Rock Bottom

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.

Moderator: DaveKell

defiant
Posts: 337
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2016 9:35 am

Rock Bottom

Postby defiant » Sun Feb 03, 2019 9:06 am

This is certainly as bad as things have ever been for me.

At the age of 35, I find myself single, with zero confidence to even approach women let alone consider the idea of a long-term relationship. My relationship with sex, arousal and women is absolutely dire and I can't fathom ever crawling out of this situation with pills only. Pills have indeed begun to fail me consistently and my mindset is consumed by fear, anxiety and negative emotions attached to sex.

I don't see injections as a viable route and so the implant offers the last bastion of hope that I have, yet I cannot fully accept this reality, just yet anyway. As I have a wide range of concerns. Perhaps, in this, my worst moments, some of the more experienced among you can help me see some light.

My Age - Being 35 which isn't exactly young but not old either, I have very serious concerns about the amount of implants that I would need, assuming that I make it to a ripe old age. Can my dick hold up against those stresses? Can it retain sensation? These are very real concerns for me and because I'll need more than someone who is implanted at 60+ let's say, I have more chance of encountering severe problems along the way.

Female Perspective - I know this has been talked to death but it is and I think will always be a concern. Just what will women think of me, how many relationships will it sabotage (if any) and how many women will become fed up of - waiting for revisions/replacements, not being able to rouse their partner etc etc etc.

Early Failure Rates - Recent threads on here have been alarming as to the amount of revisions some men have had in very short periods of time. Of course, this makes a potential implantee nervous and creates a level of worry as to the reliability of this medical intervention.

Floppy Heads & Lack of Engorgement - Well the former is an absolute disastrous prospect. As for the latter, I have read now several times of men who have complained of lack of engorgement proving to be a significant and detrimental issue. And it was my understanding that the implant was created so as to allow for penetrative sex. Lack of engorgement however would appear to make things that much trickier.

That about sums up the main areas that give me, let's just say some pause.

As it is, I'm going no where fast. Work has become stagnant for me, I'm no longer pursuing relations with women, I'm becoming a lot moodier and a pain to be around and my life is essentially on hold. I want to be set free, but this seemingly miraculous intervention seems fraught still, with danger.
35 y.o, mild to moderate ED since 21, 3 Dopplers with 1 result of VL & 3 later results of NO physical problem, critically dependent on cialis (efficacy now waning), overcame Lymophoma at 26, ED causing immense & profound psychological distress

tomas1
Posts: 1384
Joined: Tue Jul 23, 2013 5:12 pm
Location: Tempe, AZ

Re: Rock Bottom

Postby tomas1 » Sun Feb 03, 2019 9:47 am

As it is, I'm going no where fast. Work has become stagnant for me, I'm no longer pursuing relations with women, I'm becoming a lot moodier and a pain to be around and my life is essentially on hold. I want to be set free, but this seemingly miraculous intervention seems fraught still, with danger.

defiant, just my opinion, but do you want to go through life this way?

I'm the last person to actually empathize with you but who knows?
81 years
Inject testosterone weekly.
Got implant on 1/22/19 by Dr Avila.
Scrotal, horizontal incision just over 1"
18cm AMS 700 CX, 3.5cm RTE 100cc reservoir
Diagnosed with Gleason 6 prostate cancer. Monitoring it for now.

wallyworld
Posts: 29
Joined: Thu Jul 12, 2018 3:01 pm

Re: Rock Bottom

Postby wallyworld » Sun Feb 03, 2019 10:10 am

defiant wrote:This is certainly as bad as things have ever been for me.

I don't see injections as a viable route



Hi Defiant,

ED sucks, no question about that. I had it since about your age because of MS. I was divorced and single and freaked about having sex with someone and wondering if my dick was going to work or not. My neurologist put me in touch with a Uro who got me started on injections. The first time in his office it felt like he jabbed a ball point pen into me. WTF???? After that initial trauma it became a cake walk and I HATE NEEDLES hence my reaction. The new ones are really small and relatively painless. Once I started having confidence in the meds it became very easy to hide from a date by excusing myself to use the bathroom. That approach allowed my date to participate while I went from soft to fully erect. After 20 years or so it started working less and less but I also developed new diseases so I don't hold that against the meds.

It took me a few years to make the decision to get an implant and I am glad I did because now an erection is immediate, on demand and it lasts forever. Probably like most of us I would prefer my original equipment working but that wasn't in the cards for me.

Don't write off the injections as a possibility. There are multiple mixtures that your doc can prescribe. I think the max mix is Mega Quad mix which finally stopped working for me. But those were 20 pretty damn good years.

