My 12 days of Christmas have started

[Txagq8]

It’s a bit past 6 am, Dec 19th.

I have a report time to go get my LGX implanted of 6 AM on the 31st.

I’ve dealt with life, death, premature babies, multiple combat tours. Why is a simple medical procedure affecting me so?

My wife and I discussed doing this. The ED had made sex pretty much a train wreck over time even with shots and pills. She said, basically, git r done...so I’m cautiously optimistic. But I’m doing this for me and if it helps with wife great, if it does nothing except provide me an erection I use by myself I’m ok with that too. This is all about restoring me to something a lot closer to normal than I have ever been.

As a pubescent teen, when I taught myself the age old art of self abuse, I had no idea that erections didn’t get hard, then soften up 2 minutes later, then harden up again with continued stroking, then soft, then harden ad Infinitum until ejaculation. I quickly figured out that left hand clamped around base of dick (homemade do it yourself cock ring) helped keep things harder. To me, that was normal. I knew nothing else.

When I got sexually active in college, I was initially pretty quick and beyond excited to the point I never lasted too long, so the ED was never really noticeable. But it reared it’s ugly head once married, as I tried to slow things down and make sure my wife was having a good time. She would mention things she would like, but anything less than 100% violent constant stimulation resulted in a cock too soft to do anything with.

That’s going to change. In twelve days. Why am I worrying?

The first time I jumped out of a plane (in the Army) it was fear of the unknown. The second time I would call it fear of the known.

I’m scared. Shitless, actually. Not about the size deal. Well maybe a little but not really. And the infection risk and general anesthesia and overall recovery are worrisome but I historically do real well and heal quickly. I had an inguinal hernia done in 2014 and was back at work on a drilling rig. 3 days later. Not lifting, obviously, but back climbing stairs and telling folks what to do. Everybody said shoulder surgeries were bad but I tore both rotator cuffs and had them fixed. Kept me out of gym for 3 months is all. So why am I agonizing about this?

I’ll be ok. Just needed to vent a bit. Glad this place exists.

[notaes]

Hey man:

Just wanted to say hang in there man we are all behind you! I am scheduled for surgery also on Janauray 9th, 2020 and I too am scared shitless. I am thankful for al the guys that have gone before us to get this procedure perfected. With a good surgeon everything should go great. With all the research I have done I have not heard anyone say anything bad about getting an implant. Hang in there you will be fine and we are all here for you! I wish you the best.

[Cajun Jeff]

Tex I understand everything that you are saying here. I am scheduled for Jan 13 and just starting the the what the hell am I thinking. Excited, Nervous, so man emotions!

Will be glad when it is over and done.

[David_R]

Brothers, I'm so glad that FT is here for you to vent (it's a pretty amazing and quite unique site, isn't it?). You will not believe how great your sex/love life will be when you can get a hard dick anytime you want to. All the best in 2020, guys!

[Lunatech]

Guys just remember it takes time after the surgery to get to your new normal. I had serious buyers remorse right after I got cleared to pump. You can read about it on my post here on Frank Talk : Went from "What did I do" to " OH YEAH!!" .

The thought of surgery didn't really scare me too much as I was DONE with E.D. and wanted my love life back with my wife. It's back now and better than ever. I love to just pump up and walk around. I haven't been able to do that for a long time. Just remember : cycle, cycle, cycle (when you are cleared to) and everything will come back.

[oneperson]

Tx. I understand what you mean. A man can fight in a war and feel fear. But nothing compared to the feeling about going to an OR and have a surgery in his dick that doesn't have go back. It is something different to any other thing.

I have faced a liver trasplantation at 28. My life was in risk, before, during and after the surgery. I would lie if I tell I wasn't scared. But it is a different kind of fear.

The other kind is a kind of physical fear: death, pain, complications.. This is a more psycological fear: Will I be able to fuck again? Will be my manhood kept?

