Who around you knows about your Implant or ED?

[softtohard]

Maybe this is more on the mental subject but it is still about who knows about your implant.

I have about 5 close friends that have known all about my ED since many years going back.
3 of their spouses did also knew about my ED before I got my implant and I did talk to them (the spouses) face to face sometimes about it.

My Mum, Dad and sister + my sisters husband knows too.

Now when I´m implanted all the people that knows about my ED
issues knows that I went thru with my implant surgery.

Now when implanted I met up with a not so close but still a good friend and his friend that I have met only one time before. We met up for a boys night, watching Formula one, having snacks and drinks.
Because we usually have wine and beer I had to tell them that I´m on antibiotcis and they could clearly see that I was in pain (just 10 days post op).

They asked my what kind of surgery I've had.
I felt...what the heck...I´ll tell them straight up whats going on.
I told them just that I have been struggeling for sooo many years with sex and that I went thru with the implant surgery. Their response was...wow yeah we really understand the pain of struggeling for so long and WOW that is so cool with your implant, must be so nice to be able to have sex with no limits!

They served me the whole night, picking up a fork from the floor that I dropped, served me alcohole free drinks and filled up my snackbowl and so on. They did everything for me so I could sit as still as possible in the sofa during the evening. (we were watching F1, kind of a boys night)

First I could really tell that they personally know about the feeling of having trouble in bed
(for them maybe ocassionally as we all do)..I could see it in their faces and reactions.
The friends that have known about my ED for a long time, they are so curious about how everything works with the Implant and my recovery etc.

Over all....when I tell people about this, the only thing I get is LOVE and UNDERSTANDING and support!
I would of course not tell EVERYBODY around me about this. My mother in law and my old boss will never know about this for example
But the people around me that I´m comfortable around and that I thrust, they will know and do already know everything.

How do you go abut this?
Who knows about your Implants and struggles?
Are you feeling ashamed about your implant or almost proud?

//Softtohard

[tomas1]

Just about everyone I know knows I've had it done.
I think it's just easier to let it out there.

My former son-in-law mentioned that I had it and his daughter told him.
If any of them have a problem with it, it's their problem.
My wife seems to enjoy it and is even getting natural moisture.

Amazing, not one other guy In know suffers from ED.
I do know some guys who claim they and their wives have lost interest in it.

I guess it's hard for some guys to open up about ED.

[softtohard]

Just about everyone I know knows I've had it done.
I think it's just easier to let it out there.

My former son-in-law mentioned that I had it and his daughter told him.
If any of them have a problem with it, it's their problem.
My wife seems to enjoy it and is even getting natural moisture.

Amazing, not one other guy In know suffers from ED.
I do know some guys who claim they and their wives have lost interest in it.

I guess it's hard for some guys to open up about ED.

2 friends suffer to the degree that they have to use pills some times.
1 Friends had a period with issues but seems to have bounced back.

I feel like letting people know it the best way.
Takes a lot of pressure off.
And if they know about my implant, they can come to me down the line
if they really struggle. I can help them with support about implants if they need.

Thanks for sharing

[Cancer2x]

My wife only knows about my total, "profound" ED from surgery for Prostate Cancer in 1996. She couldn't deal. Hasn't touched me in 23 years. Now I'm actually considering getting an implant - just for myself. I guess now people here also know.

[Lost Sheep]

My wife only knows about my total, "profound" ED from surgery for Prostate Cancer in 1996. She couldn't deal. Hasn't touched me in 23 years. Now I'm actually considering getting an implant - just for myself. I guess now people here also know.

"She couldn't deal" leaves a lot unsaid. She may be silent on the subject out of care for your feelings, but would love renewing a sexual relationship. Maybe she never liked sex and would prefer you did not (did not like sex either or would not get an implant).

A life partner (in the prototypical "perfect" relationship) should be the one person in the world with whom you can talk about more subjects than anyone else. Usually, such communication strengthens a marriage.

Only you know how much bandwidth your marriage deserves or can tolerate. Please consider opening up to her. She may surprise you. Pleasantly.