Mark
Last edited by wallyworld on Sun Feb 03, 2019 4:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
63, ED 30+ yrs. Trifecta: MS (30 yrs), RP, (10 yrs), Afib (5 yrs). Injecting 30 yrs: PGE1 - Mega-quad mix. Injections achieve no success now as I add new diseases to my resume :D . Implanted Oct 22, 2018 LGX 15 cm x 12 mm + 4 cm RTE, CONCEAL reservoir.

needhelp
Posts: 208
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:07 pm

Re: Rock Bottom

Postby needhelp » Sun Feb 03, 2019 12:35 pm

defiant wrote:This is certainly as bad as things have ever been for me.

At the age of 35, I find myself single, with zero confidence to even approach women let alone consider the idea of a long-term relationship. My relationship with sex, arousal and women is absolutely dire and I can't fathom ever crawling out of this situation with pills only. Pills have indeed begun to fail me consistently and my mindset is consumed by fear, anxiety and negative emotions attached to sex.

I don't see injections as a viable route and so the implant offers the last bastion of hope that I have, yet I cannot fully accept this reality, just yet anyway. As I have a wide range of concerns. Perhaps, in this, my worst moments, some of the more experienced among you can help me see some light.

My Age - Being 35 which isn't exactly young but not old either, I have very serious concerns about the amount of implants that I would need, assuming that I make it to a ripe old age. Can my dick hold up against those stresses? Can it retain sensation? These are very real concerns for me and because I'll need more than someone who is implanted at 60+ let's say, I have more chance of encountering severe problems along the way.

Female Perspective - I know this has been talked to death but it is and I think will always be a concern. Just what will women think of me, how many relationships will it sabotage (if any) and how many women will become fed up of - waiting for revisions/replacements, not being able to rouse their partner etc etc etc.

Early Failure Rates - Recent threads on here have been alarming as to the amount of revisions some men have had in very short periods of time. Of course, this makes a potential implantee nervous and creates a level of worry as to the reliability of this medical intervention.

Floppy Heads & Lack of Engorgement - Well the former is an absolute disastrous prospect. As for the latter, I have read now several times of men who have complained of lack of engorgement proving to be a significant and detrimental issue. And it was my understanding that the implant was created so as to allow for penetrative sex. Lack of engorgement however would appear to make things that much trickier.

That about sums up the main areas that give me, let's just say some pause.

As it is, I'm going no where fast. Work has become stagnant for me, I'm no longer pursuing relations with women, I'm becoming a lot moodier and a pain to be around and my life is essentially on hold. I want to be set free, but this seemingly miraculous intervention seems fraught still, with danger.



I'm with you defiant. Sounds exactly like my situation. I think our situation in making a decision is a little different than some of these other guys on the site. A lot of them have been married for 10, 20, 30 years. Big difference. We are still trying to find some one..

They can all say if she loves you that wont be a problem....well that's true but sometimes that love builds and the first part of dating is where you get to know the other person.... and the sex is a big part of it.… and that's not to be taken in the dirty sense either. We are kind of like interviewing..... and there's a lot of choices out there.

My gf that I had who was the one I fractured it with decided to find a guy that she could have an intimate relationship with. Sex is a big part of a relationship....As a guy … nothing could make you feel worse.

Being single is scary. Please let me say this....this site is a life saver! Everybody has been so supportive. I sometimes feel like I'm jumping into it.

I'm in denial though….. It will get hard next time, I'll get better, I'm making a mistake and so and so on.....

I was so embraced trying to have sex. It would stay hard. If it came out it was not going back in. Id have to hold it as I was doing her... not good. I had a fracture only 8 months ago. Before that I was fully functionable...… now I'm thinking about an implant 8 months later??.

I'm so stressed and fearful that now I'm going to be (trying anyways) dating. I'm going to be very self conscious. The foreplay will be a different. Trying to figure out how to keep the flow as natural as possible. Really not ready to pump it up in front of her.

I'm petrified. I'm hesitant to book the surgery but I keep telling my self, what are my choices? pills didn't work.... shots (I hate) just gave me a soft erection, hurt and I like to be spontaneous anyways. I don't want to have to carry a needle where ever I go...….BUT that's just me...some guys love it. I completely under stand your fears. Although we are a some years apart, the reality and fear is the same.
61 years old, single, Charlotte NC, Had a penile fracture. Implant scheduled for April 17. Dr Terlecki Winston-Salem, NC

needhelp
Posts: 208
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:07 pm

Re: Rock Bottom

Postby needhelp » Sun Feb 03, 2019 1:28 pm

needhelp wrote:
defiant wrote:This is certainly as bad as things have ever been for me.

