I am really scared
Posted: Sat Aug 17, 2019 9:15 pm
So, this is my story. I am 30 years old, never had a girlfriend, virgin. In my youth I realized I had a ventral curvature in my penis, which turned out to be congenital after urologic examination. Last three years I have noticed a really high decrease in libido, and this has been accompanied by the inability to get an erection while masturbating. I know there's something seriously wrong with me, I never have spontaneous erections, never wake up with morning wood. By my own, I decided to try sildenafil (50 mg) but it didn't make any difference while playing solo. I then decided to try one injection, which again didn't make any difference whatsoever. I know I shouldn't have self medicated but all of it was just a confirmation to myself there's something extremely wrong going on.
Since then, I have started developing pain in my testicles, it might be epydidimitis from what I can read. The thing is, I don't have the courage to setup an appointment with a specialist because I am afraid of confirming my suspicions. In my mind I kinda know my only alternative is an implant. I don't have the courage to deal with all this.
I am extremely depressed, in part because of this, in part because of my extremely loneliness. I have not been alone this long by choice you know? I crave for human contact and attention of the opposite sex as any other guy. But I am ugly and no matter how hard I have tried I have never been good enough for anyone. So now I just look at my future without hope. Even if I went to an specialist, confirmed my suspicions and got an implant, that would become another obstacle in my road. I mean, I can't even get a girl to like me even when they think I am sexually healthy, how could I explain it?
Then there is the fact that I am from a third world country and I would be at the hands of a local urologist who at the most does no more than a dozen of implants per year. No Kramer, no Eid for me. I have around 17000 dollars saved, and it would take me at least another 3 years to go to one of those guys. And I am talking about all my freakin savings...it just doesn't seem possible. I just don't know what to do, I feel lost forever.
Since then, I have started developing pain in my testicles, it might be epydidimitis from what I can read. The thing is, I don't have the courage to setup an appointment with a specialist because I am afraid of confirming my suspicions. In my mind I kinda know my only alternative is an implant. I don't have the courage to deal with all this.
I am extremely depressed, in part because of this, in part because of my extremely loneliness. I have not been alone this long by choice you know? I crave for human contact and attention of the opposite sex as any other guy. But I am ugly and no matter how hard I have tried I have never been good enough for anyone. So now I just look at my future without hope. Even if I went to an specialist, confirmed my suspicions and got an implant, that would become another obstacle in my road. I mean, I can't even get a girl to like me even when they think I am sexually healthy, how could I explain it?
Then there is the fact that I am from a third world country and I would be at the hands of a local urologist who at the most does no more than a dozen of implants per year. No Kramer, no Eid for me. I have around 17000 dollars saved, and it would take me at least another 3 years to go to one of those guys. And I am talking about all my freakin savings...it just doesn't seem possible. I just don't know what to do, I feel lost forever.