[DaveKell]

Well tonight an auditorium with over 100 people signed up so far will know about my implant. Several times a year I speak at ED seminars with a urologist about all the treatments available. The seminars end with my talk about all the therapies I tried and exhausted before ending up with the implant. I have no hesitation to discuss it with anyone and almost everyone in my extended family knows about me. My wife asked me when I was contracted to do the seminars how I would explain to out 3 adult kids where we were going. I said I'd tell all of them because we had first told them the implant surgery was a minor hernia repair. Surprisingly my oldest son said it was nice to know about the option in case his intermittent problem got worse. Our daughter thought I was joking. Our two sons said they now knew the reason why their mom and dad seemed so much happier lately.

I see it as being on the same level as being prescribed eyeglasses for vision problems. Nobody is backwards about that. I don't understand single guys putting added pressure on themselves with worrying about it being discovered. I've even voiced a willingness to go on any medical themed television show and be interviewed about it or do a tv commercial for the manufacturer. I'm proud to be the face of a successful, happily implanted guy who formerly had ED.

[Lost Sheep]

Who one decides to tell (or let discover) is a delicate decision for some. A matter-of-fact for others. I wonder what factors go into anyone's decision? Did anyone tell because of pride? The prospect of a sexual encounter (see the thread on "tee-shirts", essentially advertising one's implant, e.g. "Powered by Tupperware" or sporting the AMS Logo)? Motivated by the simple intimacy of a relationship (family member, sibling, close friend, spouse). Less noble motivations like schadenfreude or "ha-ha, I told you so" (that last appropriate for an ex-spouse).

Here is my list and hints as to why.

One co-worker who I told about my operation after she told me about her eye operation. She is a kind, understanding person. She has been a sounding board about dating and commiserating about her aging parents and mine.

An ex-co-worker who worked closely with me and I became friends with her and her husband (he died before I got the implant). Also a good adviser.

My medical team. I mention this because it was a long time before I was comfortable enough to reveal my E.D. and ask about the oral medications, viagra, etc.

My Brother.

Anyone who reads my profile on Plenty of Fish ("Lost0Sheep"). It is still there as an offer of advice for men or women there, but not inviting a relationship other than that.

A handful of women I met while preparing for the implant and two women post-implant. I posted on Craigslist and P.o.F. asking for a "lab partner" to help with before-and-after experiences.

A few other medical professionals. Forms asking about prior operations sort of require disclosure.

I am not disclosing the existence of my implant to an attractive female for the potential of a sexual or romantic relationship. I promised fidelity to my current lover. But, if single, I would consider that. (See the teeshirt thread I mentioned before).

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=12167

Esssentially, that might disclose to EVERYBODY!

[Bailey]

Great Question! Only my wife, who was supportive. All my family & friends were told I had a hernia operation. May tell my son down the road. Of course all on Franktalk know. LOL

[newbie443]

My sons both know but are uncomfortable talking about it. My brother and I have talked about it in length. As have I with my mother. My sister knows but we have not talked about it. Two close friend I have out of state know but really are uncomfortable talking about it. I tell my girl friends about it as I explain I want sex to be a part of my life.

As far as how I told them it was with my family when I was getting ready for the surgery and I just told them I was going to have it. I have other friends locally that I did not tell and they have not asked. If they do I will tell them in the proper setting. Somewhere with out children in a private conversation or phone call. I would talk to anyone who wants to know about and have done so with other members on this site by PM and phone.

I am not ashamed or proud of my implant. It is not something I advertise or bring up in conversation with others. I will talk with anyone who wants to about. I will not hide it if asked or if it comes up in conversation. It is an adult topic that should be discussed in an appropriate setting though.

[tomas1]

My daughter's new husband's father had an implant years ago and I mentioned to him my plan to get implanted. At the same time he was needing spinal fusion surgery on his neck. I told him it wasn't confidential. That made it easier for everyone IMO.

I mentioned a world renown surgeon who used to practice at Barrows Neurological Institute here in Phoenix.
I checked and he had taken a job at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore.

I told him I'd love to see Dr Kramer also in Baltimore.
We joked about making it a family trip to get our operations.

Obviously, we didn't do it and both of us had successful surgeries.
Mine was a lot easier than his as he has to refrain from golf for 6 months.