Apologizing

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.

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handfulWES
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Apologizing

Postby handfulWES » Sun Feb 10, 2019 10:04 pm

I feel I may have over posted, overstepped, wore out my welcome in the category on Implants. My heart I assure is in the right place. If my thoughts and writing came across as harsh, I am very sorry. YOU JUST can't know the seriousness that I take with ED issues.

I am just an old fart who has been around the block so many times, suffered any number of things in my life, I often wonder why God left me here. When I had my first working implant, thought it wasn't perfect but the best available at the time. I actually believe that some of you haven't really noticed the dates and times that this started. I read post that scare the hell out of me about things guys are doing that I know are a no, no. I read post that breaks my heart and I have lived the same pain they feel.

I know what is like to be thrown to the curb and even laughed at because you have an implant. I know what is like not to have someone lying next to you in bed night after night for more years than I would like to even count. I know what it is like to go to the gym or the Y and be in a locker room with something that doesn't exactly look totally natural. I know the hurt when you meet someone and you are in bed and they learn you have an implant and slam the door by saying that thing isn't going in me. I know about sitting in the car crying because after your surgery you lost part of your manhood. I traveled a road totally by myself fighting a battle that didn't seem possible to win. At 19 1/2 you see a doctor who took an oath to heal and not harm their patient and look at you and say, "Son it's all in your head". and usurers out the door telling you that you need to see a shrink. I know the battle of one doctor after another telling me the same thing. Some offered some help, injections that lasted for 9 hours, pumps and rings and then there were no LITTLE BLUE PILLS. One mentioned an implant, but I was just to young for that, sorry you will need to be at least 60 and I am 40 years old.

Sex was such a struggle and I can't image how I managed to have 2 children but I did. To have a wife leave because you did have the implant and it doesn't feel real when I did it for her. YES, life sucked.

I continued to search and one day I found a doctor, in a tiny little town in the hills of the Blue Ridge Mountains with a small private practice with a very small community hospital to work in, who had no appointments to see me except to share his lunch with him. He accepted my insurance, I liked him, he was a bit cocky but funny and the first doctor who offered me any ray of hope, we are now in 1991, remember my journey started in 1969. He said sure I will do an Implant for you. He had his receptionist contact my insurance and they gave her the terms of my policy. His office looked like the 3rd world war where a bomb had exploded but he put his hands on what my insurance would pay for. I held it, he showed me how it worked, had me play with it. This man was kind, compassionate and caring. Like Gershwin's song "Rhythm - 'Who Could Ask For Anything More'". This man on the third try because of AMS gave me something I could only dream about. I could not only have sex I could make love. Finding the right individual was a different story.

I have just about decided I will not post in this category because I fear I may have overstepped my boundaries.

SO I APOLOGIZE for my short comings. I guess I may be far to serious over a subject that is so dear and so close to my heart, and believe it or not, I have an extremely large heart. If interested the why on my heart PM me. I am so desperate to try and teach so much as for some of us, our time is very limited. I will continue to work on my thesis "Your Prostate" because my goal is to try and save a man or men from the doctors knife or radiation cooking the most precious thing they own. I can do that.

This is my prayer for you guys: Please be careful what you do with your implants. When my last doctor saw my history and after my surgery told me I had taken excellent care not erode, tear tissue, abuse the extenders that go up inside this many years, he said way to go and heee ha. He was a cowboy and a hot stud to boot. Sorry I had to put that in there. I have post all over in FT. I thought when I found FT I would have a way to share and impart knowledge and experience gained over 50 years. Damn that is a long time.

I will say good night. You may add to this post, or PM me. I have so many phone calls from so many. I take enough meds each day to float the "Queen Mary". (no I will not give the number) I would take a call in the middle of the night if I could help someone. I did talk with someone on Saturday from FT, this individual was questioning me and I picked up by the second question he was also medical. This MAN said just reading in my post told him how much I care. He said you sometimes you lay on thick but he said often THICK IS WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. I felt good after that.

TWO NOTES: 1st - I do all my own keyboarding. I don't talk into a mic and a program types for me. Call me old fashion, by typing I feel it is more personal. Do my fingers get tired, I am not sure but it keeps them moving. It is great therapy as I also play the piano and organ - OK guys the organ that sits in church - although I know how to play the other as well.
2nd - Remember to impart your knowledge with a struggling brother. You may be hurting but your brother could be hurting more. There is a story in Matthew about "when you have done it unto the least of these my brethren you have done unto Me". I hear it now, we don't need religion - I was only sharing something that has truth to.

Thank you guys
WES
68, single, have had an implant since I was 42. Goals: to help men with ED; help men over come years of failure; to know their bodies; have a richer fuller sex life whether they or straight, Bi or gay. last I traveled this road starting in the late 60's

DougAnd
Posts: 1044
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2018 5:10 pm
Location: Melbourne, Florida

Re: Apologizing

Postby DougAnd » Tue Feb 12, 2019 6:57 pm

, no offense taken Wes that's what franktalk is all about franktalk
LGX 18cm+3cmRTE 8 / 8/18 by Docs Saracino , Prody of FL Disfigured by Implant. Married 31 years, Functionally impotent 2+ years. 7" inflated. Pump moved 12/4/18 by Dr Kata Hopefully fixed by Dr Kramer 6/19/19


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