Is difficult to explain, but I think every one of us who has gone under the knife have felt and experimented. It is easier to say than do, but hey, it is not as hard. Time put things in the right place.

Here you will find support. I did my surgery before knowing this place, and spent my first 4 weeks alone. That was very very hard. But once I knew this forum, everything became a lot easier to bear.

Hold on, you are not alone.

[DaveKell]

At one of the last ED seminars I spoke at a big, intimidating guy came up to me at the end and said "I've been deployed to combat in 3 wars but would never be brave enough to do what I just watched you do". Nobody was shooting at me. I was already in a hospital setting where my "war injury" took place. I had already had 19 prior major surgeries over a number of years. For the last half a dozen of them I had zero anxiety going in because I was so familiar with what was gonna go down. I agonized during the week I awaited my implant surgery though, just because of what part of my body was involved. Turned out o be a walk in the park. I always tell guys at ED seminars I speak at that a few months before my implant surgery I had a rear molar removed by an oral surgeon. I tell them that I'd take an implant surgery over that tooth extraction any day of the week! You're gonna be just fine!

[stephen54]

It’s a bit past 6 am, Dec 19th.

I have a report time to go get my LGX implanted of 6 AM on the 31st.

I’ve dealt with life, death, premature babies, multiple combat tours. Why is a simple medical procedure affecting me so?

My wife and I discussed doing this. The ED had made sex pretty much a train wreck over time even with shots and pills. She said, basically, git r done...so I’m cautiously optimistic. But I’m doing this for me and if it helps with wife great, if it does nothing except provide me an erection I use by myself I’m ok with that too. This is all about restoring me to something a lot closer to normal than I have ever been.

As a pubescent teen, when I taught myself the age old art of self abuse, I had no idea that erections didn’t get hard, then soften up 2 minutes later, then harden up again with continued stroking, then soft, then harden ad Infinitum until ejaculation. I quickly figured out that left hand clamped around base of dick (homemade do it yourself cock ring) helped keep things harder. To me, that was normal. I knew nothing else.

When I got sexually active in college, I was initially pretty quick and beyond excited to the point I never lasted too long, so the ED was never really noticeable. But it reared it’s ugly head once married, as I tried to slow things down and make sure my wife was having a good time. She would mention things she would like, but anything less than 100% violent constant stimulation resulted in a cock too soft to do anything with.

That’s going to change. In twelve days. Why am I worrying?

The first time I jumped out of a plane (in the Army) it was fear of the unknown. The second time I would call it fear of the known.

I’m scared. Shitless, actually. Not about the size deal. Well maybe a little but not really. And the infection risk and general anesthesia and overall recovery are worrisome but I historically do real well and heal quickly. I had an inguinal hernia done in 2014 and was back at work on a drilling rig. 3 days later. Not lifting, obviously, but back climbing stairs and telling folks what to do. Everybody said shoulder surgeries were bad but I tore both rotator cuffs and had them fixed. Kept me out of gym for 3 months is all. So why am I agonizing about this?

I’ll be ok. Just needed to vent a bit. Glad this place exists.

You absolutely will be ok. I have no doubt.

I am a little over 4 weeks post-op Titan implant. We're all different, and yet I think there are some things which unify us here. I can honestly say, I didn't waver or wobble on putting on the gown and being pushed into the OR to do this. I would have been rattled if this was an acute situation requiring immediate surgery, but of course it wasn't; this ED shit has been with me for a fucking generation. 20 years.

