justanotherdrumber wrote:If at any point it was decided that sexual relations were to end for some unforeseeable reason it would be a well discussed mutual decision; not a one sided stand off. This would also include , "options ". IF either partner were totally incapacitated to perform or unwilling to participate seeking substitutes from outside the relationship would be on the table if necessary.
Agreed. Not an ideal solution, and difficult for some to accept, but EVERY option should be open.
justanotherdrumber wrote:I just turned 65. My present girlfriend is nearly half my age. We have been together 10 years. During my progression with ED both of us got by by substituting alternate sexual foreplay activities during times when I was having difficulties maintaining a sufficient errection for penetration.
Ideal accomodation to an unfortunate (albeit, thankfully temporary) circumstance
justanotherdrumber wrote:She is sexually active with me because she chooses to be sexual with me. ... IF ... a woman really wants to be with you, she will find a way to do that !
Ideal situation. I am happy for you.
justanotherdrumber wrote:As one of my counselors put it, "withholding sex from a partner is a severe form of psychological abuse"; no matter how they attempt to rationalize it.
Yes, indeed. A marriage is a PARTNERSHIP. Both partners dedicated to the well-being of the other AND OF THE UNION.
I believe we are on the same page but for the primacy of the male partner. Consider this piece of advice a friend of mine got.
As a young couple on their honeymoon, they asked a (vacation) photographer who had been married for 50 years, "What is the secret to such a long marriage?"
He looked at the groom, and said, "YOU, you do everything she tells you to do."
Then he looked at the bride and told her, "YOU, spoil him so rotten that no other woman will want him."
I thought about that for a long time.
Letting the woman have input into what happens to the couple is wise. Women are nesters by nature. They will ALWAYS desire to preserve and advance the common good of the union. They will never give their husband bad advice. They prioritize for the benefit of their children, their home, their husband. The husband may not be top of the list, but at least he is in the mix.
A loving wife will take care of her love as fervently as a loving husband takes care of his.