Possible implant

[Oldfart1]

First time here. Not tech savvy, so here goes. I'm 67 years old and have had ED for many years. My bride and I have not been intimate in 20 years or so due, I think, to her extreme disappointment with my not being able to fulfill her needs. 48 years of marriage was going downhill. Too important not to fight for it, so I began talking to a lady friend, who I'm NOT intimate with, but knows us well. With her guidance, my wife and I have been able to reconstruct the past and I am looking with edgy hope for the future. We are considering an IPP implant. I've tried pills. No help. We both agreed that injections were not what either of us wanted, so here we are. My research says an implant is the correct avenue. I'm terrified that after we do this that she will still not be ready. And yes, I am using the term "we" because it's a joint effort.
Then what? I still want it as much as ever. Hoping she will feel similarly. She understands, finally, this is a real medical issue and not just an obsession for me. Any others had this concern?

[Bailey]

Oldfart1, I could have written this almost the same as you have, but I have only been married to my bride for 22 years. I’m also 10 years older than you. Have struggled with ED for 20 years. The only method that worked for me was injections. I finally decided I’m not going to continue sticking myself. I have researched & thought about making the decision for an implant for several years now. After going to 2 urologist for consultations with my wife, I made the decision to go through with a implant. The surgeon I chose implants both the AMS, & the Coloplast. I then researched the 2 manufacturers by internet & actually talked to the representatives of both. For me personally I decided on the AMS 700 LGX. It’s a big decision, & I’m nervous, but excited at the same time to have the intimacy with the love of my life again. Hope my story helps, & if you want to talk to me after my surgery tomorrow just send me a pm. Good luck with your decision. Bailey

[Oldfart1]

Thanks Bailey. I'll be around.

[Lost Sheep]

Absolutely the same situation for me except I have not had a steady girlfriend or wife.

The decision process (after pills lost effectiveness) resulted in me considering V.E.D., urethral suppositories, injections and anything else medical science had in its toolbag. Implant was the right decision for me, after much consideration.

So, I proceeded. No doubts, no looking back.

If your wife still enjoys physical intimacy with you, there is no reason she will not continue to do so. Have faith in her faith in you. She has stuck with you during the years of E.D. That testifies MIGHTILY for her desire for your continued presence in her life.

[Oldfart1]

Thanks Lost. I appreciate your input. I see my local Uro on 6-19. Moving forward after. So far, we are on the same page. She's cautious about my having surgery. I have no illusions about daily sexual interaction, but we are cuddling again, which is a plus. She has medical issues that I need to be mindful of as well. Just want us to be whole again. Thanks again. You guys have calmed a few fears.

[Gt1956]

I'm terrified that after we do this that she will still not be ready. And yes, I am using the term "we" because it's a joint effort.

Allow me to point out that for most female difficulties there are several medical treatments. Just as male erectile problems have multiple treatment options. I would go so far to say that it is unlikely for a woman that wants to engage in intercourse to not be able to physically accommodate that desire with the correct treatment.
She has given you a chance to "recover". If she doesn't think she'll be successful, spend some honest quality time with her doctor. It will be time very well spent. Good luck.

[Oldfart1]

Thanks

[Lost Sheep]

Thanks Lost. I appreciate your input. I see my local Uro on 6-19. Moving forward after. So far, we are on the same page. She's cautious about my having surgery. I have no illusions about daily sexual interaction, but we are cuddling again, which is a plus. She has medical issues that I need to be mindful of as well. Just want us to be whole again. Thanks again. You guys have calmed a few fears.

While I was unable to have coitus, I was still able (sometimes even better able) to make love to my significant other by "other means" (all the way to orgasms). Do you two engage in any sort of physicality? If "yes", then that bodes well for future sexual activities. Even if your wife needs some help from medical science, it is likely (as GT1956 points out) to be a lot easier and less expensive than an implant. Though insurance may not cover treatments for female sexual dysfunction, they do cover a lot. And the treatments are less expensive and invasive.

[Oldfart1]

Thanks for your insight. Yes we have explored other avenues, but to expand on that, would, for us, be inappropriate. Suffice it to say we have had very little interaction in a long time. She has a medical issue that we are actively engaged in solving as best we can. I love my wife. We were both virgins and had remained faithful to each other for 48 years, so my experience is limited to her alone. For those who find that strange, I'm OK with it. Everybody has to be somewhere. Mostly, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to have that old flame rekindled. And no, I am not a Preacher. I just love my bride. Thanks again to all who have replied.

[postra7777]

I'm going to jump in here. My wife had a huge issue with my ED. She hated the fact that I needed to inject myself every time we had sex. It really put a strain on our relationship. She also was not too keen on the idea of me getting an implant. She thought I should just be an erection because I was excited. She didn't and still does not understand the medical nature of ED. (bear in mind she is 12 years younger than I am). Our marriage was about to end within a couple of months. Anyway, I got the implant with limited support from her. Having said that I truly believed that our relationship was over and I would need to pursue another someday. So I was getting the implant with our without her. I now have to say that getting the implant has saved our marriage. Sex is fantastic not only because we can have it at a moments notice but my confidence in the bedroom is off the charts. Before I was afraid to change positions because I would lose my erection. Now we are all over the bedroom. Having said all that. Get the implant because you want to. Trust me you will thank God that you did it. If your wife comes along the that's a bonus. I will say that my wife didn't like to have sex after I got the implant because she still had issues that I needed help to get an erection and that she wasn't the one that caused my erection. So I was the one who was unhappy with her and her lack of sex drive. Once she used to the fact that I needed a minute to get a rock hard erection the sex got better and better. Everyone has their own reason to get the surgery but yours sounds like a lot of guys on here. Keep reading and asking questions. I thank the stars for Franktalk. This site has literally saved my marriage and probably my life.