At the age of 35, I find myself single, with zero confidence to even approach women let alone consider the idea of a long-term relationship. My relationship with sex, arousal and women is absolutely dire and I can't fathom ever crawling out of this situation with pills only. Pills have indeed begun to fail me consistently and my mindset is consumed by fear, anxiety and negative emotions attached to sex.

I don't see injections as a viable route and so the implant offers the last bastion of hope that I have, yet I cannot fully accept this reality, just yet anyway. As I have a wide range of concerns. Perhaps, in this, my worst moments, some of the more experienced among you can help me see some light.

My Age - Being 35 which isn't exactly young but not old either, I have very serious concerns about the amount of implants that I would need, assuming that I make it to a ripe old age. Can my dick hold up against those stresses? Can it retain sensation? These are very real concerns for me and because I'll need more than someone who is implanted at 60+ let's say, I have more chance of encountering severe problems along the way.

Female Perspective - I know this has been talked to death but it is and I think will always be a concern. Just what will women think of me, how many relationships will it sabotage (if any) and how many women will become fed up of - waiting for revisions/replacements, not being able to rouse their partner etc etc etc.

Early Failure Rates - Recent threads on here have been alarming as to the amount of revisions some men have had in very short periods of time. Of course, this makes a potential implantee nervous and creates a level of worry as to the reliability of this medical intervention.

Floppy Heads & Lack of Engorgement - Well the former is an absolute disastrous prospect. As for the latter, I have read now several times of men who have complained of lack of engorgement proving to be a significant and detrimental issue. And it was my understanding that the implant was created so as to allow for penetrative sex. Lack of engorgement however would appear to make things that much trickier.

That about sums up the main areas that give me, let's just say some pause.

As it is, I'm going no where fast. Work has become stagnant for me, I'm no longer pursuing relations with women, I'm becoming a lot moodier and a pain to be around and my life is essentially on hold. I want to be set free, but this seemingly miraculous intervention seems fraught still, with danger.



I'm with you defiant. Sounds exactly like my situation. I think our situation in making a decision is a little different than some of these other guys on the site. A lot of them have been married for 10, 20, 30 years. Big difference. We are still trying to find some one..

They can all say if she loves you that wont be a problem....well that's true but sometimes that love builds and the first part of dating is where you get to know the other person.... and the sex is a big part of it.… and that's not to be taken in the dirty sense either. We are kind of like interviewing..... and there's a lot of choices out there.

My gf that I had who was the one I fractured it with decided to find a guy that she could have an intimate relationship with. Sex is a big part of a relationship....As a guy … nothing could make you feel worse.

Being single is scary. Please let me say this....this site is a life saver! Everybody has been so supportive. I sometimes feel like I'm jumping into it.

I'm in denial though….. It will get hard next time, I'll get better, I'm making a mistake and so and so on.....

I was so embraced trying to have sex. It would stay hard. If it came out it was not going back in. Id have to hold it as I was doing her... not good. I had a fracture only 8 months ago. Before that I was fully functionable...… now I'm thinking about an implant 8 months later??.

I'm so stressed and fearful that now I'm going to be (trying anyways) dating. I'm going to be very self conscious. The foreplay will be a different. Trying to figure out how to keep the flow as natural as possible. Really not ready to pump it up in front of her.

I'm petrified. I'm hesitant to book the surgery but I keep telling my self, what are my choices? pills didn't work.... shots (I hate) just gave me a soft erection, hurt and I like to be spontaneous anyways. I don't want to have to carry a needle where ever I go...….BUT that's just me...some guys love it. I completely under stand your fears. Although we are a some years apart, the reality and fear is the same.


Let me please follow up with this. I feel bad what your going through. This site is to help. I still need as much support as I can get but I also want to help if possible. I think you realize I can relate. Im trying to think of this as this. Right now sex is not happening. What are you going to do if you meet someone? at lease with an implant you can. You have to, like me find that comfort zone when it comes to foreplay and sex. I think trying to have sex and not being able to get it up is humiliating to a guy. If you have an implant (or shots) that will not be a problem. Im trying to tell myself "you will have a new dick" and a hard one. With all that said Im still scard
61 years old, single, Charlotte NC, Had a penile fracture. Implant scheduled for April 17. Dr Terlecki Winston-Salem, NC

Xomanow
Posts: 392
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2015 9:03 pm

Re: Rock Bottom

Postby Xomanow » Sun Feb 03, 2019 2:32 pm

This is short, to the point, and some may consider it crude....but here it is:

With a limp dick you will go nowhere, have no one, and it won't get better......with a good working implant you'll have the opportunity and many possibilities.


