited. This lasted for about 7 years.
After a while, that excitement faded as issues started coming up...esp. the loss in size and girth.
I am not knocking anyone because I have other issues, but after a while, esp. hanging out with a FB who keeps asking me 'why' and saying 'what price for glory', I do have a bit of regret...even with all the positive stories on here, go figure.
For those of you who have seen my 'before' pic, 'Fred' is a beaut:)! I took him for granted, and after the surgeries....gawd, I miss the old me, and I have that nagging 'what if' in the back of my mind. Would just going stronger with Bimix helped me until I kicked the bucket?

The way I feel now, I am going along with the 'new' me, but the added stress of not being able to do the daily pumping because I am still healing after 7+ months has me depressed some times. I think the waiting to use my dick adds to everything else. Pulling the foreskin back, if i do fuck, I have to tell the person not to squeeze/contract their muscles because it hurts. I am not able to wash myself normally when I shower because the handling will become uncomfortable, so I am still gentle when I wash set.

[frwmw1]

Talking to the Urologist I'm seeing, he seemed interested in tracking how long I had erectile dysfunction, and seemed to want to make sure the patient was really prepared for an implant, he mentioned something similar to what has been discussed here.

I wonder though, if it helps to also focus on the advantages of the implant, for me the idea of not actually worrying about losing an erection, I've never really experienced that.

I think it's a good idea to compliment yourself on your bionic equipment, so to help with this integration.

I think it's healthy that guys on this board brag about their implants here, it's a safe place for it, and it can help.

I haven't had the operation, so in all likelihood, after the operation I'll be shaking my head at what I wrote here, ha ha! Seems I haven't much else to look forward toward.

[stephen54]

There are definite adjustments to confront. My surgeon was extremely clear with me: "things will be DIFFERENT. that's inevitable and unavoidable. this is a mechanical device. but you will have whatever kind of sex you want, whenever you want it, 100%". He wasn't kidding on either front. It's quite different, and it's quite awesome. These opposing realities coexist for me.

For us.

Recovery was easy. The new oddly resistant flaccid was what it was, but it's evolving positively. I don't care about the hardware in my sac. Everything works. Sex is anxiety free. My confidence has grown exponentially. The good ridiculously outweighs the odd.

I have described elsewhere here how I've to this point reconciled myself with my size loss post-implant. I wish it were not so, but I deal with things as they are, not as I wish them to be. Doing it the other way around causes nothing but pain, so I don't do that shit. Once I validated what this Titan can do, it honestly was a pretty short path for me to deal with the size differential and put it behind me.

Note that I said "for me". Me. But I have a wife here, too, and while she is very happy with my anxiety being totally gone, and happy with our ability to do whatever the hell we want, wherever, however, whenever...she has talked with me about how things are different for HER and how she has been working on finding her ways to adjust, too.

She's a penetration girl and she misses my former girth. That simple. I lost about a full inch of girth. That may not sound like a lot, but for girth it absolutely is. I have zero belief I'll ever recover that inch. My wife LOVED the heft and girth of my old organic original dick, that simple. She's tight, she liked to be pushed and challenged by my thickness. We are dead honest with one another. She misses that part quite a bit. That was a very real thing for her and that's gone. She has a mental thing where, when we're fucking, she's still aware that the dick inside her just doesn't "feel like your dick". My old prior dick. This sometimes distracts her and throws her off track a little. It doesn't stop us from doing all the sweet and all the crazy shit we do, but it's a thing that is there for her and, you know, she's a girl...it's harder for her to shake things off than it is for the typical guy, certainly harder for her to shed things than it is for me.

So I can only speak for us here, but honestly? Her adjustment to this has been much more challenging than my adjustment. Not even close.

[SW0110]

Damn. I never had a thought about it. Once I got my implant and I could get it up like I always could. I really never thought about it again.

Then it stopped working for whatever reason after hernia surgery. I was all messed up again. New one. I was fine again. Not one thought about it. Just pump it up and go.

I just do not care really about it. My knees go, figure they can put one in. Hip. Same deal.

Losing your ability to get an erection is NOT the same as losing a body part. Never would I say that.

I could look down and see my penis, it but it just was there. Nothing more no matter what. A soft little squishy body part. No matter foreplay, nothing. Stimulation, nothing. When I found out about an implant, not hearing about it from my urologist, but having to learn about it online, made me want to have a very personal conversation with him. Why would he not just tell me this existed.

