newbie443 wrote:When I was married I never cheated. Even when I could and had opportunities. For me I stood up in front of people I knew and promised to be faithful. And I would never have broken that promise unless it was to add to our sexual relationship and with my wife. I am pretty sure my ex did not beleive that and that she did break her promise to be faithful. But even then I still did not because I would not go back on my promise not only to her but to the others. That would have been an injury to my self that I would have had to carry and I would not do that. If she did then she will have that to carry with her forever.
But now that I am single again I have had several lady friends that I had been having sex with at the same time. I do not count that as cheating as I made no promise to be faithful to any of them. Nor did they to me. Not likely that I will make that promise again but if I do it will be the same. But that is just how I am and what I do as it is best for me. And I really do not care if anyone believes that or not. It is for me to know as being true and living with myself.
Ah...but have you made it clear that you are NOT monogamous to each of these women? Just as "silence implies consent", as Cameron Diaz's character in the movie "Vanilla Sky" said, "Your BODY makes a PROMISE!"
Now, that would not hold up before the bar (in a legal court of law), or even in a bar (where liquor and pickups are found), but sexual relationships generate a sense of possession and loyalty. A promise not to injure the other party, a promise to be truthful to the other party, a promise of full disclosure to the other party. It is at least polite to disclose if (and maybe with whom) one is having relationships with.
I am not trying to be a moral judge here, certainly not of any particular person (I am not unblemished in this regard). I am just pointing out an easily overlooked detail. For some people, having sex implies a promise of some kind which does not have to be written or even spoken aloud to be relied upon.