Align yourself with one of the top surgeons...…


There are enough things in life that you cannot control....ED is one of them.....the things in life that you can control (and the implant is one of them)…...take control of your life....
Implanted Jan 4 2017 by Dr. Eid - 70 yo and single...ED gradually over 15 yrs...tired of pills, injections, cock rings....happy with my choice and results. Titan OTR - one 20cm cylinder - one 20cm+1 RTE...."got a rocket in my pocket"....

kosh200
Posts: 105
Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2018 12:49 pm

Re: Rock Bottom

Postby kosh200 » Sun Feb 03, 2019 3:42 pm

Defiant-

I was roughly your age when I began my ED journey with the discovery of a lump that turned out to be Peyronies. After about two years of Verapamil shots to shrink the lumps, not only did I have less of a oenis, but I was a beaten man.

It took me finding out that my wife was texting another man to realize this. I had lost my spark. I had become a hum drum non emotional hack that was running through life on automatic pilot. Did my wife want to have penetrating sex with me ? You bet she did! But she also didn’t marry a man that floated in the clouds because he didn’t care about anything. These are reasons my wife was looking outside the relationship.

The months that followed were HORRIBLE! I was trying to get back the man I once was. I knew that if I got divorced that I wouldn’t find someone else because of ED. I feel thatcwithout sex, it’s just a friendship. This is when I became suicidal. Anxiety was an everyday thing and I was super depressed.

With my doctors help, I took a leap of faith. I had hit rock bottom too and there were no more treatments left to do. (I absolutely refused injections, it’s just not for me) my doctor and I scheduled the surgery. I was scared. This was it. There was nothing else left to do. If this doesn’t work then WTF?!?!

The day I scheduled my appointment, I had a sense of calm come over me. The anxiety disappeared, the depression subsided. After I had the procedure done, I had some issues with fluid buildup and required another surgery.

Now, I have an on demand erection that I do not have to plan. It is getting easier to pump it up. I have been excusing myself to the bathroom to pump, but I am working toward pumping during foreplay. The implant has changed my life! Not at not because I can have penetrating sex, but I have gained my confidence back. My marriage is stronger than it’s ever been. Not just because we are having sex again, but because my spark is back.

Defiant- anything others say is helpful. But you have to want to take the next step. Not half assed. You must trust the process. I can’t imagine being single and having an inplant, BUT, if that happened, I am much more confident I will have a successful dating life with my implant than without. There’s lots of What-Ifs. But, if you trust the process and accept it, the future Will be much brighter for you.
45 years old. Diagnosed with Peyronies over 5 years ago. Successfully implanted on 9/6/18 with a Coloplast Titan 18 cm + 3 cm RTEs 4.5”-1st Activation, 6.25” three months of cycling. Dr. Levine. Chicago, Illinois

Andy1955
Posts: 30
Joined: Sat May 26, 2018 10:01 pm

Re: Rock Bottom

Postby Andy1955 » Sun Feb 03, 2019 3:47 pm

I am older than defiant and just a little older than Needhelp; divorced, and can empathize with you both. Out of the clear blue it seemed I developed Peyronies with an already fairly dick. Pills were not really helping but I told myself they were so I continued to date. I made excuses when opportunity arose and caused some problem and as you have experienced, they move on. All that to say I completely understand.

I had a wonderful Dr who is now retired or I would tell you to give him a try. Anyway; when I was talking to him, he realized I didn’t want to accept that an imp,ant was all that was going to help. So he looked at me and said in a very calm voice “You don’t need sex to live but it sure makes it more pleasurable”. He made a suggestion in what he thought would be the best implant for my situation and gave me instruction to go home and read about it because he wanted me to know what I was getting myself in for. I read everything I could find. Then I read about Dr and I visited another. I ruled him out relatively quick. I did more research on Drs and then decided my original Dr was the one. I went back to discuss and plan the surgery. During this visit, I told him I was horrified of all the possibilities of things that can go wrong. He smiled and told me of all he had done, no one ever asked for it to be removed. And said if I wasn’t scared he would be concerned. Where I’m going is everyone on this forum was in similar shoes at one time.

Don’t want to drag this out, but the best advise I can give you is select a Dr that does this regularly and has a good reputation. Do what that Dr tells you after the surgery because he was inside you penis and no knows a lot more about you than you think! Listen to him/her. Once you have healed and you pump that implant up you will be grinning from ear to ear!

