I just give up.

[Lost Sheep]

An implant does not make a man, nor sex make a relationship. They help, of course. But the rigidity of your self-respect is more effective than the rigidity of your erection to most other people (women included). And those to whom it is not are not worth your while.

I know from personal experience how frustrating it is to not have a clear path to success through a field of inscrutable oppositions. And how refreshing it is to see a clear path to action.

My advice: Take your future into your own hands proactively. Go out, find a kind woman who LIKES you as the first (two) criteria. Level with her when the subject of physical intimacy comes up. (This is not to lower her expectations, but will show her that you are genuine.)

So, get a partner. Get one now.

I posted on a dating site that I was impotent and looking for a kind woman to accompany me on my journey from impotence to the functionality of an implant. Kind of a lab partner.

I got a lot of support...and a few volunteers. Even BEFORE I would be able to perform sexually. They respected my honesty (and commented favorably on my courage - which was not courage, but actually my desperation).

Women are incredibly supportive if they feel trusted, respected and safe. Don't waste a day of a potential relationship just because coital sex is off the table. Remember, even flaccid sex can be quite a lot of fun.

If she knows going in that you cannot have coital sex, there is no pressure to "perform".

Of course, it helps if you are willing to learn cunnilingus or other ways or pleasing her.

Women, especially if they are experienced sexually, know that coitus is not all the porn films make it out to be. They know (from disappointing experience with "intact" men) that other means of satisfaction are often better at fulfilling HER sexual desires. Also, that sex-proximal activities (cuddling, sharing "slack time" together, just BEING together, etc) are often more important to the full-spectrum relationship than fucking.

What I am saying is that just a tiny bit of sex is enough for happiness for both partners if there is more of a relationship around it. Let me make a metaphor.

Happiness in a relationship is the "meat" around the skeleton. So, the "bone" in "boner" is good. But would most women rather have a complete standing rib roast or the stripped rib cage?

Any woman worth spending any time with would much prefer the whole roast, even if it were a filet.

So now, the question is: Are you a whole roast? No matter that your "bone" is slight, robust or even bendy. You could have a lodgepole or squishy toy, no matter. Have you got enough "meat" in your personality? Enough gumption to match your appetite?

Try it. Approach a woman who has signaled that she would like you to approach her. Converse. Relax. If/when she warms up to you, share as much of your sexual history as you feel comfortable (and do this before clothes come off). (((If she splits, she is not someone you want to invest time in, anyway))) If she does not run away, I guarantee she will appreciate your candor, just as several women appreciated mine. And if you are willing to take direction from her and learn to please her the ways she likes...the sky is the limit.

[WhiteCane]

Sheep, so well put… I met my girlfriend at my sisters wedding… in a wheelchair, two hours before dialysis, blind as a bat, impotent….. character goes a long way… she’s a beautiful Vietnamese, PhD recipient, psychologist, graduated from an Ivy League school… she waited five years. My tongue and my fingers never let her leave the bedroom disappointed… My character did much more than that… She’s out there my man…

[Lost Sheep]

you guys can understand how much sexual dysfunction can ruin a man's life.

On my decades-long journey through declining potency I discovered how much E.D. can ruin a life AND how much a man can MAKE a good life great ... if he is willing to put energy into it.

If a man is not willing to put energy into it, even a magic dick will not help him enjoy the TRULY important things in life.

Thanks, for the recognition, Whitecane, and for sharing the inspirational wisdom of your story.

[Agfa13]

Yes, do not put all your eggs in one basket, women are just as different as men on the intelligent side of things. You will eventually find a woman who views you as you, and will be upfront with things if you are (just get that out of the way so neither one invests too much time).

On the lighter side of things:), just lie back, and when you find THAT woman that in more interested in the mindfuck side of things, go for pegging
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/n ... t-pegging/

As the saying goes, when one door closes, another one opens, and this does not just mean one particular 'door':)

[Toronto67]

Sheep, so well put… I met my girlfriend at my sisters wedding… in a wheelchair, two hours before dialysis, blind as a bat, impotent….. character goes a long way… she’s a beautiful Vietnamese, PhD recipient, psychologist, graduated from an Ivy League school… she waited five years. My tongue and my fingers never let her leave the bedroom disappointed… My character did much more than that… She’s out there my man…

Thank you for sharing, you are an inspiration.

[Toronto67]

I'm just done. it's been 15 years since I've had anyone but me touch my penis. no penetration, no blowjobs, no nothing. most of my 20's and almost all my 30's just wasted. I'm so far beyond depressed I just can't take it anymore. I got cursed with a small penis to begin with, then God decided it'd be funny to throw every penile affliction at me. hourglass peyronies, venous leak, scrotal webbing from an overzealous circumcision, life-long low testosterone... I'm just doomed.

no one is supposed to live without sex and love. I just can't take it anymore. I'm a good person with many positive attributes. I attract women left and right, but can't do anything about it. it's literal torture. I've been so depressed that I let my life fall apart. I wish I could get an implant, but there's no way I could afford it. hell, I can't make rent next month. didn't get to see my family for Christmas because I couldn't afford to travel.

not sure why I'm even writing this. maybe because you guys can understand how much sexual dysfunction can ruin a man's life. I'm not even a "man", just some pathetic creature.

well I truly hope you all enjoy your 6 and 7 inch + functioning penises. I'd give anything to be in your shoes. maybe next lifetime. I just hope this one ends soon.

Hi,

I can understand your depression and your feelings, it is true, life has not been kind with you on this area, however, life is much more than sex, a penis does not make a man, the aptitude and the character are a big part of being a man.