So when they offered pills and they said, "here are the side effects" I gladly took the pills and had, for a time, some success. Then when pills' effectiveness diminished I approached the injections with curiosity and a really open stance - like...ok, this is new, what do I have to lose? For me...for us...the "what do I have to lose?" thing was not rhetorical, it was very real. I had, for sure, my own deeply held impressions of my own male-ness and my own sexuality, which of course was shaken first by recognizing I even had ED, then shaken further when pills started to weaken in effect, then shaken again in some ways by the lack of spontaneity and lack of convenience and the logistics and ultimately the pain and discomfort and failing effectiveness of injections. But I also found myself in a highly sexual relationship which had been supported, quite amazingly and for a lot of years, by modern chemistry. So I guess I just connected the dots in my mind and embraced technology, maybe more than some. I sort of looked at it like, hey I got a little solid run from pills, then I got a really nice 9 year run from Trimix, which allowed me to do things at a level I would never...ever...have remotely imagined. So by the time injections faltered, I had in my mind been long preparing for the next logical step - implant - for 2 years or so. Not a surprise to me and not even particularly alarming or odd. Just the next step.

So I never had the scared shitless thing but - I get you - we are, after all, talking about our dicks here. The thing we protect and the thing that amazes us and the thing that, when it wobbles and doesn't work quite right, goes right straight through the core of what most of us identify with being a guy. Our dick...whether the physical...or whether we're talking about the emotional parts of what a dick means..can mean to us...can mean to our relationships. Kind of an intensely deeply held serious thing. It is for me. And I wanted mine to work so I didn't have room for the fear, I guess. But I also had a surgeon with a hell of a reputation and ridiculous confidence in what he could deliver to me via implant. No small thing I think - the right doc with the right track record and the right confidence.

Being scared doesn't serve you, you know? It serves nothing. It only serves to dilute and misdirect your finite energies away from the positive changes you are on the brink of embracing. Embrace them, man. I'm a guy on week 4+ struggling to figure out my deflate valve, so what the hell do I know? But I am super aware of how to inflate this thing and...yeah...the sizing is different...and yeah, most of that will probably come back over time...and yeah I don't care much because I'm about to be able to do things with my dick that I have not been able to do in decades and that the young guys cannot even duplicate. The math works for me. I bet it's going to work for you, too, and I know this entire FT group is pulling for you and here to support you all along the way.

If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is absolutely no need to worry. If it's not fixable, then there is likewise no help in worrying. In the end, there is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.

Dalai Lama

(just sayin')

[oneperson]

Yes Dave, I think that once you live the experience of the implant, most things you lived before show much more serious and disgusting. I, for example, took an hemorroid surgery 11 years ago. By far, the post surgical 6 weeks were in a much much more terrible pain. Compared to the moments I had to go to the bathroom the first time after surgery, the whole post surgeon, every at the same time added, was, by far, much easier than throw that shit out of my body. Not to talk the rest 6 weeks. 12 years ago, I suffered an herpes zoster infection. I cried in pain for 1 week. Strongest analgesics, were only able to soften the pain, they weren't able to make it dissapear. I have lived several 'hells' in my life. And nothing compared to the fear to go to the implant. However, once you pass it, you realize that is not that bad.

But I am sure that bravest man in the world becomes a coward when his dick is under a knife!!

[Txagq8]

I’m a Texas Aggie class of ‘78 and have spent my adult life in the oilfield or Army. I’m fond of saying there are no stupid questions, just stupid people. So forgive me in advance if what I’m about to say is really, really stupid.

I think what I’m feeling is performance anxiety.

I’ve had ED so damned long and so little has been expected of me sexually that now that I have finally gotten to the point where an implant is going to basically make me whole, I’m worried that I won’t be able to please my wife.

I know historically that I’m real good at not pleasing. But with a dick that leaks blood out faster than the arteries can pump it in you have a pretty good excuse. But once I’m properly equipped, how will I do? It’s almost like the mixed feelings before your first time. Your dying to do the deed but wonder how well you will do it. Will your performance be adequate?

My mind right now is like a bunch of caged rats. But this much is certain: I’m not afraid of the surgery. I’ll walk in, get it done, and see what happens. Yes I’ll try to be patient afterwards although that’s not my strong suit.

To Cajun Jeff: hated the LSU-A&M game. But real proud of your QB and his Heisman and hoping your guys go all the way. I’m married to a Louisiana woman so obviously nothing really scares me.

P