Almost 3 years of hell, then an implant. Sure it takes getting used to. I may be the odd man out on this one, but I never had one minute of adjusting to it. I reconciled in almost 3 years I was not getting erect. Then an implant. I could really care less how it gets hard. When my wife and I are into sex, you do not feel the tips or the cylinders. She can feel the tubing and pump if starts massaging my sac and lower shaft. Otherwise it all just blends together.

I may be in the minority but my only adjusting was figuring out how to pump it up and deflate it.

[frwmw1]

Note that I said "for me". Me. But I have a wife here, too, and while she is very happy with my anxiety being totally gone, and happy with our ability to do whatever the hell we want, wherever, however, whenever...she has talked with me about how things are different for HER and how she has been working on finding her ways to adjust, too.

She's a penetration girl and she misses my former girth. That simple.

What happens if you try the technique where, say in missionary, when entering you push down on the perenium, and counter-leaver you penis toward the g-spot and anterior fornix? Apparently, by pushing down on the perenium it adds sensation of fullness. I think having a rock hard dick would now make this technique possible.

[stephen54]

Note that I said "for me". Me. But I have a wife here, too, and while she is very happy with my anxiety being totally gone, and happy with our ability to do whatever the hell we want, wherever, however, whenever...she has talked with me about how things are different for HER and how she has been working on finding her ways to adjust, too.

She's a penetration girl and she misses my former girth. That simple.

What happens if you try the technique where, say in missionary, when entering you push down on the perenium, and counter-leaver you penis toward the g-spot and anterior fornix? Apparently, by pushing down on the perenium it adds sensation of fullness. I think having a rock hard dick would now make this technique possible.

This is one of the things I actually seriously love about this site...the sexual technicians you meet up with. I'm entirely serious. The people who dissect and think through things like this.

I hear you, yes thank you. There's some truth in what you described, though we accomplish that a little differently.

To be clear: post-implant here, with my diminished girth, she still orgasms consistently and her favorite way to come is in missionary, as it was prior...face to face, all the body contact, all the great intimacy it provides, etc. And so, with the lessened girth, what we're experimenting with more now are really 3 things we've always done but which now seem even more effective for her:

1. Missionary (me on top) - focusing on coital alignment technique, which is just a fancy sex researcher way of describing that long, slow, very firm movement against her vulva/clit...less focus on thrusting, more focus on slower, closer, very firm north and south pressure. Works like a charm. De-emphasizes girth in our opinion.

2. Missionary (her on top, ie, variations of "Amazon"). Similar/converse of above. She controls the alignment, she's in control, she's doing the thrusting and fucking like a guy. We've always loved this for the gender-bend and role reversal, it's hot as hell on its own but seems as above to do the trick for her getting off...arguably better than me on top missionary because she can fine tune and control pressure and pace.

3. Cowgirl, her on top facing me, fucking her vaginally but with a good sized princess plug in her ass. She says the extra internal pressure from the buttplug seems to kind of tighten her vaginal space up and maybe sort of mimics an added girth that isn't so much there anymore. It makes her come like crazy. So for sure, I think there's something to what you describe. We use a heavy stainless steel princess plug, there's some real density and weight to it, and it just compresses her anal space hard against her perineal tissue against her vaginal space with my dick in there and all of that all together...she says she feels overwhelmed with the sensation of being filled then. As well she should.

All of the above benefit from having her favorite vibes close at hand - when she's on the orgasm trajectory and painfully close but can't quite tip over, she reaches for it and she takes care of business efficiently usually with clitoral vibration while I'm still inside and fucking her.

Predictably, she has seemingly no awareness of my girth at the time her mind and body are stupefied into a crazy orgasm.

So we've always got a carefully curated pile of toys at the ready. They all have their purpose. Also, we have some thinner dildos and other toys that one of us will sometimes slip inside her alongside my dick. That quickly ends any girth deliberations and it obviously also provides other mental rocket fuel.

[JiminFL]

The only psychological adjustment I've made is to come to the realization that I have a bionic penis, and for me personally, this is like having an incredible super power. I feel whole again. The man-made plumbing inside is as much a part of me as my wife's stunningly beautiful breast implants are a part of her. My wife loves my "new dick" and we are using the absolute hell out of it. Three years ago I felt washed up and totally over the hill, then I started testosterone replacement therapy. Huge life changer & that combined with my on-demand cock, I'm living my best life with no regrets.