The reality is that many men in this forum have dealt with small penises, impotence, prostate cancer, urinary continence problems, and the list goes on and on, and most of them have found a solution or at least a work around their problems and they are enjoying life and their sex life.

The first thing I suggest is to look for professional help to deal with your depression. You also may take advantage of having a financial coach, this person may help you to sort out some of your financial challenges and hopefully make it to the point where you could start planning a treatment for the problems you are experiencing with your penis.

The good news is that you are young, time is in your side so try to get the help needed to get you back on track and enjoying life.

I wish you good luck!!

And remember we are always here to listen to you.

[Lost Sheep]

Hi,

I can understand your depression and your feelings, it is true, life has not been kind with you on this area, however, life is much more than sex, a penis does not make a man, the aptitude and the character are a big part of being a man.

The reality is that many men in this forum have dealt with small penises, impotence, prostate cancer, urinary continence problems, and the list goes on and on, and most of them have found a solution or at least a work around their problems and they are enjoying life and their sex life.

The first thing I suggest is to look for professional help to deal with your depression. You also may take advantage of having a financial coach, this person may help you to sort out some of your financial challenges and hopefully make it to the point where you could start planning a treatment for the problems you are experiencing with your penis.

The good news is that you are young, time is in your side so try to get the help needed to get you back on track and enjoying life.

I wish you good luck!!

And remember we are always here to listen to you.

Wow. Toronto67, your post is so much better than mine. You have constructive advice whereas mine was mostly just pep talk. Thanks for weighing in.

[Txagq8]

I doubt I can top some of the advise and encouragement from prior posters. Then again, topping them wasn’t the goal. Providing another perspective on your dilemma is my goal.

Sometimes taking a cue from history is worthwhile: Sir Winston Churchill was easily the most influential leader of my lifetime. He said, and I quote:

“The pessimist sees the problems in every opportunity. Whereas the optimist sees the opportunity in every problem"

"Never give in, never give in, never; never; never; never - in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense"

Truth be known you have issues, but truthfully you haven’t said or thought anything most every other man hasn’t thought on one occasion or another.

Your dick falls within the great expanse on the bell curve of what would be considered normal. Only 14% of men have 7” or more and only 3% have 8”. And that might be more of a curse than a blessing. Women do not always like their cervixes rammed into, don’t like having their airway blocked when giving head, and most prefer clitoral stimulation from the body to body contact possible with a guy who can go bells deep.

Nobody is perfect. High school was the worst time of my life. I might eat strychnine if I were forced to do it again. I started to blossom in college, but really hit my stride in my late 20s. I learned one valuable lesson. Take it as gospel from a grizzled old Army and oilfield cowboy.

If you don’t believe in you, nobody else will. You have to like the guy you are. Then other people will too. It’s infectious.

If you don’t like the guy you are. Modify the things you can. I thought I was a dorky looking geek type. I ditched the glasses for contacts, hit the gym, wore clothes that showed off my newly acquired muscles. It’s a shame people are shallow but there is benefit in packaging yourself nicely. Once I started looking good, I felt good about me. Once I felt good about me, getting dates and getting laid became routine.

By the time a woman is ready to sleep with you they’re not gonna care how big your pecker is. If it’s anywhere close to normal, as yours is, all is well. And if some girl complains that yours is too small suggest she rent her vagina out as a parking garage.

Bottom line is you only lose if you give up. I’ve been dealt some shitty hands in my life. Loss of career, kid with disabilities, abusive dad, etc. but you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and strive forward to see what happens next. Success is measured by forward progress from one failed effort to another, always with enthusiasm.

Hang in there and pm me if you ever need my version of a pep talk. I may be full of shit about half the time, but the other half is occasionally really sound advice.

Take care//txag

[gercoa]

Ya, don't give up as things change. I lived with ED through 3 marriages, first wife started sleeping around right from the beginning and I was "fine" with it because I couldn't give her what she "needed" That ended when 8 years in, she started to hide it from me. (weird I know). Second wife, had 3 kids together. Every-time I had to manually finish and put it in at last second... worked as I have 3 great kids but sex other than that was terrible. It got to the point I started to experiment with just about everything I could to give me a hard cock, Saline inflation, N20 inflation etc, I even through about about heading to Mexico and having my junk filled with Silicon several times... 2nd wife of also 8 years, ended like the 1st, her cheating on me. Which is strange because she basically hated sex. I knew her ex that had been with her for 8 years prior to me, and she even slept in a separate room the entire time...

3rd wife (Current) Comes from a totally different background. Cambodian, her first marriage was arranged as is their custom. She basically lived a life of servitude till he fucked things up. Now we are together, and it's amazing. For one thing, I look as us as a couple and should share all our duties 50/50. She had never seen a man was dishes. She didn't have much sex. In their culture sex was for procreation only basically. So, now doing for fun is something totally different and she loves it! She wan't it as much if not more than I do.

Due a lot to the culture difference, she really stands behind me. She has been there step by step through this whole process and being she is a nurse, she as literally been there for everything, many times helping with the procedures! She looks forward to the end results as much as I do and checks it everyday etc.

What I'm saying is, it took me 51 years to find this person. I suffered a LOT of heartache along the way and many time felt as you do. As to affording it, fortunately my insurance covered it. Get on insurance, and give it a go. Most plans do cover this. Else I know most doctors offer this at a GREAT discount for uninsured self pay. My doctor said the insurance company pays out 50K but the self pay fee is 12K and they do payments.

Stick with it man, life changes. Just be a good person and eventually good things WILL come your way. (And think about all the offerings from other countries. American women tend to be the worst.)

[Captain1117]

I agree ..in some cultures women are brought up to respect their husbands and as the end of the day..you dont want to compete with another "man" in the house who is hell bent on competing with you on everything.