My Connection With Sex

[justthetip]

Hello friends,

I am new to the group but just wanted to say how amazing a resource this is. Thank you to all contributors.

My condition is such that I have made the decision to get an implant.

I am worried about my connection to sex however. I am not sure whether it is because of the constant stress and anxiety, all the pain that has come with this and of course the negative, preoccupying emotions that I go through every time I attempt sex, but I am wanting it less and less. And when I am doing something sexual, I am not in the moment. I am always thinking. Thinking thinking thinking. About it, about the act, about how hard I am (or not), about how much time I have, about cumming - will I cum, how close am I, how long until I start to feel it etc etc.

It's a mental plight for sure.

I am wondering if any of the more experienced among you can share with me how having the implant resolved this - if indeed it did help it or whether your connection with sex has been permanently affected (in a negative way) despite the ultimate intervention.

Thank you, everyone!

[Lost Sheep]

It took time to get comfortable and have confidence in my ability to use my implanted penis. But after a few successful (among no failures to perform) I am comfortable initiating sex, desiring sex, able to be "in the moment" and able to relax and enjoy my partner's joy as well as my own. Truly, my implant has been a gift.

Having said that, we know very little of your history and I am always concerned that a candidate for implantation has not explored all the less invasive solutions. Implantation is irreversible and forever destroys what erectile ability you have (almost guaranteed 100%). There is risk and expense. Less invasive solutions are available and prudence dictates these should be investigated and, if warranted, tried.

Please share your history with us. Help us help you.

Thanks for asking our advice and welcome to the forum.

[Gt1956]

I agree with Lost Sheep. Plus your age is important in order to understand your back ground.
I'm going to suggest that you're describing anxiety brought on from repeated bad experiences. Like most bad experiences, you need to break that cycle for the anxiety to subside.
As Lost Sheep accurately points out. An implant is permanent. After the sugery, none of the less invasive procedures will work. It's not like taking off a shirt that you don't like.
Feel free to keep posting.

[Lost Sheep]

An implant is permanent. After the sugery, none of the less invasive procedures will work. It's not like taking off a shirt that you don't like.
Feel free to keep posting.

Correction: An implant is not permanent.

They have a service life and can be counted on to fail eventually. What is permanent is the (necessary) damage done to the erectile function of the penis during the implant surgery.

The good news is that an implant is replaceable (called a "revision") with a new one when the original one fails. And that surgery is often less painful and recovery quicker than the virgin implant.

[SW0110]

For me it was about losing the connection with sex. Until I fell sex was never an issue. Whenever, wherever, and for as long as we wanted. I always enjoyed just being hard and engaged in various activities. Probably about half the time I never came. For me it was never about that as a focus. My viewpoint was that should be my partners focus.

My problems started when I no longer got hard enough for penetration. Pills did not really help so much. Then the mental began. Will I get hard enough. Can I even get it in. How long before it just totally goes down and slips out. It was not hard enough at all for my wife to finish period with me inside. Totally had to rely on oral for her to orgasm and she likes hard penis.

Needless to say sex for past almost 3 years was not worth doing for either of us.

Now I am hard as ever. Stay that way as long as I want. Penetrate a while, oral for a while, caress a while. But hard the whole time. Just like my old self. Some people say there is a big difference with an implant. Not real sure about that. I am at almost 8 weeks implanted and at my 6.25 pre surgery stretch length. Girth is a bit less though at just over 5. My best was right at 7 long, but peyronies took some length.. Not sure my wife actually could even tell I am shorter. She is more about pressure on her pubic bone and clit. The titan is rock hard and gives plenty of pressure where she needs it. My glans still gets big as ever and I can still expand it with the kegels which she likes.

She said harder the better and just like old times. She had no problem finishing a few times. Our first time was about an hour with the titan. I finished after about 45 minutes and kept on for another 20 or so to get her another one in. Then finished again. Unreal. No refractory period all. Just keep stroking and finished twice.

Very satisfying for both of us. I also had no issue with my orgasms at all. Some people say it felt better, some worse, mine felt the same.