I wish you well!
Inplanted May 24, 2018. AMS 700 CX, MS Pump. 21cm x 12mm. Peyronies and ED. Pills stopped working and extreme curvature

needhelp
Posts: 208
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:07 pm

Re: Rock Bottom

Postby needhelp » Sun Feb 03, 2019 4:17 pm

kosh200 wrote:Defiant-

I was roughly your age when I began my ED journey with the discovery of a lump that turned out to be Peyronies. After about two years of Verapamil shots to shrink the lumps, not only did I have less of a oenis, but I was a beaten man.

It took me finding out that my wife was texting another man to realize this. I had lost my spark. I had become a hum drum non emotional hack that was running through life on automatic pilot. Did my wife want to have penetrating sex with me ? You bet she did! But she also didn’t marry a man that floated in the clouds because he didn’t care about anything. These are reasons my wife was looking outside the relationship.

The months that followed were HORRIBLE! I was trying to get back the man I once was. I knew that if I got divorced that I wouldn’t find someone else because of ED. I feel thatcwithout sex, it’s just a friendship. This is when I became suicidal. Anxiety was an everyday thing and I was super depressed.

With my doctors help, I took a leap of faith. I had hit rock bottom too and there were no more treatments left to do. (I absolutely refused injections, it’s just not for me) my doctor and I scheduled the surgery. I was scared. This was it. There was nothing else left to do. If this doesn’t work then WTF?!?!

The day I scheduled my appointment, I had a sense of calm come over me. The anxiety disappeared, the depression subsided. After I had the procedure done, I had some issues with fluid buildup and required another surgery.

Now, I have an on demand erection that I do not have to plan. It is getting easier to pump it up. I have been excusing myself to the bathroom to pump, but I am working toward pumping during foreplay. The implant has changed my life! Not at not because I can have penetrating sex, but I have gained my confidence back. My marriage is stronger than it’s ever been. Not just because we are having sex again, but because my spark is back.

Defiant- anything others say is helpful. But you have to want to take the next step. Not half assed. You must trust the process. I can’t imagine being single and having an inplant, BUT, if that happened, I am much more confident I will have a successful dating life with my implant than without. There’s lots of What-Ifs. But, if you trust the process and accept it, the future Will be much brighter for you.


That was very well put. I want to say thank you because Im going through the same thing defiant is going through. My problem its all been hapening so fast, but I also know there seems to really be no other choice, so why wait...... so much easier said than done. Thank you take the time to send your message.
61 years old, single, Charlotte NC, Had a penile fracture. Implant scheduled for April 17. Dr Terlecki Winston-Salem, NC

needhelp
Posts: 208
Joined: Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:07 pm

Re: Rock Bottom

Postby needhelp » Sun Feb 03, 2019 4:20 pm

Andy1955 wrote:I am older than defiant and just a little older than Needhelp; divorced, and can empathize with you both. Out of the clear blue it seemed I developed Peyronies with an already fairly dick. Pills were not really helping but I told myself they were so I continued to date. I made excuses when opportunity arose and caused some problem and as you have experienced, they move on. All that to say I completely understand.

I had a wonderful Dr who is now retired or I would tell you to give him a try. Anyway; when I was talking to him, he realized I didn’t want to accept that an imp,ant was all that was going to help. So he looked at me and said in a very calm voice “You don’t need sex to live but it sure makes it more pleasurable”. He made a suggestion in what he thought would be the best implant for my situation and gave me instruction to go home and read about it because he wanted me to know what I was getting myself in for. I read everything I could find. Then I read about Dr and I visited another. I ruled him out relatively quick. I did more research on Drs and then decided my original Dr was the one. I went back to discuss and plan the surgery. During this visit, I told him I was horrified of all the possibilities of things that can go wrong. He smiled and told me of all he had done, no one ever asked for it to be removed. And said if I wasn’t scared he would be concerned. Where I’m going is everyone on this forum was in similar shoes at one time.

Don’t want to drag this out, but the best advise I can give you is select a Dr that does this regularly and has a good reputation. Do what that Dr tells you after the surgery because he was inside you penis and no knows a lot more about you than you think! Listen to him/her. Once you have healed and you pump that implant up you will be grinning from ear to ear!

I wish you well!


Very well said. I read this a couple times. It hard being single and going throuh this. This is a great site. People like you are what makes it great......Thank you
61 years old, single, Charlotte NC, Had a penile fracture. Implant scheduled for April 17. Dr Terlecki Winston-Salem, NC


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