Oh, since that first time it is just better. I worried about my ability to shoot out and if it would be affected with all the tubes in the scrotum. She likes me to pull out and spray all over her chest sometimes. No problem with that either. Strong enough to get from crotch to neck easily.

All in all sex is as enjoyable as ever for us. The only thing we have not done is her riding me or straddling my lap in a car or on couch. Titan pumped up is still pretty pointed at about 1 o clock or so and am not able to comfortably bend it down for doggy. Supposed to get more bendy with time.
So still both of us flat together whether she is on top or me on top to her front or back.

So to comment. Our connection with sex, is definitely back. Still feels pretty much the same as it did before the titan. Just now no mental games to deal with. Horny, want sex. No problem.

[justthetip]

Thank you so much for your replies everyone.

For some history, my ED has not been explained medically.

I’ve had several dopplers, all saying I had no veno occlusive dysfunction. I don’t have any Peyronie’s, I’ve basically been told that it’s all in my head, but ED is ED and this has been going on for over 15 years.

Psychologists and even a psychiatrist have not been able to help. I am too in my head over this. And I just know that my penis does not have the staying power of a ‘normal man’s’ penis (at least when I’m awake).

Pills were always a sure hit. But now, even though they still work somewhat, I’m all in my head.

The will it, won’t it, how long, position-dependency is stopping me from letting go and enjoying sex.

ED is consuming my thoughts and stopping me from approaching women.

ED is ruining my relationship with sex and intimacy.

I’m 38 now and I’m not married as yet and I do want that for myself.

Sometimes you just have to weigh it all up very carefully and be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause.

I believe that an implant can set me free; relieve the mental plight, give my brain the assurance of a hard, never failing penis and restore my confidence in myself and my connection with sex AND most importantly of all, allow me to live a normal life.

Because this ED-ridden life is not healthy at all and is not a life at all.

This is the nuclear bomb option to end a long-standing battle that has no end in sight.

And life is so short.

[Lost Sheep]

Sometimes you just have to weigh it all up very carefully and be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause.

I believe that an implant can set me free; relieve the mental plight, give my brain the assurance of a hard, never failing penis and restore my confidence in myself and my connection with sex AND most importantly of all, allow me to live a normal life.

Because this ED-ridden life is not healthy at all and is not a life at all.

This is the nuclear bomb option to end a long-standing battle that has no end in sight.

And life is so short.

justthetip,

I think you have the soul of a poet. Keep writing. Keep a journal. Refine your prose. Not just for yourself, but women love a man who can express himself.

The reason I say that is your lines,

ED is consuming my thoughts and stopping me from approaching women.

ED is ruining my relationship with sex and intimacy.

Do not let E.D. or even complete impotency stop you from approaching women.

I put an ad on a dating site, laying out that I had no sexual function and asked for a "lab partner" to accompany me on my journey to full function. I met several terrific, supportive, caring (and willing) women.

My best to you.

[justthetip]

I guess what I’m trying to say is and what my main concern now is, that I feel as though my libido has been absolutely diminished; that I don’t want sex that much anymore - I guess through fear, through repeated bad experiences, through the negativity attached to my situation. I’m worried that this is a now-permanent state and that I may not be able to resurrect my libido, implant or not.

Has anyone else felt this way and did the implant combat all of that negative feeling and ultimately help you to feel like a man with full desire again?

Thank you!

[DougAnd]

[quote="justthetip"]Hello friends,


I am worried about my connection to sex however. I am not sure whether it is because of the constant stress and anxiety, all the pain that has come with this and of course the negative, preoccupying emotions that I go through every time I attempt sex, but I am wanting it less and less. And when I am doing something sexual, I am not in the moment. I am always thinking. Thinking thinking thinking. About it, about the act, about how hard I am (or not), about how much time I have, about cumming - will I cum, how close am I, how long until I start to feel it etc etc

Thank you, everyone![/quote
Just,
Sometimes I sit pumped up (not fully just enough) For hours in awe that I can stay hard that long no effort at all. My implant is the Best mental medicine made by man. When you can get hard and stay hard everything else falls into place.